Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

JAY-Z Does Not Care About Michelob…

Thursday, October 19th, 2006

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JIGGERMAN at the United Nations, “I’m too icy for a water shortage”.

All these non-governmental organizations (NGO’s for those of us not into U.N. speak) were concerned about water shortages in Africa and the subsequent effects of drought and malnourishment. Global warming is being blamed as the culprit for the severe drought in eastern parts of the continent. Arid conditions are predicted to expand to the center of the land mass faster than originally projected. A consortium of NGO’s was formed to devise a way to bring water to Africa’s most needy denizens.

DuPONT Corporation, the creators of nylon and polyester, along with the Global Wheat and Maize Improvement Center have announced a research partnership aimed at developing grains that can survive in the extremely dry conditions that the African soil contains. It’s believed that a maize/wheat hybrid might be able to survive in some of the fertility stressed areas. Africa, where an estimated 200 million people are undernourished and 33 million children suffer from famine, is a primary target for this research.

Celebrities from far and wide are pledging their support for these endeavors. BONO from U2, MATT DAMON and PAUL McCARTNEY have all tried to raise awareness for these projects. To his credit SHAWN ‘JAY-Z’ CARTER proposed one of the most interesting solutions to assist the famine and drought stricken people of Africa.

BUDWEISER!

Budweiser is made with water, yeast, barley, and hops(wheat). One bottle of Budweiser is equal to a week’s amount of water and carbohydrates that some of these people may never see. And when the bottles are empty the African people can make something crafty like a wind chime or an empty bottle instrument. Hey Africa, forget about the residual effects of 500 years of colonialism, “This Bud’s for you!”

ROC-A-FELLA y’all.

The King Of Beers x The King Of Rap + The King Of All Jigs…

Thursday, October 19th, 2006

ghetto celeb mathematics

I thought I was done with talking about Hip-Hop for at least a week or two, but damn, they keep bringing me back into their circle of Hell like DANTE’s Inferno.

By now we all know that FABOLOUS, the straight rapper with the gay stage name, was shot and arrested all in the same night. It’s got to be old news if I know about it since I live in my parents’ basement and I only come to the surface to open the ‘frige. I think FAB just raised the bar now for any young rapper coming into the game and what they might have to do in order to have their CD released. How do you top the FABOLOUS double-play? I say you still have to get shot and arrested, but first you have to pour a bottle of Cristal champagne on your head and then set yourself on fire. You young rappers are gonna have to come hardbody now or else get yourself a job at the post office.

JAY-Z is slowly reconnecting with the regular guy that loves his music, but can’t afford to travel to Aspen, or Monte Carlo, or Nice. It doesn’t mean that the regular guy doesn’t want the finer things in life it’s just that his level of education (and inability to rap over beats) will forever place him on the service side of our economy. Since this fool can’t even pronounce Armand De Brignac (JAY’s new champagne choice) JAY-Z is stepping down to his level… somewhat. As a paid consultant for the Anheuser-Busch conglomerate, JAY-Z will tell the suits in St. Louis how to get some of that sweet Black scrilla that we would normally spend on Champale. Now if only one of these venerable rap music labels would hire JAY to be their president then we might be able to get some decent artist development popping from someone who understands what it’s like to be on the other side of the table. Yeah, maybe…

The first big album event of the fourth quarter took place Tuesday with the release of The King Of All Jigs, PUFF DIDDY’s new CD titled ‘Press Play’. The early album reviews have been good and the demand for the album at DIDDY’s restaurant ‘JUSTINs’ is why FABOLOUS was shot, allegedly.

As part of the promotional whirlwind for the album PUFF will embark on one of his usual over-ambitious all nighters. The details are as follows…

1) Skiing in Vail on Thursday with DAVID HASSELHOFF

2) Friday – La Maas and midwife clases with KIM PORTER on DONALD TRUMP’s private jet

3) Run Boston Marathon on Saturday for MTV taping (seven months early)

4) On Sunday unearth the casket of Notorious B.I.G. and remove all remaining jewelry

5) Brush LYOR COHEN’s Wigs when back at WMG Manhattan offices on Monday

6) Tuesday – make YouTube video of BadBoy staff dancing when Soundscan reports are delivered

With DIDDY as busy as he is these days I’m not sure who will host the BET Hip-Hop Awards. The bigger question I have is do people still watch B.E.T.? It seems kind of redundant and cheaply produced when compared to MTV2 and VH-1. Maybe it’s time to pull the plug on the Negro Network?

