“I spit a story backwards, it starts at the ending.”– (c)Nas ‘Rewind/Stillmatic’ 2001
The back of my throat reclaimed my falsetto
His hands once again found my thighs, our embrace tightened
His lips back on mine
I took my hand out of the glove compartment said “Insane fucking is this”
My right ear tingled in anticipation of his warm breath, “Ambitious feeling you’re if”
My passenger door closed then shut
I looked into his eyes, his lips went dry
He knocked twice on my window then walked away
My door promptly locked, car in reverse
My headlights illuminate ’45 Minute Waiting Area’
Click Click Clic——-my left turn signal
The speedometer goes clockwise; time goes back, 3-2-1
This is how the story begun
He winks at me and motions to pull over
I hung up the phone then the phone rang
“My plane just landed, meet me at United”
*Beep*
“This is Max, leave a message. Peace.”
Rock Girls in the building tonight
Look at how I’m chillin, Im killin this ice
You dont even gotta bring your purses out
We the dope girls of the year TUITION is on the house!!!
The Association of American Colleges (AAC) was established at a meeting of college presidents in Chicago in 1915. Robert Kelly, president of Earlham College, was appointed the first president of the 179 member coalition. Throughout the century, the AAC has had a number of milestones, including blasting colleges and universities for losing value of liberal education, to being kicked out of Lafayette Square in D.C. after the President pre-empted its space.
The most interesting thing about the AAC is that in 1918, then President Lyman Lowell announced that fifty American colleges and universities would offer scholarships, expense allowances or free tutition to girls from France who came to this country for education. The reason for this outpour of generosity is supposedly because World War I had severely retarded France’s education system, and left the women and girls without means for educating themselves.
One way the women would be able to pay off their education is with fees paid to them for providing instructions in their own languages, or through scholarships and expense allowances. Lowell’s stance is that a group of students in each university would increase relations between the countries and make each more determined to win the war.
Bullshit! I don’t believe a fucking word of it. Since when do Americans, at the height of a world war, become concerned about the education of girls in general, much less French girls? Especially French girls whose families would otherwise have the money to pay for their education. Since when did America’s education system become a pillar of support for anyone, much less an associated power in a world war? President Woodrow Wilson was determined not to even term the U.S. an ally during the war. This is some shady shit to the fullest. In my humble opinion the evidence shows that those French broads were running drugs! Walk with me on this shit…
Narcotics smuggling represented a colonial monopoly. Those who had it sold it and those who didn’t have it bought it. World War I provided many with the opportunity to profit off the lucrative trade and smuggling of lots of different items from pepper, tea, and ginger to opium derivatives. Where in the United States can you find large groups of severely impressionable people looking to expand their minds? Colleges and universities. Who better to further this expansion? Foreign chicks who barely speak English.
It is widely speculated that these ladies were the direct relatives of the infamous French mafia, Unione Corse. Most known for “Air Opium” and the French Connection. These dudes are so bad that when one of their own was arrested in the 60’s for carrying around $247,000 in cash from a suspected drug deal, he was released and the government paid him back, with interest! The Teflon Don ain’t got shit on these cats.
Narcotics and marijuana were perfectly legal in the US until the Harrison Narcotics Act of 1914 and subsequent laws changed the rules in the middle of the game. Opiates being refined in Marseilles were high market value in the US, during this time, drug agents seized 44 pounds of opium basically because the American government wasn’t getting their cut. As a compromise with the Corse, in 1916 the Supreme Court ruled that the government had no regulation over drugs and drug users, however,selling drugs was still illegal. Guess what Lyman Lowell of the AAC was doing between 1916 and 1918? Working abroad in Marseilles, France!
Every good dealer needs a front. Something that acts as a legit machine while making the real paper behind the scenes. The plan to offer free tuition to French girls through the AAC was brilliant. No one would ever suspect female foreign exchange students to be drug smuggling mules. It gave the Corse a direct link to willing customers, a ‘Thor’s hammer’ so to speak, and they didn’t get caught, and I can almost guaran-damn-tee that none of them ever became rappers.
The French motto is “Liberty, Equality, Fraternity.” We all know the word fraternity is really a collegiate euphemism for getting fucked the fuck up, so it was all in the blueprints from the beginning! If you take a look, you can chase that damn dragon right back to the warm bosom of a sexy French co-ed fresh off the boat.
