It’s a good thing I still get to write here despite my day job over at XXL. If I let DALLAS write about Valentine’s Day it would prah’lee be an ode to white meat. Not that there’s anything wrong with the other white meat, but when I want to really get some good Power U for the holiday I have to get some Black snatch. It’s fraught and filled with all this emotion and intensity, especially when she doesn’t have a strong connection to her father. Emotional Black women are so sexy.
Instead of giving your beautiful Black snatch some flowers or candy this year I suggest you give her a gift that actually gets better with time. A book. One of my friends has reissued a book that I guarantee will pull the panties off your Black poon provider faster than R. KELLY on furlough. The title is called ‘Passion, Pride and Politickin‘ and it speaks to all of the things that Black girls hold most dear. It’s like a manifesto for falling in love with a Black woman and once she reads some of it she will think that you are the most sensitive man on the planet and you are down for her struggle, which is slightly different than your struggle. The Black woman’s struggle is to be ready for the revolution as well as simultaneously being ready to go out for cocktails. Whichever invite comes first.
‘Passion, Pride and Politickin’ isn’t about the revolution that will be fought with weapons, but more about the revolution that comes when women realize their self worth and reclaim control of their bodies, particularly the vagina part that most of us guys like the best. There’s still enough inside the book to prove that a real woman still believes in giving up the head and the poop chute, just don’t be calling her a bitch afterwards. Because that’s just not right. The book is still fun and playful too when the author writes about all of the things that piss us off outside of interpersonal relationships.
The main thing is that you will look like one of those progressive brothers when you give your Black cum cup this book. She will think that you have transformed yourself from being a selfish, lazy, no cunnilingus giving brother into a man that actually wants to hear what’s on her mind. Trust me fellas, there is nothing sexier to a Black woman than a man who can listen to her incessant prattle without killing himself. The book’s super added bonus is that it comes in paperback so you can afford to give it to more than one broad. I’ve got three copies so you know I’m getting lucky this Valentine’s Day.
You didn’t think I would forget?!?
