Archive for the ‘Billy Sunday @ XXL’ Category

Five Bands To Fucks With When You Ain’t Fucking With Rap Music…

Tuesday, August 9th, 2011

the clash

In case you didn’t know, BILLY SUNDAY grinds for the Evil Empire.

I try not to subscribe to the simple minds that view music through the prism of color. It’s always coded racism which is ultimately coded supremacism. Avoiding this is proving as difficult as walking down the street and not seeing any signage for McDonald’s or Starbucks. I mean, what exactly is white music. What exactly is Black music and most importantly, who the fuck cares?!? They only people that need to make a distinction are the nazis and klansmen who can’t enjoy themselves in diverse settings. The best experiences I’ve had listening to live music were in crowds that looked like auditions for Benetton ads. I saw NaS and the Roots perform live inside a park in New York City (not on the same day), in both instances the crowd was a veritable we are the world of ethnicity and so called race. I’d also like to add that the so called white cats were the only ones that let me hit their blunt too. White dudes always be holding that piffy piff. Anyhoo…

Bol raised the issue the other day that many of you so called Black people have trouble identifying the paradigm of so called white music. It’s not your fault Black man, it’s a white thing, you wouldn’t understand it. I figured I should create a short list to help some of you cats that are stuck on stupid add some new shit to your iPods. Do yourself a favor and buy this shit too since I don’t want the RIAA kicking in the door to your momma’s basement because you are downloading some Elton John and the whatnot. Keep in mind that white don’t play when it comes to his paper. You see how they did Drama? And they LIKED Drama. Your ass will be going under the jailhouse.

The Police – Not the real police that shot Sean Bell you dumbasses, the group whose lead singer is a seventy yr. old sex addict. Back in the day The Police were like the best ska band evar. Their drummer is talented as fuck and Sting and the other dude on rhythm guitar weren’t too bad either. For all you hopeless Hip-Hop heads The Police have a few songs that have been sampled be some of your favorite rappers. Check out the song ‘Roxanne’. The guitar strums were used on what might be Cam’Ron’s greatest track.

Kraftwerk – This band of crazy Germans gave birth to the techno craze. Except when they did it the shit sounded cool and not so teh ghey. Afrika Bambaataa was a big fan of their music and he sampled them for some of his epic classic B-boy jams. Timbaland is also a huge fan of their sound and if knowing that makes you not want to listen to these dudes then you are really missing out on some hot shit.

Sonic Youth – This band is far from young but they are innovators of music that has been impossible to define from the outset. Their not official punk rockers although I saw them perform at CBGB’s alongside straight edge punk band Fugazi. They certainly aren’t new wave because they’re far too edgy and they aren’t grunge either since they don’t commit suicide. They’re just a bunch of indie rockers who fucked up by being indie rockers before there was an indie rock scene. Sonic Youth still did their thing as alternative rock goes but I thought these dudes should have been bigger news than Nirvana. I also wish Hip-Hop parties had real mosh pits so that some of the frustrations that rap fans have with their lives could be expressed during the thirty minutes that you bounce off people.

Red Hot Chili Peppers – Don’t get it twisted, despite all the glitter and constant rotation in the MTV networks these dudes can get down. They might even be more true to the O.G. Hip-Hop aesthetic than most of the people performing that shit right now, especially cats from the south. Hell yeah they spit fire about parties and bullshit, but they also make joints about drugs, love, the price of fame, the loss of family and yeah, drugs. Someone told me that my real problem with Hip-Hop is the lack of balance that the commercialized music eschews. Whoever said that was right. These niggas got balance, and they got game. I still fucks with ‘Californification’. Word to Rick Rubin.

The Clash – I put The Clash on my list for greatest musical band of all time along with the WU and P.E. The reason The Clash was so fucking dope to me is because they were in the forefront of spitting about class struggle and racism. These dudes were taking on the British government like it was nothing. They came to New York and they saw Hip-Hoppers in Harlem and the Bronx do their thing with all forces against them and it inspired their music. Rock critics call them a punk rock band, but I consider them to be Hip-Hop’s first band. They performed with a graffiti drenched curtain as their backdrop. The Clash represented the streets and their only desire was that everyone be given equal treatment and equal protection under the law. A theme like that is nothing new for the so called Black band Bad Brains. That’s heavy shit when it’s being posited by a so called white band.

Hip-Hop’s Bible Is Back From Hell…

Saturday, June 18th, 2011

Combat Jack got me a placement in the latest The Source magazine. Forget all those articles I wrote for that Next Level magazine, this right here is what I am considering to be my first official piece.