If you haven’t seen the video below, you only need to watch the first 45 seconds or so to get the point of this drop
This will be the funniest drop of the week. I’m laughing already. It’s just that damn funny!!! Ha-ha, ha, ha ha ha-ha! What we have is the latest music video from Hip Hop’s very own Macduff, Curtis ‘50Cent’ Jackson, featuring the only illegal alien who doesn’t have to carry an ID, Akon.
The music video starts with Fifty and his weedcarriers in tow, chanting the mantra heard round the world, “I get money, I-I get, I-I [money] get, I [money] I-I get money”, or however the fuck it goes, before cutting to what appears to be a maximum security prison with big ass dog bowls of… cereal? Akon and Fifty are the prisoners!! I’ll break it down for you. They went from being celebrities to prisoners, because they’ll ‘still kill’. [Wipes eyes from tears of laughter]
It seems as though Fifty and Akeezy aren’t the only ones who will still kill. You see, the Pennsylvania Department of Correction commisioned this study of PV’s versus PS’s. That’s Parole Violators and Parole Successes for all of you who don’t speak Inmate-ese. Can you believe I read all sixty-seven motherfucking pages when all I needed to do was to throw on my copy of ‘Curtis’? [I’m cracking up over here!]
For a variety of reasons, 60 percent of all Black parolees are violated within less than a year of release. Holy shit! Over half of ex convicts ‘will still kill’? I didn’t know that. Thank goodness this video is Jam of the Week! [Oh come on, that was funny right?! You cats at DP dot com have no sense of humor].
“I got a arsenal, an infantry I’m built for this mentally”
Surprise, surprise, a combined percentage of crimes amongst PV’s involving weapons as the controlling offense is well over 35 percent. You don’t have to take my word for it, Curtis tells you! It’s right there in the lyrics! Hey you fucking consumers, it’s not just the T.I.’s making money off this rap catastrophe. Lawyers are caking like crazy too.
“Ain’t nuttin change still holla at my homies/Ohh and when I hit the block I still will kill”
PV’s are significantly more likely to maintain relationships with friends who had a criminal past. You don’t really believe that ‘birds of a feather’ bullshit do you? I mean, we don’t have any real evidence that Curtis, or Akon for that matter have ever killed anyone!!! [Ha-ha!] Get it? In order for them to ‘still kill’ they would first have to kill someone! That’s what weedcarriers are for, keep smilin’, keep shinin’.
“Niggaz know, if not they better check my background” About 1.5 million convicted felons have completed their sentences and still do not have the right to vote! You didn’t expect Curtis to know that did you? How could he? He isn’t even from one of the 14 states that severely restrict or even prohibit onetime prisoners from casting ballots. Damn right they better check your background. It’s not like all ex-felons can’t vote. In states where they can vote, the process of restoring rights is seen by some as cumbersome and confusing. All this time, I thought rights were something you inherently have, not something you acquire! More excuses, poor technology? Bullshit, 1,086,910 people bought Fifty’s last album and we all know he’s tired of using technology-ology-gy [Ha ha ha, motherfucking ha! I’m DYING over here, can you hear me?!?!?]
It is not fucking fair to say that only unrealistic post-release expectations play a factor in success or failure of a parolee! Fif got shot nine times and lived! Talk about unrealistic expectations! You mean to tell me, after five or more years in prison, upon release, cats don’t feel prepared to face issues like money management, drug and alcohol problems, finding a job, and keeping a job? Getting shot 9 times and making millions or going back to the same environment that got you locked up in the first place, any takers? Fuck that, don’t talk to me about unrealistic expectations. LOSERS! [Whooooo!! Forbes 1.2.3 remember?]
“Put my back on the wall nigga watch me go for mine.”
Parole Violators reported illegal or criminal behavior as an acceptable solution to problems, well who fucking doesn’t? The NYPD is the most shining example of handling problems that need to get dealt with. If you’re going for a hairbrush, you’re fucked.[Oh DAMN! Maxine, you’re killing em out there! Ha ha haha haha]
Seriously, why aren’t you laughing? This is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. Don’t take responsibility for what you do and say, it’s just entertainment right? [Ha-ha] It’s supposed to tell a story [*chuckle*]. This is not everyone’s reality right? [ha] Lighten up. Why.Aren’t.You.Laughing? I’m laughing so hard [hahahaha] I can’t [ah] feel my [aha] face.
Editor’s note: MAXINE is one of the new voices that will come through and bless us with some drops. Peep homegirl’s game and how she goes in right out of the gate.
What do Benazir Bhutto and Irv Gotti have in common? Money laundering charges. What don’t they have in common? $1.5 Billion and a reality show, can you guess who has what?
