Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

ENDANGERED SPECIES…

Monday, May 22nd, 2006

fruitkwan

One of my internets sisters, the MODEL MINORITY always gives me something to think about. She ruminates on missing the KEHINDE WILEY show at the Brooklyn Museum of Art. I did catch the show and I thought that the work was profound. The JEAN MICHEL BASQUIAT show was more extensive than WILEY’s installation, but WILEY’s jawn had more presence.

fruitkwan

What riveted me to the paintings were their arrogant regality. I understand that he used the work of 17th century masters to form the backdrop for his series, but there was a louder resonance for me in seeing Black men in this juxtaposition.

fruitkwan

CHOCOLATE SNOWFLAKE and I went on a date to the museum to view the exhibit and enjoy the once a month party that the museum hosts every first Saturday of each month. The Brooklyn Museum of Art has presented hundreds of exhibits from Black artists but this was the first that I could remember having prime gallery space on the upper floors. The museum’s gallery was unusually crowded and I found it astonishing to see all the non-Blacks that had come to view the exhibit. I think that it was the very first time that some of these people may have looked into the face of a Black man.

I can’t say I blame them either because you have to be able to look at people as equals on a human level before you can earn the right to look at them as beautiful. WILEY’s portraits were beautiful and bold. They weren’t menacing, but they were also uncomprimising. It was making the statement to me that said, “And what?”

fruitkwan

C.S. burst my majestic bubble when she told me that KEHINDE WILEY was a fudge and his subjects were more than likely some of his young paramours. In her opinion the exhibit was cartoonish and it only put the images in the realm of grotesque parody.

Whatever, whatever, at least I got me a free cotton t-shirt from the event.

NEW YORK YANKEES = CHOKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Monday, May 22nd, 2006

DEREK likes double plays

QUEENS STAND UP! Queens, New York that is.

How sweet is it that the Mets ate the Yankees food this weekend? The Mets should have swept them fags too, but BILLY WAGNER wasn’t built for the bigtime.

“Hey BILLY, your’e not in Kansas anymore you half-a-homo. Get a fuckin’ out bitch!”

Yeah, I have my heckling already in midseason form and I haven’t even been to a game yet. By the buy, I still have a few ‘VOTE FOR PEDRO’ shirts left to hustle. Don’t make ZILLZ buy them all.

You knew the Yanks were fudges anyhoo because STEINBRENNER makes them shave their moustaches before they give him oral. Now YouTube has put their story on Front Street.



In other gaysball news BARRY BONDS a/k/a B.D.B. has tied the all time home run record of America’s most beloved undercover octaroon, BABE RUTH.

for dad

The new controversy is that BARRY doesn’t want to sign the baseball since the fan doesn’t want to give it back to him. How teh ghey is all of this ‘ball signing’ nonsense? And how completely teh ghey is the cottage industry that regulates the value of signed balls?!? Every year these homos determine how much the balls of a famous athlete should cost. One year it’s out of the roof and then the next year it’s meh.

I hope that none of your children get hooked into the memorabilia collecting rackets. You can never resell for the book value any of the gay items that you’ve paid a king’s ransom for. The dealers have shitloads of this crap and they prey on the emo sentimentality of kids’ parents. If you want something of value from BARRY BONDS’ career you should find one of his used syringes.

TODD McFARLANE has already bought all of MARK McGUIRE’s dirty needles off eBay.

WE’RE BAAAAACK!!!! Well, Not Really…

Monday, May 22nd, 2006

stymie

What it do web-cipher?!? Your’e man fifty-grand is back on this blogrizzle fa’shizzle. We still haven’t ironed out all the coding issues, but I can’t stay out the loop for too long. Like your boy MIKE JONES said, “if you don’t work you don’t eat, if you don’t grind you don’t shine.”

I should have listened to him before I tricked all my paper away on the website’s info tech expert, JACQUI HERNANDEZ. I took her to two sold out concerts featuring the ROOTS, COMMON, MOS DEF, ERYKAH BADU, NAS, JAY-Z and DAVE CHAPPELLE and then she pulls up lame when its time to fix the bugs in the WordPress O.S. Instead she passes me off to some telephone techserve who prah’lee hasn’t had her equipment upgraded since the tsunami.

thai i.t.

