Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

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FREEDOM!!! FRIDAYS

Thursday, July 27th, 2006

freedom!!! fridays

I have to give a shout out to my man fifty grand, DJ HERBERT. He used to receive my weekly e-mail blast and he offered me a job as a promoter for his weekly party called FREEDOM!!! FRIDAYS. At the time FREEDOM!!! had just moved to a space in the East Village and it was my favorite spot for bagging up a p.y.t. that was fresh to the NYC scene. She might be from Chicago, L.A., Detroit or N’Awlins and she was trying to find out what was really good with the Big Apple. Even though the party might be filled with industry heads there was little or no pretension. If you asked a girl for a dance she would give you one. If you knew how to dance you would get a second. I even have a couple of dope hook up stories from this party.

When I designed my flyers I was given complete autonomy and as you will see I pushed the limits of good taste in some of my designs. It was all about the feel good attitude that the FREEDOM!!! party gave me. FREEDOM!!! was a lot of fun for me back then because the party was a breath of fresh air to the NYC late nite club scene. Rare grooves and classic Hip-Hop made FREEDOM!!! like the sexiest group karaoke event ever. The FREEDOM!!! FRIDAYS party is still on and popping and you can still get inside on the DALLAS PENN friends and family discount when you say my name to the cashier. Ladies = $5 and fellas = $7 all nite long.

FREEDOM!!! FRIDAYS
Star 64 a/k/a StarFoods
64 East 1st Street, NYC

For a less hectic and laid back groove you can find me at BELMONT LOUNGE on Friday nites. There’s no chance of you squeezing ROSARIO DAWSON’s booty like at FREEDOM!!!, but we make up for it by not charging a cover and being heavy handed on the bar drinks.

Go to FREEDOM!!! to look like a Star, come to Belmont to get wasted like one.

I called this set of flyers my ‘funny pictures series’.

afro

golddigger

FREEDOM!!! FRIDAYS
Star 64 a/k/a StarFoods
64 East 1st Street, NYC

ashanti

superstar

FREEDOM!!! FRIDAYS
Star 64 a/k/a StarFoods
64 East 1st Street, NYC

supersperm

Posted in Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, T.O.N.Y. | No Comments »

PHARRELL Is Out Of His Mind

Wednesday, July 26th, 2006

fa real

All the falsetto singing and synthesizers in metro-sexual America couldn’t save this project. I was in Paris nearly a year ago and they were hyping the release of this album. With everyone still drinking the Kool-Aid from the GWEN STEFANI and SNOOP DOGG collabos the handwriting was on the wall that what this project really needed was a lot of guest appearances. I can imagine PHARRELL in the studio shouting, “More tinkerbells! It needs more tinkerbells.” I remember when my cousin got a Casio keyboard for Christmas. He never learned how to play the damn thing past programming the lousy drum sounds. That is the extent of the Neptunes production talents. More uninspiring, bland keyboard strokes, more PRINCE-like breathing and high pitched warbling and of course, bells.

This would be a great album if it were made by a high school improvisational jazz band, but instead one of the music industry’s highest paid producers comes up way short. If you are hell bent to spend $20 at Best Buy pick up a copy of the dead prez / outlaws collabo titled ‘Can’t Sell Dope Forever’, and ‘CHAPPELLE Show: The Lost Season’ DVD.

You humps have prah’lee been watching that shit on cable anyhoo.

Bitches!

Posted in Crappers, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs | 2 Comments »

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Wednesday, July 26th, 2006

super class=

I am calling these varsity red / royal blue Dunks the ‘Super Marios’.

What color should I change the laces to?

super marios

super mario

Posted in Fashion Faux Pas, Sneaker Fiends United, Straight Laced, The Addict | 8 Comments »

START SNITCHING Is My Hero

Tuesday, July 25th, 2006

balloon love

It’s one of those hazy summer nights and the internets just made it that much hotter. My brother from another mother(and father, I hope), The Human Resource, has just given me the key to many lonely nights enjoyment – The URL’s for all the contestants of this years’ global ho pageant. Miss World, Miss Universe, whatever. These are the types of ho’s that CRIS CARTER needs to eff with. START SNITCHING is a good thing, we should all be doing it.

I have already decided which chicks I will be doing on a nightly basis.

Miss Costa Rica
Miss Philipines
Miss Venezuela (CHAVEZ, you lucky bastard)

The only B.M. out of the entire pageant was Miss Ethiopia. All these other bitches were hot to death, but they were all too Eurocentric looking. For heaven’s sake, just look at Miss Jamaica!

Shout goes out to Miss Turks & Caicos. Shorty is only 5ft.3in. so you know that booty is a bang-banger.

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, Fashion Faux Pas, Lust = Love | 14 Comments »

CRIS CARTER: Almost Famous

Tuesday, July 25th, 2006

80

First off, if any of y’all are traveling through the air do not get caught up in AirTran’s circus of bullshit. These humps are the cheapest fare for a reason. The customer service is wack, the stewardesses have track marks on their arms and they wear cheap wigs and the planes are always overbooked.

While I was flying to Atlanta last week I ran into CRIS CARTER, legendary wide receiver from the Minnesota Vikings. CRIS is a good dude and he stopped for a minute to chat with me. I always liked CRIS more than say, JERRY RICE, because he toiled away without complaints for all those years on those sucky Vikings teams.

Lo and behold, CRIS was flying to Atlanta on the same AirTran flight that I was on. This is how real the BUSH Administration economy is looking. Even a former NFL superstar has to watch his pennies now that his playing days are over. I saw the young lady that was accompanying CRIS and I realized that he may not make the Hall of Fame in Canton after all. Homegirl was not HOF caliber pussy. She was just aiight. Definitely hittable, but not on the level that you would expect for the second greatest receiver of all time. CRIS needs to have him some illmatic mulatto with real blonde hair and not that lace front jammy that homegirl was rocking.

If CRIS CARTER doesn’t step his broad game up I don’t see him getting into the Hall on a first ballot

Posted in Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, Sports are Gay | 5 Comments »

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