Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

NBA Pines Away For the Return of Pum-Pum Shahts

Monday, December 19th, 2005

H.Q.

My boy, STEPHON ‘HeadQuarters’ MARBURY is getting hassled by the league office for wearing his shorts too long. Apparently the fashion police don’t appreciate the throwback clamdiggers. In a funny twist, hiking up the hemline on his shorts may cut down on H.Q.’s turnovers and general unproductivity.

H.QUEEZY

HeadQuarters convinced his umbrella carrier teammate to wear extra long shorts too. Now at least NATE ROBINSON gets his name in an NBA penalty docket book since its not going to be ib the scorer’s book.

nate dogg

The players union has filed a grievance on behalf of all the players that were issued fines. There are a few all-stars and semi-decent players on the list so I ask all of you basketball fans the question… Which team would you prefer, the one filled with delinquent felons in the capri pants or the team with the Hall of Famers in the booty-cutters?

pum pum shahts all stars

Keep in mind that the booty-cutter squad even has the greatest point guard of all time.

j.s.

My dude rocked his short shorts up until retirement.

male men

EVA is NOT a Diva!

Wednesday, December 14th, 2005

skeezer

But seriously, who is this broad?!? What has she done other than win a dimestore reality show contest? Does she even rank with the great ones? IMAN, GRACE JONES, BEVERLY JOHNSON, NAOMI CAMPBELL??? TYRA BANKS has put in way more work than homegirl and even she doesn’t rate the title ‘Diva’ just yet. It is harder for models to acheive the title because their only talent is to look good. And I use the word talent perjoratively.

DIANA ROSS, PATTI LaBELLE, VANESSA WILLIAMS and JANET JACKSON are all official divas because their actual talent and beauty have stood the test of time. By calling this miscellaneous broad a diva we lower the standards for that status. Let’s see this chick in ten more years before we give her undue props just because it rhymes with her name.

G-UNIT Signs Filipino 2-LIVE CREW

Wednesday, December 14th, 2005

G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-GAY UNIT!

50CENT is at it again. This time he signs a group which is relatively unknown in the U.S. market. The group’s name is KINETICS. Their members hail from the Philipines and they have sold over 10 million records in the Asian market.

Editor’s Note: BLU CHEEZ is lying, but for a moment there you wanted to believe him.

Note to STAR JONES : Less Was Never More

Sunday, December 11th, 2005

steezie

There was this window in my mind’s eye when STAR JONES could have gotten the stiffest, hardest three minutes that any man has to give. Yeah she was thick back then, but she was a honey-chocolate, tight, thick chick. Like KELLY PRICE, but with more scrilla.

STAR has fallen the fuck off now.

Final Week for the 2005 1st ANNUAL H.A.M. Pageant

Saturday, December 10th, 2005

h.a.m. hilton

We are in the homestretch of the website’s 1st Annual Hot Azz Mess Awards. The competition has been fierce to say the least and I expect some surpises before all is said and done.

I have to thank my homie FRESH from Crunk and Disorderly for planting the seed for this event.