Who’s your boy?!?
Crazy RON might be on vacation now, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying his individual display of high maintenance follicular design.
TRU WARIER? I say tru jeenyuss.
Archive for the ‘Sports are Gay’ Category
CRAZY RON ARTEST WALLPAPER
Sunday, May 7th, 2006Happy 75th to The ‘SAY HEY KID’
Saturday, May 6th, 2006
WILLIE MAYS is arguably the best player to ever put on a baseball uniform. He was the epitome of what sportswriters now describe as a five-tool player. WILLIE MAYS hit for average and power, ran the bases with intelligence and speed, played a spectacular centerfield, and possessed a great arm. He was also remarkably durable, playing in at least 150 games for 13 consecutive seasons.
MAYS had a habit of addressing his fellow players with a high-spirited “say hey” greeting, which prompted his nickname as the Say Hey Kid. An exuberant player during his earlier days in New York, he became a folk hero by playing stickball with children in the streets that bordered the Polo Grounds stadium. My grandfather was at the Polo Grounds when WILLIE made that mythical legendary catch. My granddad equated him to watching JULIUS ERVING or MICHAEL JORDAN because they were so good you would be scared that if you took your eyes away for a second you might miss something magical.
During the 1950’s there were many a fistfight on the New York City streets because of the debate as to who was the best centerfielder. Was it DUKE SNIDER of the Brooklyn Dodgers, MICKEY MANTLE of the New York Yankees or WILLIE MAYS. My granddad always rolled with WILLIE. He and the rest of the city were heartbroken when the Giants packed their bags for San Francisco.
No matter where WILLIE played ball he was the star attraction. As his career winded down he returned to New York and played for the Mets. The most important thing that I respect about WILLIE MAYS is his pride and his humility. MAYS began his career playing in the segregated Negro Leagues. He even lost two years from the prime of his baseball career to serve in the United States military. And that is one stat that MICKEY and the DUKE can’t match.
AUSTIN CROSHERE = Good Guy Loser
Thursday, May 4th, 2006
As far as one hit wonders go in the Association, my boy AUSTIN CROSHERE is right up there with PENNY HARDAWAY for the unfulfilled potential award. This dude was the second coming of LARRY BIRD before he fell off the map.
My high school buddy JEFF lives in the A.T.L. and his son digs CROSHERE’s game from downtown. So being the kind of dad that we all grew up with he decided to take his son to a Hawks’ game when the Pacers were in town.
I don’t give JEFF credit for scoring the great seats since the Hawks suck so bad I wouldn’t be surprised if they asked him to play. I give JEFF props for finding an AUSTIN CROSHERE jersey that could fit his son.
I was secretly rooting for the Pacers to win this series because your boy CROSHERE was such a cool dude.
Sports Are Still Teh Ghey
Saturday, April 29th, 2006
Sports are the only place that allows men to hug each other and touch each other’s asses. Try doing that to one of your ‘teammates’ inside the Bear+Stearns boardroom and see where it gets you. Athletes live in a strange reality that is separate from our own. They are exalted and reviled for no other reason than the color of the shirt that they wear to work. Some people think the money that some professional athletes earn justifies the public contempt that they receive. These are the same people that hate BARRY BONDS.
There have been all kinds of articles written claiming that BONDS career be given an asterisk. I don’t see these claims directed at any of the other baseball players from his era. BONDS wasn’t the only slugger that hit home runs and broke records during the last ten years. BONDS’ crime against the baseball scribes isn’t just his Blackness, because BOND’s identifies with Black males even less than BABE RUTH does. BOND’s biggest flaw is that he is a Black Douchebag. That is the unforgivable sin.
SHOWBEE BRYANT was a young B.D. for his entire career. He was selfish and pouty. In the classic definition of snitching, he divulged the private secrets of one of the most popular and well-liked players in a Los Angeles Lakers uniform.
The common thread that I see with Black Douchebags is that they are usually from professional athlete families. BONDS dad was a serviceable major leaguer and SHOWBEE’s pop, JELLYBEAN, was journeyman b-baller who played into his fifties. Neither of these men were championship winners in their respective sports. They have bestowed their athleticism upon their seeds and what also seems to be the attitutude of entitlement.
BARRY BONDS made baseball fans forget about his Black Douchebag status by hitting a record number of homeruns in one season. SHOWBEE has taken a page from this playbook as he completed a year in which he had a career high for his scoring average. SHOWBEE nearly scored 100 points one game this season. SHOWBEE has used his me-first mindset to bring the Lakers into the NBA playoffs. Sports fans tend to forget how much they hate you when your team wins games. But trust me, SHOWBEE is still a B.D.
National Boogiemen Association
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
The NBA playoffs have just tipped off and we already have a media ‘boogieman’ sighting. It was going to be RON ARTEST or RASHEED WALLACE that’s for sure. RON steps up by taking the first charge from the commisar’s office. RON ARTEST has always been on a short leash with the commish’s office and that leash seems to get tighter with every technical foul he is assessed.
NBA commish DAVID STERN may only be 5ft.-4inches, but trust me he is a T.I. STERN is not about to let his jig plantation get out of order either. With NBA attendance in a steady decline and more importantly, NBA merchandising, STERN will not even let the impression slip out that the inmates are running the asylum. RON ARTEST should have known better than to put his hand on the Mexican player with the Italian sounding surname. ARTEST’s action further exacerbates the tense racial issues that Blacks and Mexicans are dealing with now. Social misgivings notwithstanding, the NBA playoffs are all about one thing – money. Disney paid the NBA a grip of scrilla for the exclusive rights to broadcast this watered down product. There are so many goddamned playoff games that the regular season seems worthless. I swear that the NBA finals will be played in August this year.
The NBA had such a sweet run in the years past where they had players that were characters and personalities, but they also had a grasp of the team concept of basketball. Maybe the Association didn’t see the handprints on the neck of P.J. CARLESIMO because of his beard, but here we find ourself with a league whose most nationally recognizable M.V.P. candidate loves to azz rape white women. Well guess who’s getting fucked when you sit down to watch the wet blanket Spurs play against the WARIER-less Kings? Those are three hours you will never get back.
And why was RON ARTEST suspended for a game anyhoo? He hit a white dude upside the head that’s why! This is not hockey where white dudes can hit each other in the face until they are bloody and then finish playing the game after they sit alone in a cubicle during the commercial break.
This isn’t the World Cup either, where players have been known to visit the stands and become acquainted with fans that have different political philosophies.
The NBA sure isn’t the WBA either, but that could be part of the problem. I say let the players get a little intimate and physical with each other. Let the players nibble whisper sweet nothings in each others’ ears.
Instead of promoting scoring so much there should be a new appreciation for defense. The kids on Duke’s lacrosse team got in trouble for trying to score. Now they better hope they have a good defense. RON ARTEST knows what it’s like to be dragged through the system and when he isn’t on the court making it tough for people to score he likes to relax by playing classical music. Even the ‘boogieman’ can appreciate BRAHMS and BEETHOVEN
