Archive for the ‘Sports are Gay’ Category

JUICE THE VOTE!

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

mannywood

I’ve decided to vote MANNY RAMIREZ into the MLB All-Star game as a show of support that the league needs players who go the extra length [ll] to keep their wood game strong [ll] in the latter half of the season.

Go here to submit your own All-Star ballot.

Here’s who I voted for…

American League
1st – M.Texeira
2nd – D. Pedroia
3rd – M. Lowell
SS – J. Bartlett
Catcher [ll] – J. Mauer
OF – J. Bay, I. Suzuki, C. Crawford
Write In – A. Cabrera

National League
1st – A. Pujols
2nd – O. Hudson
3rd – D. Wright
SS – M. Tejada
Catcher [ll] – J. Flores
OF – M. Ramirez, C. Beltran, R. Ibanez
Write In – R. Zimmerman

Don’t let the MLB ruin the mid-summer classic by omitting one of the best players in the game.

FAILING LEAF…

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

leaf

RYAN LEAF is the main reason former San Diego Chargers GM BOBBIE BEATHARD lost his gig. LEAF is a monster headcase and a bigger drug addict than DARYL STRAWBERRY and DWIGHT GOODEN combined. There was a time though during his college career when LEAF was considered the best quarterback in the nation.

RYAN LEAF and PEYTON MANNING were the first two draft picks in the 1998 draft. From that point LEAF made one of the most remarkable, precipitous falls from grace. Even MICHAEL VICK would be like “Daaaaayyyyyyum!” RYAN LEAF is under indictment in Texas for burglary and possession of a controlled substance while he is currently undergoing drug rehab in British Columbia.

You don’t go to Canada to get OFF drugs. You go to Canada to GET drugs. The good thing for LEAF is that he hasn’t kicked any dogs.

B-BALL NERDS UNITE!

Thursday, May 21st, 2009

fd

FREE DARKO FTW! TRACY McGRADY? Not so much…

Our good friends over at FreeDarko.com have produced a series of videos in collaboration with adidas. The web videos are effin’ dope. If you don’t know what FreeDarko is about at this point I suggest you close your laptop and smack yourself over the head with it.

Okay, watch these videos first and then smack yourself sill with your computer.

* Double Bonus * Double Bonus * Double Bonus *

Stick around DP.com tonight and live blog the NBA Playoffs with us

MICHEAL VICK AND THE MISSING LINK…

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

croc dog

^^^ Your greatest grandfather!

‘Missing link’ primate likely to stir debate

The missing link for human evolution has been uncovered in Europe. The key factor for mammal development was our ability to bring the ocean on land with us. That and the talent to retain a heating plant inside of our bodies.

The animal credited with being the ‘missing link’ looks something like a crocodile dog. I’m hoping that science will allow us to recreate these animals so that we can study them further, and make them fight in an arena ‘Thunderdome’ stylee.

MICHAEL VICK could emcee the contests. Fuck the football. Croc Dog battles is the future from the past.

A New Coronation In The Association…

Wednesday, May 13th, 2009

lebreezy

As the Association playoffs bounce towards the conference finals the chaff is separated from the wheat. It is the end of the weak. Literally, and figuratively.

I like the fact that Boston will return to the Eastern Conference Finals because the champions should be shot in the head, as opposed to shooting themselves. There is nothing worse than a suicide on this level of competition.

No fucking finger rolls.

No fucking CHARLES SMITH layups!

The Celtics can take a game from the Cavaliers, but not two.

The bigger question is whether Denver can use the strength of CHAUNCEY BILLUPS and the desire of CARMELO ANTHONY to shut down Darth KOBE? BILLUPS turned KOBE into a bitchmade crybaby during the Detroit vs. L.A. finals a few years ago. That was a long time ago though and BILLUPS is older and KOBE is smarter and harder to kill. The Western Conference Finals will be going the full monty. I see the Lakers breaking through the seventh seal. BOBBITO GARCIA might take exception to that.