It’s about the history of the Super Soaker which turned 20 this year. Did you know a Black dude had invented these joints? Here’s to hoping that Combat Jack can get me some more placements before its all said and done.

Pick up a copy of The Source and help support my sneaker acquisitions. Thank you.

Do The XXL Freshmen Ever Graduate?

Sunday, February 27th, 2011

xxl freshmen

XXL magazine’s annual Freshmen cover always generates some controversy and discussion. The big argument with this year’s freshmen crop is that Yelawolf is now featured on two consecutive cover stories. Isn’t this is what pop culture does with their artists tho’? Cramming them down your throat whether you fux with them or not.

XXL magazine has officially become the Tiger Beat magazine for the Hip-Hop set. Shaun Cassidy was mentioned or pictured on almost every cover of that rag for several years.

tiger beat

The real question I have is how good is XXL at supporting the artists they say have next? Some of these freshmen end up being dropouts (no KanYe Tudda). Like I mean dropping out of the scene altogether. When is the last time you heard mention of Ace Hood?

I figured we could take a quick look at XXL’s past freshmen and review their GPA to see if these dudes are still taking ’em to school or have they been left back.

Freshmen class of 2008

joell ortiz Joell Ortiz – One of the anchors of rap supergroup SlaughterHouse with two(2) albums completed. Joell Ortiz leads the future wave of NYC emcees

Crooked I – Another SlaughterHouse spitter who knows how to keep his name hot.
Saigon – Releasing his debut album ‘Greatest Story Never Told’
Rich Boy

Lupe Fiasco – Preparing his third LP: ‘Lasers’ and possibly carrying weed for Pharell
Lil Boosie
Gorilla Zoe

Young Dro – Hanging out a lot with underclassman Vado and wearing Polo

Freshmen class of 2009

cudi Kid Cudi – Holding KanYe’s best weed has helped him make that spaceship music

Wale – At least Rick Ross fux with him musically
B.o.B. – Grammy nominated which can also mean seriously overrated
Charles Hamilton – Still in school and sadly no one really cares
Asher Roth
Cory Gunz

Blu – prA’li the best rapper in this class but still needing that “push”
Mickey Factz – Making car commercials
Ace Hood
Curren$y – People love his ‘Pilot Talk’ mixtapes, but I’m waiting for him to really blow [ll]

Freshmen class of 2010

j cole J Cole – So much potential but does he have the work ethic?

Nipsey Hu$$le – A movement all by himself
Wiz Khalifa – The breakout star of this class
OJ Da Juiceman
Freddie Gibbs
Big Sean
Jay Rock

Freshmen class of 2011

lil b Lil’ B – His movement is already XXXXXXXXL without even being on this rag’s cover. XXL needs him to still be legitimate to a youth dominated demographic

Fred The Godson
Meek Mill
Mac Miller
Cyhi The Prynce
Kendrick Lamar
Lil’ Twist
Diggy Simmons
Big K.R.I.T.

The Freshmen Get A Dean…

Thursday, April 1st, 2010

cam vado

Has the XXL mag franchise been in decline since Elliott Wilson left? Sure, but so has every Hip-Hop print magazine and mega-online Hip-Hop entity. I’m not saying that everyone over at XXL is a bum, because that isn’t the case (Byron Crawford), but I should send a kite to my people over there and tell them to fux with that Antenna imprint instead because it’s really more in the essence of Hip-Hop on a higher level. Shouts to the editor-in-chief Vanessa Satten who cursed me the fux out lastnite at the XXL Freshmen showcase. She lost about 1000lbs and got herself a nice little hairstyle. She looks downright effin’ smashable now so if the mag folds their tent maybe she can get her stacks up via the Kat Stacks economic system.

Sheeeeid, I’ve got five on it.

The XXL Freshmen 10 show was for XXL mag to make up some ground for their floundering magazine. XXL contracted Cam’Ron to headline knowing that Cam would bring along his newest protege Vado. This move also allowed XXL to save face and reconnect to the home of Hip-Hop since their magazine has kind’a sort’a forgotten about what happens here in New York City. By all stretches of the imagination the event appeared to be a success. The Highline Ballroom, NYC’s premiere Hip-Hop staging venue, was packed to the rafters, and not just with the usual allotment of industry shitbags(I regretfully include myself in that grouping), but with people who actually bought tickets to the show.

