Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

A LETTER FROM THE MANAGEMENT

Friday, May 2nd, 2008

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I know you folks don’t want to hear about my money woes especially since I stay copping that so fresh and so clean from my favorite sneaker stores. The truth is that I don’t want to bother you either since we all are in the same boat floating in an ocean of debt.

Just don’t be too surprised when you see ad banners posted here in the near future. I will try my best to regulate every single company or corporation that uses this space. The ultimate purpose is have a website that pays for itself and everything that is required to maintain it. From bandwidth and domain registry to recordable DVD’s and snailmail postage, this site should be independent from my personal expenses.

Except my time investment, and yours as well. I want to give a special thank you to the six people who read this page daily.

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We used to have ten folks that read everyday but then I said something bad about OPRAH, or white, and now I am back down to six readers. ERNIE what up? I know you got at least one book to sell too. This starving artist shit is fugazi (no rich, upper-class punk rock band). I gotta come up on a master plan to get my paper back in order.

I got an idea from the executive director of the Black Maria Film Festival. He said that every year he and his wife decide to incorporate a ghetto word into their vocabulary. Last year they finally accepted ‘Bling’. Guess which word they are going to choose for FY ’08?

> PrA’li <

That is the new spelling for the word ‘prah’lee’ which was formerly the word ‘probably’. I’ve added some new features which should hopefully allow the word to become stuffwhitepeoplelike.

As you can see with the revised spelling I’ve taken a stand on consonant and vowel conservation. We have cut down on the letters being used and the syllables being uttered. This helps the Earth because less greenhouse gases will be emitted due to less energy being spent on writing and saying the word.

You may not use the word too often but think about all the people who are tragically undecided.

Invest in a better future for all of our children. Click the ‘Pra’li’ button on the right and send me some spare PayPal. You would do it for NPR.

50 dallas

Don’t H8 Haiti by MAXINE

Friday, May 2nd, 2008

port au prince

Editor’s note: DP Dot Com’s resident rude gyal goes in on the politiricks of poverty and privilege.

I’m telling you now, don’t even fucking read this drop if you aren’t prepared to get angry. Do you know what the fuck is going on in Haiti? People are starving and dying and rioting in the streets over the rising costs of food, meanwhile back at the motherfucking ranch, President Bush was parading the Pope around as if all is well in the world of Hail Mary’s and evangelistic molestations instead of doing something concrete about it. So now I guess its all good for Catholics to starve to death as long as no one diddles around with their genitals?

Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. The poorest country on our side of the world and for quite some time, this was largely due to government corruption and an unstable economy, it wasn’t until a deal in 1986, that Haiti became the United States’ bottom bitch. After former dictator Jean Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier raided the treasury, Haiti received a loan from the International Monetary Fund (IMF). This is basically a pool of rich ass heads of countries that have the dough to lend cash to other countries, opening a door for micromanagement and unrealistic views of democracy.

I don’t have to tell you that the United States is one of the richest countries in the world, making it easy to understand the strong influence in the IMF. The loan to Haiti was heavy, and I’m not just talking about the $24.6 million price tag. See, prior to this deal, there were strong protections to ensure Haiti’s place in a competitive agricultural market, making it difficult for other countries, specifically the US to sell its merchandise in Haiti. As a part of the deal, Haiti agreed to relax the tariff laws, making the market prime “real estate” if you will.

The President of the World Bank (right, you know his ass isn’t starving) cites the following reasons for the 141 percent increase in food costs.

  • Fuel costs (translation-the fucking war in Iraq. A barrel of oil costing $113 is gotdamn criminal)
  • Weather problems (translation-global warming)
  • Increased demand in China and India (translation-those motherfuckers need to stop having so many babies and pay some bills)
  • Biofuel from cereal crops (translation-Bio-fuel? I don’t even know what that means, seeing as how only a quarter of Haiti’s 2,500 miles of roads are paved, who is driving?)
  • This whole thing reads like a drug deal gone bad. Sure, Haiti has always been fucked up, bruised up, knifed up, and prone to a good Coup on any given day but the United States started this whole thing. By perpetuating the “rice war” it caused the country to compete with itself, meanwhile the imported “Miami rice” was monopolizing the whole market through larger quantities, poorer quality and cheaper prices. Subsidized rice importers are making upwards of $700 million a year on the strength of Haitian imports alone. This means the rice dealers are selling us their shit, and selling it to the Haitians too all the while jacking up the prices. We’re way too concerned with gas prices to pay attention to what’s on the other side of that welfare size bag of Uncle Bens though.

    This annoys the shit out of me. They will have us believe that even though there are a bunch of starving motherfuckers in this world, Haitian farmers, can’t produce sales. The truth is that the Haitians were hoodwinked and didn’t even realize it. By relaxing the tariff laws, Haiti swam right down into the belly of the beast. Why isn’t the US importing Haitian rice to deal equal? Oh, see, there are specific laws that prohibit the sale and distribution of rice not processed, bagged and shipped in the US. Surprised? Read the NAFTA Clauses.

