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It was the first Saturday in May. C.S. left me alone for the whole day so I could get some work done around the house (read: surfing the webs, reading the NYTimes, steaming up my funky underpants). When she came home I had to get out so she could open up a window or two.

I was chomping at the bit to get out anyhoo. My secret is that I had a coupon for 30% off at Foot Locker stores. Other than the Air Jordan releases the regular Foot Lockers carry such miserable general release sneakers. I decided to take my coupon to the NIKE x Foot Locker = ‘House of Hoops’ retail installation on 125th Street.

Speaking of hoops and scoop shots and the what not, ATMOS scooped NIKE by being the first sneaker boutique going high end flagship in Harlem. Plus, those fools know how to party.

Shouts to Mr.T over at StapleCrops. That’s my homey romey even if the website he manages misses the mark. I maided the hot song. Your math is wrong sonn.

You need more people.

Speaking of math…

This is why I love NYC. The potential for falling into some random good shit is the range of all numbers greater than zero. That’s just what had happened to me. I got a little story about it. You want to hear it? Here it go…

Harlem is forever the heart party people. This is the muscle that pumps the blood of Black American commerce. I don’t doubt that it happens for real everywhere else as well, but Harlem has the Black people that most of you haven’t even met yet. This is the land of the Black Hebrew.

That is my ass on a shopping mission on 125th Street. Effing ‘House of Hoops’ wouldn’t honor the Foot Locker coupon either. I wanted to poop on that coupon. What stupid peanut butter and jelly shit is Foot Locker trying to play?

That shit in there was overpriced anyhoo. Ha! Foot Locker is killing the sneaker game instead of opening it up and letting that bitch breathe. That is why shit is called NIKE AIR bitches, but it don’t do anyone any good if you don’t let that shit breathe. Ya’ smell me?

Across the street was the Apollo theater. I have been to a whole bunch of places to hear music and to see people perform and the true story is that the Apollo is the best of all. The Apollo is better than Broadway, the Beacon Theater, Radio City and Carnegie Hall. The Apollo is smaller than all of those places too. So much so that you can actually hear the instruments themselves and less filtration from a sound board.

The crowd in front of the Apollo blew my mind. What the hell were all these Jewish people doing going into the Apollo on a Saturday NIGHT no less? I stood under the marquee amazed at what I was seeing. Jewish people put the big ‘W’ on white and these people were just hanging out and mingling like it was 2pm in SoHo. I made the mistake of asking two Black women who were apparently attending this event what the deal was (read: is this shit for fee?). They circled the wagons and told me something crazy.

What did they think? Do I look allergic to jazz? I was about to get into a convo with the sister when this tall Jewish dude, a t.I. if ever there was, asked if anyone neded a ticket. Nigga please?

I’ll take that.

Abraham Inc. presents A JAMES BROWN TRIBUTE
Socalled
Fred Wesley
David Kraukauer

featuring…

C-Rayz Walz

The J.B. tribute concert was organized by this Canadian Klezmer Hip-Hop artist, SoCalled. Klezmer music is like the gospel music for dudes from the Caucasus mountains. That fits perfectly into the tradition of the Apollo Theater and even in tribute to a soulful musical legend. Fools played instruments. Fools rapped on the microphones.

Hip-Hop music x Klezmer music. Shit had blue-eyed soul. Shit had straight hair funk.

A Hebrew comes to Harlem and instead of falling to the altar at the House of Hoops he hears the gospel of his roots.

Shalom bitches.

‘You Are Never Alone’

‘The 10 Plagues’ featuring Killah Priest and Bless