PEDRO MARTINEZ didn’t return to the Mets in time to same my fantasy baseball squad from being mired in mediocrity, but his return might just be the medicine that heals the reeling Metropolitans.
The Mets haven’t been the dominant National League team that I expected them to be when the season began. Sure CARLOS BELTRAN, JOSE REYES and DAVID WRIGHT are All-Stars, but the rest of the team lack the fire that you see with champion clubs. I think that PEDRO MARTINEZ is more than simply one of the best pitchers of all time, but a presence inside of the clubhouse that motivates younger players and relaxes veterans.
He’s also the lynchpin of the DP Dot Com retirement portfolio. If I don’t sell some of these gotdamned t-shirts I may end up eating ALPO instead of Libby’s corned beef hash (some would argue that they are one in the same, but the Libby’s price point is higher and taste better. Trust me). This is where y’all come in.
By purchasing a DP Dot Com ‘Vote For Pedro’ t-shirt you will be contributing to my 2040 presidential campaign. I figure by that time this country will be ready to elect a formerly cocaine addicted alcoholic, who just happens to be Black. Your contribution of twenty dollars will allow DP Dot Com to continue to operate as a watchdog for social justice and fashion trends (read: pay my monthly Optimum Online bill). I have only three(3) ‘Vote For Pedro’ shirts left in stock. They are all sized XXL, and I’m not talking about the magazine.
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DP Dot Com Political Advisor I’d buy one to support Dallas Penn. Hell, I’d buy two and sew them together so that I could wear it. If I used to smoke crills, and now I’m considered mainstream, why can’t Dallas Penn make it to the White House? |