    People can’t eat. They are burning tires in the streets in demonstrations of the burning pain of “Clorox,” the name Haitians have likened to the stinging feeling of emptiness and despair in their stomachs. Food. Who was it that said the United States is the only place where people hunt on a full stomach? This country is fucked up and if you didn’t know it before now, there isn’t a thing I can do to help you. Sure, some countries have done what they can but before you start with that ‘benefit of the doubt’ bullshit, the $200 million in UN aid Bush pledged, aside from not going to the most affected areas, all of the food and supplies purchased with that money is siphoned through US products, merchants and distributers, making it only about half that amount to be divided through the hunger drenched countries.

    When do we get mad? We stood by and watched Kenya burn, all the while a shady deal was being brokered behind closed doors. We forgave President Clinton for ignoring Darfur. We watched our brothers and sisters, our people drown when the levees broke and the White House gloated over a “heck of a job.” We saw our grandmothers stand in line, their eyes shining with pride at completing the oldest form of citizenship, only to have their vote stripped away by the dickless sons of bitches who are supposed to represent our interests. We cheered on the Jena 6 and then forgot those motherfuckers when they couldn’t even wear a damn suit to the BET Awards.

    I don’t know the solution, but I’m sure that eating less and driving less has something to do with it.

    I stay woke. Believe that.

    Word to Samuel Dalembert.

    POLITRICKS 2008: Digging For Delegates…

    Thursday, May 1st, 2008

    hrc

    HRC goes in deep for superdelegates…

    I don’t like to do too much math nowadays outside of managing my perpetual personal debt ratio, but am I mistaken when I think that HILLARY CLINTON has no chance of winning the Democratic party’s nomination outright with pledged delegates?

    Then why is she still campaigning?

    In the larger scheme of things I think the Democratic party should lose some of their longtime liberal voters. The system the Democrats have in place with their superdelegates has the party sitting on the fence of respectability and of transparency. With the knowledge that you can ultimately be disenfranchised from your vote should make most people reconsider their party affiliation.

    Not that things get any better on the Republican side of the game either. KARL ROVE is responsible for so much vote-rigging and other clandestine bullshit by himself he should have his own prison wing. National elections have so much money at stake that it doesn’t surprise me the length that politician will go to to disenfranchise voters. Look how fucked the fuck up our economy became in the only the first four years of the G DUBBZ administration.

    That was a sign that BUSH’s acolytes were raiding the treasury, just like how the CLINTON’s looted the White House on their way out the front door. These folks are so brazen with their criminality because they know they can’t be prosecuted. Between the BUSH and CLINTON families penchant for stealing from Americans I wouldn’t be surprised if a poll tax were enacted if HRC was “elected” to the presidency. How else are we going to afford the flatware that she absconds with when she leaves office?

    It’s A Promo, It’s A Promo, It’s A Promo…

    Monday, April 28th, 2008

    i.c.

    A couple of teaser clips from the new iNternets Celebrities video ‘CHECKMATE‘.


    O.G. Online Banking


    Child Support Payment Center

    POLITRICKS 2008: Scorched Earth Campaigning…

    Monday, April 28th, 2008

    clinton

    Mama said knock YOUUUU out…

    If you ask me, the campaign of HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON has tarnished BILL CLINTON’s legacy as president. It has forced me to re-examine his corporate malfeasance acceptance. His handshakes and winked eyes towards trade abroad and his insane record for sending Black men to prison like it was band camp.

    BILL CLINTON never seemed as slick or dishonest when he was in office. Now its more obvious how grimey he can get. Didn’t he and HRC boost some of the furnishings from the White House? Prah’lee for BILL to put on eBay so that he could put funds into his escort hooker PayPal account.

    HRC sure could use that money now as her campaign sets the political landscape on fire like southern California.

    On one hand HRC says that OBAAMA ain’t hardbody enough to be president because here she is putting her hands in his face and he hasn’t even slapped her yet. You already know that BILL would have been slapped HRC by now. Whenever HRC trotted out a social program and the Rethug congress threw that shit on the wall she would get a ‘Ho Sit Down’ from her husband.

    clinton

    Instead of simply just brushing the dirt off his shoulders, a ‘HO SIT DOWN‘ is what OBAAMA needs to give HILLARY CLINTON.

    He needs to say, “Ho Sit Down! You is fucking up the Democratic party, and you know Black peoples love to get they leftwing party right”

    Man. I wish OBAAMA talked like that all he time.

    Although it would prah’lee mean that I was the only person that understood what he was saying.

    And its not just a silly blogger like myself telling HRC that the time has come to fold up the tent. The CLINTON campaigns biggest financiers are starting to tighten their purses because she seems so desperate to win. Then HRC gets even more desperate and sullies the party even further. Girlboy TINA FEY can do only so much for HRC against the mulatto juggernaut named OBAAMA.

    If HILLARY is determined to take this fight to the middle of August then she had better enlist a liteskin dynamo of her very own to combat OBAAMA’s audacity of optimism.

    I’ve seen BeYONCE doing DirecTV commercials so she can’t be too expensive for the cash strapped CLINTON campaign.

    clinton