Benazir Bhutto is a Pakistani politician and the first elected woman to do a whole bunch of shit you won’t remember by the end of this drop. The “Supreme B,” as I like to call her, has been running shit by way of her associates for a long time, beginning with her father Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, a former premier of Pakistan and founder of the Pakistan People’s Party (PPP), the largest and most influential political party in the whole country.
B’s father was dismissed as Prime Minister in 1975 on charges of corruption and conspiracy to merc’k the father of a political opponent, because of this, he was sentenced to death (by then President Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq) and subsequently hanged Saddam style in 1979. In the aftermath of Papa Bhutto’s execution, B went on to become a leader in exile of the PPP, acting as the direct opposition to anything anti-democracy and thus building trust amongst dipshits, I mean, diplomats in the western world, aka, American diplomats.
In 1988, the PPP (B’s front for power) won the largest bloc of seats in the National Assembly, Bhutto thereby becoming the Prime Minister of Muslim Pakistan (So this really means she didn’t win the election so much as she had her people thug-style their way in, kinda like what Jim Jones and Juelz attempted to do at Chris Brown’s party).
Still looking for those Gotti comparisons? In 1990, B was dismissed on conspiracy and corruption charges and was re-elected in 1993, only to be dismissed again on, you guessed it, conspiracy and corruption charges. This is only the beginning of a career plagued by controversy, corruption, house arrest and other shady shit. I don’t have time to fill in all the blanks for you, and besides, Pakistan could be fucking pine needles and farm animal straw by the time you’re done reading this, but what I’ve come up with is this, Benazir Bhutto has more in common with your favorite rapper/mogul than you may realize. Here are a few common denominators I’ve come up with to start us off…
Appointment to a position that some may deem “controversial”
An appearance of being “for the people” while really fucking the people
A direct incestuous connect to the game, via, some family member, preferably father figure
Accusations of corruption and money laundering to further finance some other shitty side project
Her friends/weed carriers keep getting killed
You with me? Now, who fits the criteria? Let’s start off with some of the usual suspects…
Irv Gotti
In 2005, Gotti and his brother were accused of laundering drug money through Murder Inc to Kenneth ‘Supreme’ McGriff. There’s speculation that said dollars went to protecting Murder Inc (didn’t Ja get his ass whipped in Queens like 2 summers ago?) and for Supreme’s crew to act as enforcers for Gotti and Co. I actually like the more accepted theory about using that money to kill Curtis ’50Cent’ Jackson but hey, who am I? Both brothers were acquitted of all money laundering charges but suffered blows to both financial stability and street credibility.
Jay-Z
In 2004 or somewhere around there, Jay accepted the position as President of Def Jam Records, looking to lead the struggling company back to the top. As a part of the deal with Jay, Universal Music Group (read: the motherfuckers who are really running this rap shit) also acquired Roc-a-fella Records and all other ventures under said name, kinda like Bhutto did with the PPP. So alright, I’m not that upset about this particular Carter Administration. I couldn’t really give a fuck about those starving artists over there (I’m a writer okay?), nor do I care about him promoting shitty music over GOOD music (I’ve never owned a Rhianna album and don’t plan on it). What I DO care about is the Brooklyn Nets arena project which could force tons of cats that have been living in Brooklyn for ages out of their homes. Mostly due to gentrification as a result of the luxury motherfucking condo’s coming into the borough. Fuck you Bruce Ratner, I don’t believe you, you need more people, you asshole.
T.I. (the rapper, not the racists)
Bhutto hadn’t even been in the fucking country for 24 hours when 2 explosions occurred after she landed at the airport in Karachi, those Jihadist motherfuckers were not playing when they said stay out of their hood. She told the government this would happen, they didn’t give a fuck. You may remember T.I. and Co. got chased out of Cincy a while back, ending in his best friend’s death. He still can’t fuck with the ‘Supreme B’ though, 136 dead (with most being bodyguards or political allies of Bhutto’s) and 450 injured. Clifford, not even your little closet arsenal can fucks with Benazir.
Sean Combs
I know, I know, he’s really NOT a rapper, even though he thinks he is, BUT he qualifies because his dad was reportedly a gangster. Can anyone verify the cause of death for Melvin?
Lil Wayne
Stuntin’ like my daddy. Need I say more? I could but it’d be too easy.
Word on the streets of Islamabad is that The ‘Supreme B’ has about $1.5 Billion chillin in some offshore account and is about ready to wreck some shit. She’s been sneaking in a few punches here and there, kinda like Saigon and Prodigy, but different. Watch out Musharraf, you don’t wanna rumble with this queen B do ya?
