Me, personally, I’ll be painting my door bucks with lambs blood, just in case SHAWN CARTER, ORENTHAL JAMES SIMPSON and BARACK OBAAMA are actually the Cerberus standing before the gates of Hell.
Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category
18 DAYS UNTIL ‘KINGDOM COME’
Thursday, October 26th, 2006PLAY ON, PLAYER…
Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
DIDDY’s ‘Press Play’ first week sales weren’t bad as far as Hip-Hop records are concerned now-a-days, but with only 175,000 units off the shelves he’s gonna have to find that next gear to turn up the heat on his product.
Keep in mind this man has like eight kids now if you count all the seeds between KIM PORTER, MYSA HILTON-BRIM and AL B. SURE. Since DIDDY is the only one out of them with a job he’s got to buy all the Christmas presents.
The King Of Beers x The King Of Rap + The King Of All Jigs…
Thursday, October 19th, 2006
I thought I was done with talking about Hip-Hop for at least a week or two, but damn, they keep bringing me back into their circle of Hell like DANTE’s Inferno.
By now we all know that FABOLOUS, the straight rapper with the gay stage name, was shot and arrested all in the same night. It’s got to be old news if I know about it since I live in my parents’ basement and I only come to the surface to open the ‘frige. I think FAB just raised the bar now for any young rapper coming into the game and what they might have to do in order to have their CD released. How do you top the FABOLOUS double-play? I say you still have to get shot and arrested, but first you have to pour a bottle of Cristal champagne on your head and then set yourself on fire. You young rappers are gonna have to come hardbody now or else get yourself a job at the post office.
JAY-Z is slowly reconnecting with the regular guy that loves his music, but can’t afford to travel to Aspen, or Monte Carlo, or Nice. It doesn’t mean that the regular guy doesn’t want the finer things in life it’s just that his level of education (and inability to rap over beats) will forever place him on the service side of our economy. Since this fool can’t even pronounce Armand De Brignac (JAY’s new champagne choice) JAY-Z is stepping down to his level… somewhat. As a paid consultant for the Anheuser-Busch conglomerate, JAY-Z will tell the suits in St. Louis how to get some of that sweet Black scrilla that we would normally spend on Champale. Now if only one of these venerable rap music labels would hire JAY to be their president then we might be able to get some decent artist development popping from someone who understands what it’s like to be on the other side of the table. Yeah, maybe…
The first big album event of the fourth quarter took place Tuesday with the release of The King Of All Jigs, PUFF DIDDY’s new CD titled ‘Press Play’. The early album reviews have been good and the demand for the album at DIDDY’s restaurant ‘JUSTINs’ is why FABOLOUS was shot, allegedly.
As part of the promotional whirlwind for the album PUFF will embark on one of his usual over-ambitious all nighters. The details are as follows…
1) Skiing in Vail on Thursday with DAVID HASSELHOFF
2) Friday – La Maas and midwife clases with KIM PORTER on DONALD TRUMP’s private jet
3) Run Boston Marathon on Saturday for MTV taping (seven months early)
4) On Sunday unearth the casket of Notorious B.I.G. and remove all remaining jewelry
5) Brush LYOR COHEN’s Wigs when back at WMG Manhattan offices on Monday
6) Tuesday – make YouTube video of BadBoy staff dancing when Soundscan reports are delivered
With DIDDY as busy as he is these days I’m not sure who will host the BET Hip-Hop Awards. The bigger question I have is do people still watch B.E.T.? It seems kind of redundant and cheaply produced when compared to MTV2 and VH-1. Maybe it’s time to pull the plug on the Negro Network?
Then again we could just pour champagne on top of it and set it on fire. That would be keeping it Hip-Hop.
SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!
Wednesday, October 18th, 2006
This is just a little taste of how it’s going down this autumn. Premium leather uppers with the Infra-Red contrast stitching and midsoles.
FIRE IN ZEE HOLE!
VH-1 Honors HIP-HOP
Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
I can remember my earliest and fondest memories of meeting up with Hip-Hop. I didn’t know at the time that was what I was doing. I just thought I was living life having fun being a kid. Every summer school would end and then a week later there would be this festival in Flushing Meadows Park. The festival was called ‘Queens Day’ and it was a celebration given by the Quens Boro President’s office. There were vendors and soundstages throughout the park. Most importantly, there were girls, tons of them, from all over Queens.
Queens girls were a different stock than Manhattan girls and Brooklyn girls. While Manhattan girls were usually bourgie because of their mixed race parentage, Queens girls kept it eye level. While at the same time Queens girls were easy on the eyes as opposed to Brooklyn girls who often had a razor scar across their cheek from their mouth to their ear. Queens girls lived in houses with furnished basements. If you bagged up a shorty from the Rosedale area you had hit the teen poon jackpot. Her parents might have a house with a detached two car garage. One of those refrigerators that had a door for the freezer compartment and one for the regular foods. The bathroom always had a toilet seat with that fuzzy cover over the lid. Queens girls were the creme de la creme.
Queens Hip-Hop was on the come up too. RUN-DMC was changing the game with their shout-at-the-microphone rhyming style. Along with the young and brash LL Cool J it semed like Queens, New York was the center of the Earth. All the credit for making that summer one of my most enjoyable times belongs to RUSSELL SIMMONS. He understood the force with which rap music and Hip-Hop culture spoke and he put it all on the line to bring the art to people would never have been exposed to it. There was ridicule and derision that met him at almost every turn, but he still continued to grind for this thing with no guarantee from anyone that things would pan out. Even though I will be the first to call ol’ boy ‘HU$TLE $IMMON$’ I have to respect his grind and his belief.
Also the fact that he helped put Queens, New York on the map.