Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

SOUL SLAM X: MICHAEL JACKSON vs. PRINCE

Friday, August 31st, 2007

soul slam

KeiStar Productions is doing it big this weekend for the Labor Day holiday!

Sunday 9/2 in Brooklyn’s Sugar Factory.

DJ Spinna does his thing called the Soul Slam: Michael Jackson vs. Prince

Spinning hits from everyone connected to these two icons – Morris Day & The Time, The Jackson 5, Janet, Jermaine, Vanity, Appolonia, A Tribe Called Quest, J Dilla, crazy good music all nite.

The Sugar Factory
269 Kent Avenue
btwn South 1st and South 2nd Streets, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
10pm – 4am

http://www.myspace.com/keistarproductions

HELLZ BELLZ Makes Me Wish I Was A Chick…

Friday, August 31st, 2007

hellz bellz

Editor’s note: [||] to this entire drop from GABEROCKKA.

Fellas… Have you ever seen a line of womens clothes, that were so dope, so fresh, so well designed that it almost made you wish you were a chick just so you could rock it and be the best dressed female around? No? Uhhh… Me neither.

Hellz Bellz always just seemed like a clothing line that had pictures of guns made out of bananas, and Minny Mouse wearing a bandanna. Recently I started seeing a new girl. She’s not into streetwear per se, but she loves the way I dress and seems really eager to go shopping with me and see what kind of womens wear can be found at the stores in which I shop. Liking the idea of having a girl I could both have sex with AND talk about clothes with, I started doing some research on womens streetwear lines. Married to the Mob didn’t really do much for me, and Hellz Bellz is the only other womens streetwear company I know, so I checked out the Hellz Bellz website, and their Fall collection is the truth (for females).

They’ve grown up out of the strictly tee’s phase of their development, and some of their new pieces show a real sophistication and maturing in terms of their designs. These are some clothes I would love to see on the floor next to my girls bed. Hell, I might even be weary of ripping them off and throwing them across the room like I normally do with her clothes. Picture me getting up out of bed in the heat of passion to hang my girls shirt up in the closet… That right there is some heat for them ass cheeks. And Jay-Z stays winning.

hellz bellz

‘Ye Tudda Goes ‘Back To The Future’…

Thursday, August 30th, 2007

mcflys

The McFlys are about to drop…

What if I told you that KanYe West’s new album was from the future? Would you even believe me? Or would you accuse me of hyperbolic Stanism? Would you tell me that I was paid to write that, or would you say that I had become a ‘Ye Tudda dickrider [ll]. One of you is likely to say one, or all of these things by the end of this drop. Well anyhoo, here it is real quick. If you don’t copp ‘Graduation’ on September 11th you should prah’lee just go kill yourself. Go huff a gallon of paint, stick a hooker’s bedazzled stiletto in your eye socket and put you head in your momma’s oven. Kill yourself because you are killing Hip-Hop.

The new ‘Ye Tudda album is a soulful spaceship that is built to take you away from the knowledge that your credit is all fucked the fuck up, your car got repo’d and your rent is a month late. It’s the type of shit to make you want to get to your job an hour early, and your job sucks. It’s definitely drugs. You would agree with me if you had the experience that I just did while listening to the entire album previewed in a blacked out theatre. I walked out of the theatre realizing that some people come from the future to try to help us all get back there with them.

Let me go back into the past for a second… Several years ago I sat in the audience for a taping of the Def Poetry show. The host, Mos Def, introduced KanYe West as the “future of Hip-Hop”. What?!? Nigga please! This rap cat was part of the Roc-A-Fella movement and he wasn’t really even a rapper, but a producer. He recited his verse from ‘The Wire’. At the time what I didn’t know about this dude was that he was really all fucked up behind that car accident, but his resolve to rise above it was that much greater. So much so that he would do anything he had to do to become a success in the industry. There is nothing in the game worth more than a monster work ethic. Any game. When you add talent to that work ethic you go from being an important role player, like a Dennis Rodman, into a superstar, like Michael Jordan. KanYe West is the Michael Jordan of this rap shit, because he makes the dudes that play with him[ll] into superstars. Just look at the music he gave Jigga and Cam’Ron. He did for Common what Dilla couldn’t do. Would anyone even care about Lupe, Rhymefest or Cons without their association with ‘Ye Tudda?

Fast forward to the present, which actually requires me to rewind since it happened yesterday, but just stay with me. Shouts to my homeys at ThnkTank Marketing, whose peoples at SOHH (the competition at XXL Mag Dot Com) extended the notice to me of the ‘Ye Tudda listening experience. The RSVP on the flier was deaded days ago. There was no way I was going to win on this one. Oh well, I guess I would just grab an order of wings and fried rice and come back to my apartment and watch some cartoons. But wait, I know some people. And they know some other people. Shouts to FB and H.O. who have this online video shit OnSmash. And with my nigga Young Pistol in the building I was on the list bitches. Not only do I get to hear the most anticipated album of the year, but on Universal Music’s dime which included top shelf open bar free popcorn and some of the sexiest Blasian broads interning in the music business (Sony BMG show me what you got). I came to the spot twisted already after puffing some that *cough, cough* you already know. Kids, drugs are bad (in a Mr. Mackey voice), but when you are zoning out to music, it is all good.

