Archive for the ‘No Boutros Boutros… Ghali’ Category

Rappers Are The Young & The Restless…

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

rappers

Don’t you remember a few months ago when we finally decided that cRap music was the new WWE movement? Now all of a sudden the rap game has become a fucking soap opera (a novela para todos mis dominicanos on the threads). Nobody likes anybody anymore and everyone is sleeping with each other [ll].

Why won’t NaS give Kelis any bread? Is that baby his? Or is this one of those Usher situations where he is paying child support for some other dude’s seed? That shit happens in the cRap game more than we can even remember. Didn’t Diddy damn near raise Al B. Sure’s loin products while he was schtooping Kim Porter? Russell Simmons has his war baby daughters calling an African refugee daddy. Okay, maybe not.

Now what happened between Gucci Mane and Young Jeezy? I thought all these southern rappers stuck together to make crappy music? There was this myth that all these performers from Atlanta had enough love for the paper that they could put aside their differences to hop on a Rich Boy remix together. Except Shawty Lo and T.I. They aren’t really fuxing with each other right now.

They’re FRENEMIES

I thought that Young Jeezy didn’t fux with T.I. either, because Jeezy was CTE and T.I. was Grand Hustle? And who is BMF? Gucci Mane? Is Rick Ro$$ still Carol City or did he switch up to Lens Crafters because he likes shades so much. Don’t let me find out that Ro$$ is now SHC (Sunglasses Hut Cartel). I’m obviously not paying close enough attention to this cRap shit.

I need to know who is in jail right now. Is anyone keeping a scorecard at home? I’m glad that DMX is free again. When we would have slow news days around here at the XXL virtual offices X was always good for getting arrested for violating his probation. Whick reminds me… Where the hell is Jayceon Taylor? He hasn’t been arrested in a minute. In between all of this bullshit I keep spinning the new Mos Def album. Its dope and pushes up the level of discourse.

Mos Def isn’t exempt from the drama either. I see where he has challenged other cRappers to a pay-per-view cage match. Someone please send Mos the memo. Rappers are soap opera stars now. Instead of wrestling they’ll just be young and restless.

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

sfu

^ Not a winner.

In the hours after the Lakers had won their 15th NBA championship some of the fans in L.A. decided that they deserved to be winners too and proceeded to loot a vintage sneaker shop in the proximity of the Staples Center arena.

sfu
sfu

Now if that had been New York those fans wouldn’t have needed to steal their shoes because the deals that you find on an SFU NYC tour are almost like stealing. Except no one has to wear plastic cuffs when its all said and done, maybe a Livestrong bracelet, but no handcuffs.

sfu
sfu

DP, JaiSlayer and JaySkills for the win.

Rebirth Might Be Stillborn…

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

lil wang

The new trend for Lil’ Wang albums has been the pushback to the release date. Wasn’t the Carter III a year late? The Carter III was also a Grammy laden platinum album so if all the trends stay true to form ‘Rebirth’ will be another successful CD.

Contrary to most of you internets I fux with the ‘Prom Queen’ track. Sure it wasn’t anything that Led Zep or Pink Floyd would have produced but as far as Hip-Hop rock hybrid tracks are concerned it was better than anything Limp Bizkit ever out out, including ‘Nookie’ [ll].

I like the idea that Wang was going to make an auto-tune rock album. That shit hasn’t happened since Peter Frampton did that shit a thousand years ago. I don’t know how many rock fans will cross over to rap music but I bet a lot more rap music listeners will start to develop their ears for sound of shrill guitars. Rap listeners are generally more openminded than people that listen to other music anyhoo.

Rap music is such an amalgamation of diverse and disparate musical genres that rap fans can listen to almost any other form of music if someone puts a sick drum beat behind it. This is why rap music will be played in the future, even if it is wack shit from the Beastie Boys. James T. Kirk was blasting the Beasties before he ran his car off a cliff. BTW, go see Star Trek 2009 if you haven’t already.

So you all know I am no Lil’ Wang fan on this page, but right now in 2009 this dude is 2 for 2 on my scorecard. First was that ‘Prom Queen’ song and now is this ‘Ready For The World’ track. It’s not the Clash or progressive headbanging rock music but it is definitely serviceable rock rap when that subgenre has had the toughest time putting out music for the masses. I mean, there are my folks in Game Rebellion, but how much shit have they released to the web for people to review?