The Highline Ballroom isn’t a small space and I was impressed by how quickly it filled up. The energy was high early on so that usually forecasts a memorable night. What up to VeE from Scritch and Scratch? Your boy Shakespeare hollered at me and we politicked for a few. He’s good peoples. Paul ‘Gooch’ Cantor came thru also. If you want a barometer for how big an event is you can use Gooch who leaves his house for NOTHING. Just as the party was getting underway I had to leave the space and roll with Timeless Truth to NYU’s ‘Halftime Radio’ program. The word is getting out there about The ‘Lo-End Theory and some of the artists that will be doing there thing. I’m going to have to step up my game hardbody tho’ to equal the energy that XXL put into this event.

cam vado

When I got back to the Highline after the radio show the crowd outside of the building was looking as big as the amount of people who were inside earlier. These were the folks who couldn’t get in [ll]. When people can’t get into the building and the list is closed then you know it’s a party. Thankfully I am known to Highline’s security at this point so I didn’t have to go thru changes to get back inside. I was just in time to catch Nipsey Hu$$le’s set. I don’t see how XXL can regard Nipsey Hu$$le as a freshman. I mean, dude is fresh, but he has been grinding for a minute and he isn’t new to anyone who fux with 2DopeBoyz for any length of time. Nipsey, Pac Div, U-N-I and a host of Cali acts have been doing their thing. The homey Diz Gibran could have used that Nipsey slot in the Freshmen 10 list.

It was still sketchy as to whether or not Cam’Ron was going to appear but my dude from XXL(yes, there are still chill MF’s there) let me know that he was setting shit up for Cam to come out. When Cam got on the stage the place erupted. That was a real nice feeling to be in the crowd and sing Cam lyrics with several hundred people. Vado, Cam’s newest jewel(no Juelz) was razor sharp too. They shut down the event properly. It was hype to see Cam play the role of hypeman for Vado. You could tell that Cam was really feeling Vado’s verses. The same applied for Vado when Cam did his mini-montage of joints. Always the showman, Cam’Ron loves to leave the people wanting for more.

XXL may not be able to make a competent list, but they sure as hell know how to throw a party.

ThunderDome >>> SuperHead…

Friday, December 4th, 2009


^ Not THE ThunderDome, but something like her.

I posted some updates on TWitter awhile back that rap music needed another superstar video vixen and why hadn’t some young, ready and able starlet adopted the nickname ‘ThunderDome’? Since SuperHead is off writing books now or what have you. It made me recall the story of a chick who rocked my world so hardbody I had to decline getting BJs from her lest she convert me into the Black Adam Lambert. For the sake of this drop we shall call her ThunderDome.

I met ThunderDome at the City-As-School academy in lower Manhattan. City-As-School was an alternative high school for the kids who weren’t able to go to normal high schools for a variety of reasons. I could say that we were all hopped up on the drug NYC and once you got the Big Apple’s horse in your veins you would nod off in a normal school setting. Most days you sat in a semi-circle for a few periods and talked about the things you got into around the city. I was assigned a jobsite location where I would work and receive class credit for that. I was placed into the showroom of a fabric dealer who supplied high end furniture manufacturers with upholstery covering. That shit made no gotdamn sense to me until I started working for the rabbi and I saw how he would source those materials for his clients.

ThunderDome was in my class and she was as fine as hell. She was built like a Amazon brick shithouse and she was only 16yrs old. I used to make her laugh along with the rest of the class because that was my true occupation – class clown. George Carlin does a bit about being a class clown and he describes my pathos to a tee. ThunderDome and I were cool but we didn’t connect past our classroom. I was into my shit primarily which consisted of running around the city stealing anything that wasn’t nailed down. ThunderDome was into her own lifestyle as well. I got a kiss from her on the lips when the school year ended but I didn’t have any way of acting on that gesture and truth be told is that I was still a virgin. I didn’t see ThunderDome again for several years and I never forgot her kiss. Come to find out that I had left my thumbprint on her heart also.

I want to say the year is 1990 or 1991 but I will need one of my NBA gurus to nail down the year that Jayson Williams graduated from St.John’s and was drafted by Phoenix. Williams was having a draft party at this forgotten nightspot called MK. It was a beautifully ornate bank building that was retrofitted into the swankiest of swank nightclubs. As you can imagine the bar was wide open. I have been going to obamas since the late 1980s and Michael St.Michael was the queen of the doormen. I prA’li dapped Jayson Williams. I know I gave a big hug to my nig McNasty Conrad McRae. He and Jayson were tight. It was like a Riverside Hawks Gauchos reunion up in that piece and the ladies in the building were on that same level.

There are different grades of ladies that follow the ballers just like there are stratified levels of players. Some ladies are like that dude that was nice but he never made it off the ‘hood park courts. Then there were the ladies that were like the college star who didn’t get the call up to the bigtime. These ladies are the chicks who got too hot, too fast. Their stars burned out quickly. Then there was the groupie that was a pro level thoroughbred. She had the thighs, calves and proportions that screamed first round pick. That was your girl ThunderDome. Wouldn’t you know that she spotted me up in the party and asked me what I was doing there? I let her know I was still getting around the city. Actually, I was selling cocaine in the clubs but that isn’t the kind of detail you volunteer.

