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Editor’s note: This S.F.U. drop is from longtime DP Dot Commenter, now Com-tributor – GRANDMASTER.

To the DP Dot Com faithful, the addicts, and fiends,

I know Dallas’s dunk game reigns supreme, but if there’s one thing that he’s been holding out on us all has been the SB line of Dunks, so I thought I’d come through and just spread the love out some[||].

After months(maybe years) of reading Dallas’ drops about sneakers, I decided to follow in his footsteps*, and go outside of the box* (*puns most definitely intended). I started naming my kicks after whatever I felt like calling them. Eff some NIKE businessman for telling me what to think about shoes I paid for with money I couldn’t afford to spend.

In my arrogant ass opinion, Dunk SB’s are the most comfortable shoes Nike puts out. Some people, especially the Europeans and Asians, prefer Air Maxes (360’s, 90’s, and 95’s mainly), but I claim this shoe as the pinnacle. Regular orange-boxed Dunks are basically retro basketball shoes, but the Dunk SB’s take a boxy shoe and beef up the padding to make them suitable for skateboarding.

The late comedian Mitch Hedberg once said some real words: “I don’t have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade. I could just be a thirsty dude.” Paraphrasing his logic, I don’t have to give two deuces about a kick flip to be wearing SB’s; I could just need some fresh, comfortable shoes. And it’s not hard to notice that (a) Nike spends some real development time on the colorways for this shoe, and (b) the padding that helps suicidal skateboarders not crack their shit open also makes them more comfortable to rock on the regular.

I’ve recently been wearing a lot of high-tops, because it’s been getting colder than your momma out here in New Haven and, seeing as how I pretty much only rock ankle socks, that part of my leg between my pants and my shoes has been getting froze off. For that reason, I copped this pair of SBs.

This pair of SB Dunk Highs are officially called the ‘Skateboard Pack – Deck’ Dunk His, They’re part of a three-pack of Dunk SBs that are supposed to represent the three major parts of a skateboard. There’s the ‘Grip Tape’ Dunk mids, the ‘Deck’ Dunk his, and a to-be-released pair of ‘Truck’ Dunk lows.

But whenever I slip these on in the morning, I like to call them the ENDOR FOREST COMMANDO SB Dunk Highs. See, like most 70s-80s babies out there who grew up as nerdy as JALEEL WHITE (and for some of y’all who didn’t), I grew up on a steady diet of Yoda, Luke Skywalker, and dreaming about one day having a shorty with a cinnamon-bun-roll-looking hairdo. This shoe takes all the concentrated badassery of the forest guerilla battle of the third movie (eff what GEORGE LUCAS has to say about a prequel trilogy, Episodes IV-VI are the truth) and distills it into my footwear of choice. Good thing I was real young when I first saw that movie, too, or I might be catching feelings about Ewoks like I did Jar Jar Binks, but that’s another story.

These shoes are officially a “Tweed/Classic Green” colorway, but that doesn’t even describe the half of it. These aren’t just any SB Dunks. They’re Premiums baby, because of the use of a special print leather combined with premium materials. The entire rear panel of the shoes are covered in a special leather printed all over with a wood grain pattern only seen in one super-limited dunk low before (the MICHAEL LAU Dunk low, only available at one Nike event in Hong Kong), while the entire upper and side panels are composed of some real buttery-soft, suede-feeling material.

These joints also have one of the biggest bonuses in my book – non-white midsoles and cupsoles. There is nothing that I hate more than popping open a new pair of kicks, wearing them once to class and back to my place, then finding half of my city stuck between the tread. Well, that will still happen with these joints, except you won’t notice it because of the darker colored bottom cupsole. [||].

Anyways, the “Classic Green” swoosh and stitching reminds me of some kinds of crazy jungle plants, plus Luke’s green lightsaber, the wood panel printed leather in the back looks just like some old growth forests or trees, and the mixed brown uppers look a lot like the forest camouflage that everyone’s favorite Rebels was rocking in the backwoods.

That’s enough for today. But yo, you don’t even know about my own little Transformers pack that I been putting together on the side. Maybe some day Dallas will let me put you all on to my Bumblebee Dunk highs and Megatron Air Force III highs…

–GRAND MASTER