Then again we could just pour champagne on top of it and set it on fire. That would be keeping it Hip-Hop.

pissy crissy

HIP-HOP IS REAL LIFE BUSINESS…

Sunday, October 15th, 2006

epmd

Now let’s put this all in perspective…

I found myself B.B.King’s on 42nd Street last night like I do every so often when I want to see a performance by artists that I favor. ERYKAH BADU, KINDRED and GEORGE CLINTON have played the space before. I have seen a Hip-Hop show or two there, but nothing that jumps out in my mind as being sensational or dare I say historic. So try to understand my need for hyperbole as I frame this account of last night’s EPMD reunion concert.

Times Square 42nd Streeet was the epicenter of NYC’s Hip-Hop scene twenty years ago. It was the place that B-Boys went to hang out or catch a flick. Classic Chinese karate joints played in the moviehouses that ran along ‘The Deuce’. You remember the kind with the horrible dubbing, but sick action. Everybody came to 42nd Street to feel the energy of the city. Neon lights flickered throughout the night and they made Times Square so bright you might think its daytime. On 47th Street was a nightclub called the Latin Quarter. This space was Hip-Hop’s preeminent home in the early mid-1980’s until it closed it’s doors in 1988. There was another popular Hip-Hop club that was open for a brief period called Union Square, located at the north end of, you guessed it, Union Square. There were plenty of great Hip-Hop moments there as well, but Latin Quarter was on the Deuce and that was the only place to be if you loved Hip-Hop.

So it was no small wonder to me when I saw that the line for the show extended the length of West 42nd Street. Just like Sneaker Pimps the night before featuring Ghostface real Hip-Hop fans know when there is an event that can’t be missed. There was clearly more people waiting on line than the space could legally occcupy so C.S. and I did what we always do. When I first met this women she had no idea how to enterprise a line, but in the short time that we have been dating she has become almost as gully as me. When we were inside I chose my usual viewing position in the middle of the room. With that I can see the entire space from end to end. This is important to note since this is an historic Hip-Hop show that people have been waiting on line to get into and nobody was frisked even slightly. I could have brought in my old Latin Quarter box cutters and my hammer and no one would be none the wiser.

It turns out that a fight did break out too, right in front of the main bar. What was hilarious to me is that it was only a minor distraction since the host deejay, MISTER CEE, was playing his cadre of true school hits and break beats. Security never came and all the people filled back in the empty void after the commotion wwas settled. I chose the perfect place to post up too, because on my right hand side was my brother from another mother, JERRY. He is Hip-Hop to the core. Most of you would call him JUJU from the BeatNuts. JUJU hammed it up for the camera. Next to JUJU was JUST BLAZE and I had to show that man respect for keeping the ‘LO lifestyle on peoples’ minds. He showed love because I had some classic graphic shit on myself. I saw MARK a/k/a Playboy from the collective and he told me that MENASAUR was somewhere in the crowd also. HAIL MEG!

As far as the concert went down, KEITH MURRAY, DJ SCRATCH, DAS EFX, REDMAN and EPMD were all in rare form. Their energy was ridiculous and you could see how much they enjoyed performing in front of a group of people that lived and died on every word that they spit into the microphone. These dudes were onstage living out their dreams. KEITH MURRAY and REDMAN bodysurfed the audience several times. If the crowd were ten years younger they would have passed dudes all around like a Garcia y Vega. During the course of the show E Double said something that was a bit profound and important. While fans of Hip-Hop music sit around and wait for someone to rescue Hip-Hop nothing is being accomplished. Saving Hip-Hop isn’t up to the artist, no matter how much money he pretends to have. Hip-Hop belongs to the fans.

Hip-Hop belongs to the dirty ghetto kids with Sony Walkman cassette players with so much scotch tape on them your friends call it your ‘Tapeman’. Hip-Hop belongs to the kids from the suburbs wearing backpacks and riding BMX bikes to school. Hip-Hop belongs to us all and if we decide to let it represent us as finger popping, fried chicken noodle soup eating, white tee, du-rag wearing nincompoops then it is our own fault. We shouldn’t be blaming any label executives and artists for our own personal dilemma of lacking substance.