No, I do not want a quart of dog fried rice! I want my website fixed and I need to have my computer debugged. So now I am put on hold for like an hour and when the chick comes back on the line she gives me the address where I have to take my computer. Alright, let’s see what techs are available on a sunny Saturday afternoon?

hell naw

O.K. First off, I don’t trust any repairmen that don’t wear undergarments. Unless you are like me, sitting in your parent’s basement, drinking Level vodka mixed with Tropicana Tropics Orange Peach Mango juice from your special cup with the crazy straw, you MUST wear undergarments.

The final verdict is that I need a new flux capacitor for my computer so unless anyone out there has the official bone gristle hook up on a new iMac I will have to keep trying to churn out this blog with my Frankenstein G4.

chewie and the man

SPAM, BITCHES!

Friday, May 19th, 2006

spam

What it do web cipher? I apologize to some of you if your comments haven’t been posted one hundred. It’s time for us to do some unexpected site maintenance to handle the traffic that is falling thru the seams. We will have our tech staffers like JACQUI HERNANDEZ get right on top of the issue. When she gets on top of something it always gets handled right. Nah’mean?!?

I call my baby P.U.S.S.Y.

Shouts to everybody that has been effing with us for the second quarter. We ain’t in the lead yet, but our offense is streaky like JOHN STARKS and it hasn’t been shooting its best. Otherwise, everything is still gravy in the Navy and we will be be back on this blog grizzly in a hot one with more of that internets crack that you be fiendin’ for. And don’t forget…

BLU CHEEZ IS FOR THE KIDS!

killa kid

The MATRIX vs. The DAVINCI CODE

Thursday, May 18th, 2006

miller ronin

Just as an aside, if you feel like enjoying some meta-retro-futuristic FRANK MILLER work pick up a copy of the graphic novel RONIN. Good times.

The Association has listened to you NBA 2K6 stans and will move to re-format the playoff games. The preliminary proposal doesn’t make the game as fun as the DP dot Com bracket, but we can always pray. Here is a second round matchup that we could have seen…

Phoenix Suns vs. Clevland Cavaliers
The league MVP against the clear MVP in the East, LeBRON JAMES. Actually the focus of the series will be SHAWN ‘The Matrix’ MARION and LeBRON ‘Young DaVinci Code’ JAMES. RAJA BELL and LARRY HUGHES are the co-stars.

matrix over mash

The Matrix was always an exciting player and with the addition of AMARE STOUDEMIRE and STEVE NASH to the Phoenix mix you thought there might be a new sheriff in the West. When the Suns are on full blast you had better wear your track shoes to the gym. The biggest problem for the Suns is that their high-octane offense is complimented by a low horsepower defense. The Suns give up a lot of shots and size to most teams in the league. They can get outrebounded, but they can’t be outrun.

Let’s take a look at the NIKE SHOX MTX worn by SHAWN ‘The Matrix’ MARION.

SHOX MTX

The Cleveland Cavaliers are a resourceful scrappy team. Not too many names that you would recognize on the back of a jersey, even though they have their own ‘Snow Man‘. It has been LeBRON JAMES mostly. His sneaker is called the NIKE AIR ZOOM LeBRON 3. He is one of the league’s bright stars and every year his game and countenance improves. The DaVinci Code refers to people that are direct descendant’s of histories most controversial jew (no, not LENNY BRUCE). LeBRON’s got the look of someone that could be from that Ethiopian/Eritrean region.

lebreeze

This is a fun series because the Cleveland team surprisingly likes to run the floor. LeBRON and LARRY HUGHES fill the wings up with their slashing and spot up shooting. When LARRY has to take a break from the team for his brother’s funeral Phoenix takes the advantage. When he returns to the team the tables are evened.

I like Phoenix in 7 games for this series and the deciding factor was the NIKE SHOX MTX. I pick their design over that of the NIKE ZOOM LeBRON III.

ZOOM LEBRON 3