As the music starts inside the theatre a smoke machine propels billows through the room. The light show was crazy, while clips from 2001: A Space Odyssey, Akira, Sailor Moon and motherfucking Tron videos played on the screen. If ‘Ye Tudda could deliver these visuals along with his CD it would already be game over. The music though is what I came for. There are some tracks on the album that are just ridiculous. The best was saved for last. The song ‘Big Brother’ was a tribute to Jay-Z that was serious, heartfelt and deep. It was the defining moment of the album without question. It made me realize how deep the bonds were that had brought everyone on the Roc label together. The experiences of traveling the world the first time will never be replaced. ‘Ye Tudda still has love for Jay, Dame and everyone from the Roc, but now he is moving on.

‘Graduation’ might be ‘Ye Tudda’s most soulful album ever. He’s created so many fucking anthems on this album it’s bananas. The ingredients seem to be mixing soul music with content from the soul. It’s not possible not to feel this nigga [ll]. I told you ‘Big Brother’ was the crowning achievement. You already know ‘Can’t Tell Me Nothing’ is a realer theme song than ‘I Get Money’. At least for me it is. “La, la, la, la, wait ‘til I get my money right.” You gonna fucks with the joints ‘Drunk and Hot Girls’, ‘Champion’ and ‘Everything I Am’. My favorite joint was called ‘Flashing Lights’, and embarrassingly enough in the Q & A afterwards KanYe said that was the song for the ladies. Ouch! Well, I know a hit when I hear one, and that shit is the pop. I was a little disappointed at first to know that the album had no skits, but ultimately that is what made the joint dope too. It’s all soul music. No poorly acting rappers or rappers acting poor. This might be one of the realest albums ever made. It’s also worth my sixteen bucks or whatever it is the Virgin Megastore is going to charge my ass. Funny story, true story is that the last album I was this amped to buy before it hit the shelves was ‘Get Rich Or Die Trying’.

GABEROCKKA GOES ALL IN… DAVE’s QUALITY MEAT

Wednesday, August 29th, 2007

DQM

My first experience at Daves Quality Meat, NYC…

I don’t want to make any powerful enemies in the NYC sneakerhead scene, so I’d like to preface this drop by saying that I realize and acknowledge that DQM is one of the most respected sneaker boutiques in New York City, and the U.S. My experience was just one experience, of one person, on one day, and is in no way meant to me a thorough review of the store. Dave’s Quality Meat is referred to in sneaker collecting circles as DQM and they came to prominence after a collaboration with Nike on a pair of Air Max 90’s. These joints are affectionately known as the DQM Bacons. A pair of these will run you several hundred bucks so don’t even think about it. When Nike debuted the ‘One Time Only’ package I copped the Air Max 95/360’s that matched the Bacon’s colorways.

DQM Bacons

Thursday is payday, and for a fiend like me, that means Thursday is copp some new gear day. I made a plan to meet up with Dallas after work so we could hit up DQM, as neither of us had ever been there. I wanted to go in the store with a purpose, so I checked their website to browse their stock and pick the kicks I was going to cop. I narrowed it down to two that were both marked as in stock on their site; the Air Max 90/360 hybrid in the Black Lava/Midnight Fog/Chlorine Blue colorway, and the new P-Rod/Free 5.0 hybrid being referred to as the ‘Free-Rod’.

Free Rod

Dallas was chilling at a free concert at City Hall Park so I got to the store before him and did my rounds. The first thing I noticed was that the Free-Rod was not up on the shelves, so I asked the guy behind the cash register if they had them. “We don’t have em” was his curt response. Now these shoes were added to their website two days ago, and if you go to their site, on the first page is a picture of these sneakers marked ‘Recently Added’, so I felt that it was a valid question for me to ask whether they had just not received their shipment yet, or if they were sold out. He looked at me like I had just asked him the stupidest question he had ever heard, and half mumbled “sold out”. Okay, so they didn’t have my first choice, but now let me look for the AM 90/360’s. These were also not on the shelves, so I went back to the cash register counter and I said, “there was also a pair of Air Max 90/360 Hybrids up on your site…” He rudely interrupted me, “Look, if it’s not on the shelves that means we don’t have it, okay?”

He was a dick, plain and simple. Reading about DQM in the past, one of the aspects of the store that their loyal supporters gushed about was how friendly the staff were, and how there was none of that elitist ‘we’re too cool to need your business’ attitude you experience at sneaker and streetwear boutiques, record shops, and other places where the staff act like they’re better than you because they earn minimum wage at a really “cool” store. I did not find this to be true at all. On the contrary, the guy that I dealt with there was acting like such a rude elitist prick, that it almost seemed like he was trying to scare away potential customers who were n00b-ish enough to dare to ask if they had something in stock.