When I tell you that ThunderDome was a fine woman… I’ve been fortunate in my travels to have known some badass chicks but this woman is the GOAT, mainly because she stood like a goat. Stacked to the max is what the OGs would say to describe her. If there was one thing I was good at it would be to play that role and I was on some stunting shit this night. You would laugh at how I can act like the fool who bought out the bar. I held her ears hostage for the rest of the party telling jokes and talking drunkard shit. I told ThunderDome she was coming home with me. She gave me that look like I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I thought I did, but I was wrong. ThunderDome was about to put my shoes on a spaceship. We left MK and took a cab to Queens. I was in the cab making out with her trying to put my tongue on her lips. This is when ThunderDome stuck her tongue in my mouth and down my throat. Her tongue penetrated the holes in my gums where my recently extracted wisdom teeth used to sit.

If I had any wisdom I would have just payed for her cabfare to the Bronx but I had wanted to taste this woman from since I was 16 and I wasn’t about to let this chance slip through my fingers. My second floor flat was empty for the night. My roommate Polotron was off somewhere on his shit so that meant we could romp through the whole apartment. We got into it the second we entered the flat. ThunderDome was equipped with some of my favorite fetishes at the time. She had these big dinner plate areolas and her nipples looked like penciltip erasers. ThunderDome was the first chick I ever saw shaved completely on her snatch. It totally resembled a peach down there. I had my face all the way in too. My mission was to wear her labia like a ski cap and use the lips to tie around my jaw like a chinstrap. My tongue was a wandering that night and I was hungry like the wolf.

Now with all of our kissing, sucking and rassling I somehow ended up on my back. ThunderDome did some coy shit like nibbled on my flank and stuck her tongue in my bellybutton. But when she brought her face onto my manhood that is when she started to change my world. She got at me like you see it go down in the pr0n flicks. This never ever happened to me before. Yes I’ve had my dick sucked you clowns. No I never had anyone toungue kiss my taint. I don’t even know what that shit is but ThunderDome knows what the fux it is and how it works. The rest of this drop is gonna be some of the realest shit I ever wrote on this page. ThunderDome grabbed my asscheeks and spread them open then she put her tongue in my dootchute. That shit made me make some kind of crazy noise like a dinosaur wearing a helicopter backpack. Its hard to describe suffice to say I was being freaked out.

ThunderDome had to be exhilarated by my yelling because she went into my butt even more with her tongue. That shit was crazy. First figuratively, then literally. This wild broad stimulated my prostate so mean that I had an involuntary deuce come down. It wasn’t a full log but it was a turtlehead. The illest part is that she kept on sucking my dick. Oh my fuxing God. This woman is crazy, and I am loving it. I got up off the bad and pulled off the sheet. I wiped my ass with the bedsheet and then I climbed on top of ThunderDome and proceeded to gorilla dagger her pussy. I can’t front to y’all either when I tell you that I kissed her in the mouth. Yes, the inside part of her filthy, nasty, dirty, beautiful, gorgeous mouth.

When I got up off her to climax she nearly tackled me just to receive in her mouth. Oh my fuxin’ God. ThunderDome was righteously nasty and freaked out I just had to stare at her for what must have been an hour. I wasn’t appalled in as much as I was aghast. I just had some real live pr0n movie shit happen to me in real life. You couldn’t tell me I wasn’t that dude right then. Forget whoever got this treatment from her before me because when you think about that shit later on you might could realize I wasn’t her first assmunch. I came to understand later that ThunderDome was a busy woman. She saw me playing that role of a go-getter and that is why she tried me out.

When I woke up the next morning to go to work for the rabbi ThunderDome had already left. The only proof that I hadn’t been having a freaky drunken dream was the shitty sheet on the bedroom floor. I had a hundred dollars and some loose grams in my jeans pocket from the previous night. I could have sworn I had more money than that when I realized that a little yard was a small price to pay for the experience that I had. For the rest of the summer I saw ThunderDome at various club and industry parties and if I had some trap on me that I didn’t mind blowing (puns always intended here at I would spend it on her. I never let her eat my ass again tho’. That shit was too fuxin’ good. You don’t want to get accustomed to that shit tho’. I’m sure many a motherfuxer has been turned out by ThunderDome. I knew well enough to stay in my lane this time so at least I wouldn’t have to throw away any more sheets.