Archive for the ‘H.A.M.’ Category

Hilary Swank Is For The Kids…

Monday, October 26th, 2009

swanky

HILARY SWANK is one of my favorite actresses but I could swear she was 1/16th Black because of her features. That’s not why I digg her though. She is hot. She is like a hot tomboy who puts on makeup and then walks in the room and blows everyone away with her pizazz. Did I just say pizazz? You hotdamn right.

HILARY is catching some heat right now for an interview she made in which she admitted to being nude before her boyfriend’s 6yr old son. How lucky is this lil’ crumbsnatcher? I spend my every waking hour on the web searching for nude celebrity photos (females, natch) and HILARY SWANK is giving snatch shots to an audience that doesn’t even appreciate that goodness.

HILARY SWANK, I am giving you T-minus 10 seconds to walk nude in my dreams…

DP.COM MANNY WATCH…

Monday, October 26th, 2009

mannywood

Yankee fans got what they wanted in the playoffs so far. Ghey-Rod finally started to get some hits and the Yanks are back in the October November Fall Classic again. I really wanted the Yanks to play the Dodgers in the World Series but I suppose it is more poetic for the Yanks to match up against the MLB’s reigning champs.

For Mets fans next year began in June. I thought we only needed more pitchers but ass the season played out I realized that the Mets need more PLAYERS. I’m willing to deal Wright and Beltran for pitchers and draft picks. Those guys aren’t going to be getting any better. At least our current GM isn’t embroiled in an ugly sex scandal.

Former Mets GM Steve Phillips has gotten sloppy before and it cost him his job with the Mets. This time he fuxed up on Disney’s dime and you know the mouse doesn’t espouse anything that smacks family values in the face. The intern Phillips was reportedly digging out is named Brooke Hundley. I wonder if she has any relation to former Mets backstop Todd Hundley.

Mets fan shame runs deep, even in the off-season.

Blown Away By Black Dynamite…

Sunday, October 18th, 2009

black dynamite

GO SEE BLACK DYNAMITE IN THEATRES NOW!

‘Black Dynamite’ is all kinds of wrong funny.

There is definitely some shit I laughed at in this movie that God will be sending me to hell for. Even OG blaxploitation flicks weren’t this exploitative of the Blacks. This may be the reason I haven’t called this movie a classic. There are tons of laugh out loud moments throughout the movie and the themes they address are highlighted with humor, but in the end I was missing the big payback (no Richard Roundtree).

It’s not easy to parody stereotype without becoming that which you are mocking. ‘Black Dynamite’ reflects the cinema aesthetic for the 1970’s era so accurately that it almost becomes that itself. The problem with that is the fact that we are living in 2009 and the reality of those that view the film today will not be consistent with the people that watched a film like this in 1975. I like to laugh as much as anyone else, but I also need to be engaged with my eyes on the prize.

Doing parody is one of the most difficult tricks in the business of making comedy. You have to constantly remind the viewer that you are actively crafting the joke. Black Dynamite is a parody not just of the blaxploitation genre of movies but of the gangsta rap lifestyle and mindset that is now indelibly attached to Black culture. One of my favorite scenes is where the ensemble cast of actors and comedians does a rambling bit on African American numerical mysticism all the while inspiring Roscoe to sell chicken and waffles in his restaurant.

Black Dynamite is filled with wild action and homemade special effects all of which adds to the comedy. It felt like all the kung fu and crazy pimp flicks I had watched long ago. The movie’s writers and producers were definitely fans of the genre as well. You have to be an O.G. to catch some of their references. To a kid those will just be funny scenes but to some of us older fans we will remember the movie where we first saw that scene. Like I said earlier, parody is hard as hell especially with Black films because if you slip from the fine line you become baseless coonery.

Black Dynamite is a cross between I’m Gonna Git’ You Sucka and Original Gangstas. The laughs come fast and furious and sometimes at the expense of the storyline. I was hoping that Black Dynamite would be more like Bamboozled or the classic Black Hollywood experience parody film – Hollywood Shuffle. The fact that Black Dynamite falls short of the distinction of ‘classic’ doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth seeing, especially if you got a blunt of that good good beforehand.

Black Dynamite will tell you that even though drugs are fun they don’t belong in the hands of children.

I co-sign that message to the fullest.

Out of a 4 retahd rating sytem I give ‘Black Dynamite’ 3 retahds.

retahd

DP In Training…

Monday, October 12th, 2009

free drinks

I’m getting myself in shape for the College Music Journal week here in NYC in about 10 days or so. Tons of bands and performers. Mostly tons of free alcohol. I’ve been getting back into the obama swing so that my liver will be thoroughly moistened for the CMJ.

I go to so many obamas I should get a Nobel Peace Prize for all the hard work that my liver performs.

If you are in NYC for the CMJ make sure you reach out to me so that we can connect-politic-ditto at a few of the shows.

Faded Off The Brown Like Nino, We Know…

Friday, October 9th, 2009

dp

What is the magical allure that Hennessy holds for Black folks? It is our glory and our downfall. You see what the Henroc did to our homey ‘Ye Tudda at the VMAs? And still we flock to the brown for our salvation.

When I have kids before I hold them up to the stars for my ancestors to view I will baptise them crumbsnatchers with some Henny on their foreheads.

The spirits were in full effect Wednesday night for this event called Hennessy Artistry curated by the Roots and Common. Hennessy is the slave song spiritual syrup. Do you understand now why they call liquor spirits?

white

I had to take a pic of white dudes at a Hennessy event. It’s like seeing brothers chilling at a Pabst Blue Ribbon party.

homegirl

Hennessy enabled homegirl to tie that bowtie… With her mouth.

roots

The legendary got down to business. I’ve declared previously that Black Thought is the number one emcee dead or alive. Thought moved the show along from performer to performer seamlessly creating hype and excitement as he set the stage for each unexpected guest.

Thanks to Hennessy the Roots actually performed in front of Black people for a change.

colin munroe

Gingerboy crooner Colin Munroe showed he got soul.

bilal

Bilal was taking the sisters to church. This brother better be careful too because one of the big girls up in that joint might could’a snatched his little narrow ass up and used him for a tampon.

On second thought, that’s prA’li all Bilal ever wanted.

q-tip

It was fun to see Tip do some ATCQ classics. Good thing Common and Black Thought were on the mics also to help Tip remember his rhymes

latifah

U.N.I.T.YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

The Queen of rap tore the house down. I haven’t seen Queen Latifah perform in a thousand years(Naughty era). She is totally what the game is missing and by that I mean her incredible talent on the mic.

Not so much to her Sapphic skills.

The spirits were flowing freely and the full cipher of Hip-Hop was represented at the Hennessy Artistry event. Even Hip-Hop curmudgeon Ernie P. can’t be mad at that. Then again, I’m sure that Ernie P. could hate on a childbirth.

Log on to www.Rule4080.com for more pics and video clips from this dope event.