What did they have in stock? Well they did NOT have the Free-Rod’s or AM 90/360’s their site claimed were in stock. They also did not have the AM 90 ‘Wheat Skulls’, AM 90 ‘Elmers Glue’, The ‘Nikebook’ dunk hi’s, or the ‘Navy/Neon/Silver’ AM 90’s – all of which are listed as in stock on their website. They had a shit load of Vans, a ton of Nike SB Blazers, some of the less appealing/less desirable colorways of dunk hi’s. As far as Air Max’s go, they had all of the recent crop of ugly colorway Air Max 1’s, the Major Taylor 90’s, and those busted white 90’s with the square polka dots. Not all that much else.

I left empty-handed, and feeling like unless they release another Tier 0 joint like the Bacon, I can’t imagine that I would have a reason to go there again. I guess it’s a good place to get Quickstrike Nike’s, but I would never go off information on their website again, and I hope that the staff is not usually as rude as the guy I encountered.

DQM Store Review
Pros(+): Quickstrike account with Nike, eclectic selection

Cons(-): Unreliable website info, rude staff, couldn’t find a single pair of kicks in the whole store that I would wear.

gaberockka

DP Dot Com Super Heroine Series: CATWOMAN

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007

catwoman

Let me tell you that there are certain super heroines that have a male counterpart that they are romantically involved with, like Elektra and DareDevil for instance, but there is no comic book romance that has been better than that of Catwoman and the Bat. The both of these characters are pathological freaks that have to put on masks to get it up. They are also both the ultimate loners because of their emotional detachment to everything and everyone except for their own agenda. Catwoman, however, can convince Batman to walk on the dark side with her, and he in turn, is the only man that can make her be a good pussy. Maybe that’s why those two love each other so much.

cat bat

I spent Friday night with C.S. watching the ‘Catwoman’ movie starring HALLE BERRY. She is single handedly ruining female super heroines with her horrible acting. HALLE is certainly pretty, but she lacks the strength and the fierceness that her characters require of her. ROSARIO DAWSON would have murdered as Catwoman if the studios were so set on selecting an ethnic goddess for the role. HALLE just isn’t a diva. She is too light in the drawls, if you know what I’m saying? The movie didn’t even maintain fidelity to the Catwoman canon.

Selina Kyle was the name of Catwoman’s alter ego. She made a habit of putting in work as Gotham City’s greatest jewel thief. Catwoman was as fearless as she was cunning. She would rob the Joker if he had something that interested her. Then Batman would come through and put the cataclysmic smackdown on Joker and rescue Catwoman, only to have his face scratched up by her as she escaped. This was her way of telling him that she loved him. Catwoman was a magnificent cocktease and Batman fell for her shit everytime. Every now and again the Bat would turn her over to the authorities, but only after he stuck his tongue down her throat. Keep in mind that these two are freaks of the week with emotional issues.

neal adams

If I ever make a Batman movie it will definitely be a pr0n joint, and it will have Batman and the Joker gangbanging Catwoman. Batman don’t really seem like the dude that would beat fire out of Catwoman the way the Joker would. Batman is more likely to watch from the corner of the bedroom and just masturbate. The one thing I can say is that every woman that has ever been cast as Catwoman was worth a ride in the sack, and a few could get my Batarang twice.

halle berry HALLE BERRY
Yeah, HALLE BERRY is a pretty ass chick, but she looks like the type of Black chick that sleeps funny so as not to muss her hair. And being the Catwoman ain’t all about looks either. There is a sex appeal, a female swagger if you will that HALLE BERRY lacks. ‘Jungle Fever’ = her best acting job.

LEE MERIWETHER
LEE starred as Catwoman for the Batman movie made in the 1960’s. She was aiight, but I don’t think she had the sex appeal for Catwoman. LEE was trying too hard to be an actress.
lee meriwether

julie newmar JULIE NEWMAR
JULIE NEWMAR was the first Catwoman on the campy Batman television series. She knew exactly what being Catwoman was all about. She used her feminine charm not just on Batman, but on all of the super villains as well. I even think BURGESS MEREDITH hit that joint with his Penguin umbrella.

MICHELLE PFEIFFER
MICHELLE killed it in the role of Catwoman for the Batman movie directed by TIM BURTON. She was sexy and seducing. Plus crazy as all get out. Of all the various Catwoman costumes I felt like MICHELLE’s maintained the integrity of the character while also giving us a nice little dominatrix look.
michelle pfeiffer

eartha kitt EARTHA KITT
EARTHA KITT was the greatest Catwoman of all time. First off, she was sexy as hell. Her body and her purring voice were so over the top I just wanted to hump my television everytime the Batman show came on. The great GOD above made EARTHA KITT for the role of Catwoman and no one will ever top her performances.