Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

CHAPPELLE’s Show Is For Sell Outs

Friday, July 7th, 2006

chapp

CHAPPELLE’s ill-fated televsion program resumes this weekend and I wonder how many of you fucks will be tuned in to watch his antics. Even though CHAPPELLE himself asked folks not to support this season because of the salty way that Comedy Central gangstered the footage I am sure that most of you could give less than a rat’s azz and you will support the network. You don’t have to lie to me because your cable/satellite provider knows exactly what network that your set is tuned into and they will make the report to Nielsen anyhoo without your consent.

This is why I choose not to fuck with white or Black people. Both will stab you in the back for their own petty interests, money, entertainment, whatever. NEAL BRENNAN flipped on DAVE CHAPPELLE even though they had been having success for over ten years. What would I expect from you people who have no loyalty to anyone, not even GOD. Enjoy the CHAPPELLE Show you selfish bastards.

GAY DWYANE Gets More Pantyhose

Friday, July 7th, 2006

gay dwyane

The Miami Heat are poised to offer stocking fetishist DWYANE WADE more than $17mil a year to spend on pantyhose and M.A.C. lipglass for kissing SHAQ’s ass.

The running of the bulls started early this year when the Chicago Bulls mascot was charged with running from the authorities.

BEN WALLACE to Chicago!?!

The Knicks still suck.

Cash Rules Everything Around Me

Thursday, July 6th, 2006

Well boys and girls, I hope that the hangover fom Tuesday has finally worn off because if it hasn’t I am going to give you some sobering news.

Our economy is fucked the fuck up. President BUSH gambled on this Iraqi war for several reasons. One of them was to uplift the U.S. economy through the revitalization of the military industrial complex. It has worked to a small degree, but that has been offset by the large debt that the country and individuals have amassed during the same period. We are facing a massive downturn in our economy and this may mean more unemployment and inflation for some of us.

WILLIAM H. SUNDAY wasn’t always homeless. There was a time when he was a promising young bond tradesman for Oppenheimer. Alright, he never actually traded bonds, he worked in the mailroom, but he dreamed of trading one day. BILLY gave me some advice as to how I might be able to structure myself in order to ride out this oncoming fiscal bear economy.

INVEST IN PRECIOUS METALS
Not the bullshiite that Jacob the Jeweler sells but mutual funds that are weighted heavy with gold, silver, copper and other metals. Their values are not attached to any central bank therefore they have the least liability.

INVEST IN FOREIGN CURRENCIES
Even while we shove our rifles up the azzes of insurgents, our dollar is taking a global beatdown. Now is the time to invest in foreign currencies like the Euro and the Yen. African countries and South America have the most potential for growth also.

THE HOUSING BUBBLE POPS
I am not telling you not to buy a house if it will be for you to live in, but certainly don’t buy any property if you are looking to speculate. This is where many of us have assumed debt that will not be turned around as quickly. The rate at which real estate was appreciating was unchecked by the feds and now we have too many properties that were over-appraised.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS – FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY
It’s the American thing to do

We now return you to your regular programming…

It’s All About Money, Ain’t A Damn Thing Funny…

Wednesday, July 5th, 2006

black bush

Can you imagine for one second, President BUSH doing the ‘motorcycle’ dance? Well, it’s going dowwwwwwwwwwn in D.C. G DUBBZ just appointed another T.I. to the Federal Reserve Board. Remind me to buy some M.A.C. lipglass with my next paycheck so my lips can look purty when I kiss my social security benefits goodbye.

FREDERIC MISHKIN isn’t just some texas flunkie that G DUBBZ sniffed a line or two with. This dude is like the real deal. He wrote the book on how to get that cheddar. He actually wrote like three or four textbooks on money so he isn’t going to be another MICHAEL BROWN type appointee. That doesn’t mean that the results for poor people will get any better.

Big brains like FRED MISHKIN are great when hard numbers need to be crunched, but they lack the insight to see the ripple effects that large scale economies play on the indiviuals that occupy the lowest tiers. MISHKIN is so wrapped up in the macro-economy that he can’t see that most of us Americans live according to micro-economics. My paycheck is so microscopic that I can only afford to buy dinner for my family that I heat in a microwave.

Black Children Aren’t Just For Photo-Ops

Wednesday, July 5th, 2006

ANGELINA JOLIE increased her street cred 1000% after her interview with COOPER ANDERSON, er, ANDERSON COOPER, er… that nigga has the white equivalent of a ghetto name. How you gonna have two last names as your first name?!? If he was a Black his name would be D’BRICKASHAW.

I am glad that a daughter of privilege has all this empathy for people in need. I need to have sex with a hot piece of white poonahnee. My organization is definitely non-profit too. Maybe if I create a flyer I can get ANGELINA’s attention.