I have millions of pictures of JAY-Z and BeYONCE hanging out together and they all amount to nothing more than a well crafted publicity stunt. I mean, how hard would it be NOT to knock up BeYONCE? JAY-Z surely isn’t getting any younger. I try to imagine the DNA combo of the greatest idiot savant rapper(yes, greater than NAS) and the most shallow and blank pretty face since FARRAH FAWCETT. But as every year passes and every event continues to show them sitting next to each other, my hopes for a seedling from this Negro entertainment union juggernaut slip further away.
Why won’t JAY-Z make her reproduce? Anyone that comes from Mz. Be’s Texas hometown already knows that she’s had an abortion from her high school sweetheart, so you know her eggs are poppin’ fresh. And JAY-Z isn’t as teh ghey as we had previously thought. Anyone that works at 555 West 57th Street knows that JAY-Z knocked up FREE and forced her to go to the vacuum dealers. Their parts are obviously in working order.
The biggest rumor that was circling through Hip-Hop sites last week was that JAY-Z has a child with a miscellaneous video ho vixen and that he has paid the woman off handsomely to live in London. The subsequent rumor was that SHAM’ROCK was going to bring the kid on stage at Summer Jam as part of his last ditch attempt to save his career in crap music. I bet that SHAM doesn’t even have the money left in his account to fly the child and his mother to New York via coach class. JAY-Z wins again, but what about this illegitimate child?
This means that some lucky kid could be having the ultimate Black woman as a step-mom. Technically, you can still tap your step-mom, especially if she never marries your dad. This kid in London is too fucking lucky.