Lil’ Wang hasn’t gotten any better at writing profound lyrics that will last the test of time but he sure does have the emotive quality of someone that believes in the gibberish he is saying. That quality now counts for something in my mind. It’s almost like Wang regressed backwards mentally and he knows it and he’s trying to fight it, but then it gets too hard so he stops trying. I can relate to that. that is how I felt about college. If I had made a peer network maybe I might have graduated, maybe not though since I had a peer network in high school and I dropped out of there too.

The two songs I have heard from ‘Rebirth’ sound dope to me. Maybe the reason the album keeps getting pushed back is because these are the ONLY two songs completed. Lil’ Wang is lucky he isn’t an Aftermath artist. With this kind of output ‘Dre would shelve his album indefinitely (see: Rakim). I know Wang is touring his ass off and the what not but that is no longer an excuse to completing an album in this day and age. Music gets e-mailed back and forth like vocals do. Shit gets slapped together and yu don’t even realicze that none of the performers were ever in the studio at the same time.

What would be beautifully ironic would be the ‘Rebirth’ album being a DallasPenn certified classic while everyone else on the internets pans it vociferously. That could happen too. I loved ‘808s & Heartbreak’ while the majority of the internets shitted on that joint. I bet half them dudes play that shit to themselves every morning. The internets can be so emo. Just like Wang on this track…

When Men Were Men, And the Sheep Ran Scared…

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

blipster

The assault on manhood continues as the Black hipster, the blipster, is questioned about his sexuality.

Japanese men called herbivores eschew conspicuous consumerism, social interaction and women.

A lamb in New Zealand was born with seven legs and is a hermaphrodite.

What all of this means to me is that eating lamb from New Zealand could give a man lady tits, but eating salad in Japan is viewed as having lady parts and skinny jeans are still really only for the ladies.

Easy Like Sunday Morning…

Monday, June 15th, 2009

cj kids

Chocolate Snowflake has a side grind almost as crazy as my own. She make jewelry and travels around the city to different street fairs to sell her wares. That shit can be taxing when after you work a 9-2-5 week you work 12 hours a day on the weekends. That’s what this weekend was like for her. I did my Sneaker Fiends Unite! NYC tour on Saturday (shouts to JaiSlayer) and then I hung out with the wifey status on Sunday since her jewelry making partner flaked out.

I brought out my CHEA t-shirts and my I.C. DVD’s. None of which sold though. Being an iNternets Celebrity was a bit humbling on this afternoon in NYC. We were posted up on Bleecker Street in the West Village. I was hopeful that someone in the thousands of people that would stroll by us today would recognize me and buy something. Bupkus. I wasn’t disappointed however because I did get a visit from the homey Combat Jack who happened to be in the area with the wife and some of the kids.

cj kids

I needed to chop it up homeboy too. There’s talk that we are going to throw a barbecue on July 18th for the internets. Something just for the bloggers and those that read the blogs. I’m imagining that there will be some folks in town since the NYC leg of Rock The Bells is the following day on Sunday. With only a month to go we need to plan this event for serious. Combat Jack has crazy visions but we need to get some concrete shit in place if this joint is gonna happen.

In the meantime his kids just handled their business by being kids and looking cute. His daughter is an angel in the streets so she must be hell at home surrounded by boys who cater to her every whim. She was ordering me around too. His youngest son is my homey though. He was telling me the story about his girlfriend at school and how they share peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. I was iike “Whoa homeboy! Slow down with all that”. Brooklyn kids move fast though.

cj kids

Shit gets so real when you put kids into your cipher. C.S. and I love to travel, to dine out, to do our thinga-thing on a whim with no worries other than the fact that we might run out of cash. All that shit changes once you start making people. Either that or our grinds have to become supernatural. I might have to blackout on this blog shit and start posting advertisements from the armed forces.

So I salute all of y’all out here making more people.

That’s what we were put on this planet for in the first place.

Combat Jack, holler at me on some real shit about this barbecue.

cj kids