More than anything else I have learned from the Ghostface and EPMD show is that when we give respects to our friends and the artists that have passed away we are really celebrating life. I think that theme is central to my contemplation of Hip-Hop. I will no longer give value to the material things that only promote the culture of death. It’s unfortunate to me that the vehicle that so many of us can use to make a living is being driven by those that only wish to make a killing.

CHOOSE LIFE.

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SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Saturday, October 14th, 2006

sneaker pimps

SNEAKER PIMPS IS HIP-HOP!

C.S. met up with me downtown and she decided to come with me into the Sneaker Pimps show. For the uninitiated, Sneaker Pimps is a traveling art exhibition that celebrates not just the sneaker culture but the passion that people have for urban style and culture. I went to the Pimps show in Atlanta which was fun (sorry I never dropped the flicks), but Sneaker Pimps in NYC is where this event finds it’s crescendo. Cats haven’t just taken their one time’s off ice, but they are rockin’ their most crispy I.T.’s to boot. There was so much ‘LO gear in the building it felt like a family reunion.

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But the night was really about sneakers and unlike the Atlanta show, everybody tonight was wearing sneakers. Some of the rarest joints weren’t just on display, but on peoples’ feet as well. Peace to DJ CLARK KENT who is a Don in the sneaker game. He gave away a brand new pair of HUF NIKEs to a dude who had just bought a pair of crispy AF-1’s to wear to the show. Just like that, homie got a pair of kicks that will anchor his collection for years to come. What I like about CLARK KENT is that he realizes that the culture can’t be sustained by making people camp out overnight at stores just for an exclusive pair. Like CLARK KENT says, “At the end of the day, it’s just rubber and leather.” I have to agree with that, although some days it’s rubber and premium leather.

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Peace to my dude AIR MAXWELL and his boys who let C.S. and I jump the line in front of them (the line extended all the way from Sixth Avenue to Fifth Avenue). Hip-Hop cop Detective DERRICK PARKER was working security for what was an unbelievable crowd of thousands of people. The performers scheduled for tonight were the BeatNuts, the Clipse, and Ghostface Killah. I wore my ‘Iron Man’ Air Max 180’s around my neck. Inside the venue there were people vending their sneakers as well as other goods. The Dunk Xchange featured some sick customized NIKE Dunks as well as other styles. The space hosting the party is called Avalon, but for any true school NYC party heads you would know the building better as Limelight. It’s a wild labyrinth of rooms and balconies that feed off the main space which was formerly a church. C.S. and I perched down in the skybox balcony to enjoy the show.

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Clipse came on first after the Ice Cream skate team did a few ollies on a modified half pipe constructed on the stage. The crowd loved the Clipse and the people sung along with most of their songs. They brought out Ab Live from Major Figures and some other dude from their Re-Up gang and they did a few of those songs too. C.S. and I both agree that the Clipse seem to have a rock (no pun intended) solid base fan following, which makes us wonder why their label won’t release any new music from them. Then it dawned on me that the Clipse = Most Downloaded. Yeah, they have fans, but their fans are all of the internets kids who don’t buy music. These kids will support their favorite artists at shows and events, but they won’t go to Tower Records to buy a CD. Actually, they won’t be able to go to Tower any longer. R.I.P. Tower Records.

iron man 180
iron man 180
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Ghostface was one of the best shows I have seen is a long while. He and the Theodore Unit came onstage shortly after the Clipse and they basically took the crowd to that place that not many rap acts can occupy. We were in a state of total delirium. With hit songs from Wu-Tang’s catalog to some of his own joints he gave the crowd energy every time we heard a new sample drop. Even though the sound system inside the venue was fucked up the crowd didn’t care so neither did Ghost. Sometimes he’d just let us sing the song over the beat. The best moment of the night is when Big Ghost did a tribute to Ol’ Dirty Bastard. When I tell you that the entire crowd went crazy chanting the lyrics for ‘Shimmy Shimmy Ya’ it was like being inside the essence of the ONE. It was fitting that Sneaker Pimps held this show in a building that once a church. The spirit of Big Baby Jesus came down last night and touched us all. Wu-Tang forever.

Chuuuuuuurch.

iron man 180

SEAN CARTER = KING OF ZAMUNDA

Friday, October 13th, 2006

king jofee jay

I don’t have any reference text for these pictures but my intuition tells me that JAY-Z has been annointed the king of Africa now that he has promised to bring the Fanta Girls to the dark continent.

king jofee jay