Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

SUPERMAN RETURNS = YES HOMO

Wednesday, July 5th, 2006

superman

Are we all in agreement with this? The latest installment of the DC Comics franchise was regrettably a piece of shiite. I am not going to go into all the reasons why this may have been the worst superhero flick ever, but I will just say that there was way too much wasted talent, money and time on this production. Sadly, I am never getting those two and half hours back.

The story presented in this movie was for a Black superhero, like maybe the Falcon or Black Lightning. I mean, what white gets stronger by being in the sun?!? BRYAN SINGER was director, producer and writer for the movie. He fucked up by thinking that he was really the shit. The story which had potential, was ultimately flat and lacked credibility as a Superman storyline. I am going to list a couple of joints that ruined the film for me. Don’t read this post any further if you are still going to waste your hard earned money on this supertrash.

1) Superman gets his strength from the sun and he never has to break out the SPF-100 even though dude is pasty like a muhh.

2) The characters have been modernized in that Lois Lane is a groupie video ho reporter. Superman banged out Lois Lane and she had a seed, but he doesn’t know it because he skated from Earth for five years (told you that it hould have been a Black man).

3) JAMES MARDSEN has to be BRYAN SINGER’s lover because why else would you jump from the X-Men franchise where your character gets to bang out Jean Grey to a storyline where you have to be the beard to Lois Lane and raise a child that isn’t even yours.

4) KEVIN SPACEY couldn’t save this piece of shit film either with a portrayal of Lex Luthor that lacked malevolence and comedy. It was somewhere in between the two and that’s a shame because KEVIN can bring the heat or the laughs when his writing is sharp.

5) Who the fuck is in the Quality and Assurance Deptartment at the film studio? They made sure that the telephones received the brand placement ‘AVAYA’, but Superman’s cape had no ‘S’ on it?!?

6) The worst action scenes of any superhero movie ever. No azz kicking monsters or thirty-story robots. Just a dude with his underpants on the outside of his pantyhose, unable to tell this groupie slut that he loves her.

7) BRANDON ROUTH = extra BOUTROS BOUTROS BOUTROS GREG LOUGANIS

DO YOU BELIEVE…

Tuesday, July 4th, 2006

the mothership

in the Mothership?

Ten years ago on the Fourth of July GEORGE CLINTON performed in Central Park for the 20th anniversary of the Mothership Connection. I went to the show with my then fiance who was as avid a Funkadelic fan as I was. We tripped the day away on everything we could get our hands on and I mean everything.

The show was a magnificent display of sound, color and texture. BOOTSY COLLINS, BERNIE WORRELL, MACEO PARKER, DE LA SOUL and A TRIBE CALLED QUEST all graced the stage. The culmination of course was the landing of the mothership. The climax was later on that evening when my girlfriend and I made love. I was so hopped up on drugs that I ejaculated styrofoam. True story. My girlfriend and I would never get married and the flashbacks from that evening always remind me to forever leave acid alone lest I take a ride on the Mothership for good.

Yet I still have fond memories…

R.I.P.G.G.

Spider-Man 3 Movie Trailers

Tuesday, July 4th, 2006

The only good thing to come from going to see the super GheyMan movie were the trailers for Spiderman 3. Venom, Sandman, Hobgoblin?!? Marvel Comics has their foot so firmly planted on the throat of DC Comics to the point that they are going to have to create a Black Batman just to stay in the game.

AFRICA = Motherland Of GULLY!

Monday, July 3rd, 2006

ouch

My deposed African brother residing in Toronto, KAMOJI, likes to remind me that the greatest amount of gully peoples living on the planet are inside the dark continent. Who can argue with this great truism. Africa is the birthplace of gully. Can you imagine looking at your neighbors across the street and deciding that you would be willing to sell them into slavery in order to get a new set of cups and plates from the Home Shopping Network?

This is why I don’t particularly care for the Africans in Africa. Those people are the direct descendents of the people that sold my great-grandparents to the Devil. Why should I care how fucked the fuck up their lives have become. Shit is tough all over bitches. But I do care because that is the burden of being one of GOD’s chosen people. You have to care about more than just yourself. You have to understand that the web of life flows through all of us, Black, white, rich, poor, and even the Mexicans. We are only as good as the worst of us, and we is all we got. So in using that standard as a barometer, let’s look at recent news in Africa to see how fucked the fuck up we really are…

Even when Africans come to America they stay on their gully grizzly. An Egyptian couple living in California did they shit on some classic biblical shit by keeping a slave. Let my peoples go motherfucker!

Let me find out your boy TYSON BECKFORD is modeling in Mogadishu?!?

tyson

Damn sonn, times ARE really hard on the boulevard.

AIDS, famine and civil war are an almost invincible hat trick, but when you add in heroin addiction, I don’t even think GRETZKY could pull that one off.

We enjoyed a laugh or two at DIDDY’s ‘Vote Or Die’ marketing campaign a couple of years ago. In the Congo however, they keep it so real that it’s just wrong. And it looks like there’s going to be a grip more folks dying before the votes are counted. With three dozen candidates all vying for the office of president I say they should have a cage match with all the candidates and about ten lions. Whoever ends up with the most appendages left on their body gets to be president.

Hmmm, that wouldn’t be a half bad system to bring across the pond for the November ballots.

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Monday, July 3rd, 2006

brazil

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!

You know the ADDICT had to represent for my peoples in Bahia. The good folks at the NIKE Design Studio let me blaze my own joints that give a shout to all the kids that ‘Joga Bonito‘ in Brazil. As usual, the design program features materials that aren’t available online or at any retail locations. Please study the pearlized green leather at the heel and the toebox.

bahia

bahia

bahia

bahia

bahia

The other feature that put these over the top is subtle to most, but to true sneaker fiends GOD is in the details. A gum cupsole is a sick throwback to old school sneaker design. Sorry players, but you can’t freak a separate cupsole online either. I feel your pain. There was a glitch in the matrix the day that I had these shoes fabricated so I couldn’t get the contrast stitching feature. Too bad for me. I guess I have to go back and do another jawnt.

Sou Da Paz.

brazil

brazil