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Archive for the ‘Lust = Love’ Category

START SNITCHING Is My Hero

Tuesday, July 25th, 2006

balloon love

It’s one of those hazy summer nights and the internets just made it that much hotter. My brother from another mother(and father, I hope), The Human Resource, has just given me the key to many lonely nights enjoyment – The URL’s for all the contestants of this years’ global ho pageant. Miss World, Miss Universe, whatever. These are the types of ho’s that CRIS CARTER needs to eff with. START SNITCHING is a good thing, we should all be doing it.

I have already decided which chicks I will be doing on a nightly basis.

Miss Costa Rica
Miss Philipines
Miss Venezuela (CHAVEZ, you lucky bastard)

The only B.M. out of the entire pageant was Miss Ethiopia. All these other bitches were hot to death, but they were all too Eurocentric looking. For heaven’s sake, just look at Miss Jamaica!

Shout goes out to Miss Turks & Caicos. Shorty is only 5ft.3in. so you know that booty is a bang-banger.

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, Fashion Faux Pas, Lust = Love | 14 Comments »

I’d Rather Be With You…

Saturday, July 22nd, 2006

cheech wiz

Dedicated to my main source, my main sauce.

I will be singing along while BOOTSY solos on the bass…

I’d rather be with you, yeah
yeah, I’d rather be with you
I’d rather be with you, yeah
Yeah I’d rather be with you

I’d rather be with you until i’m through
Oh yes I do
I’d rather be with you until that day we’ll fly away
I just love that smiling face in the early sun
If I can’t have you to myself, then life’s no fun

I’d rather be with you, yeah
yeah, I’d rather be with you
I’d rather be with you, yeah
Yeah I’d rather be with you

I wanna hold your hand
Oh, if I can just be your man
I wanna be your friend
Not now and then, but until the end
I just love the way you act, and that’s a fact
I wanna be your number one, so picture that

Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
I’d rather be with you
Yeah
Yeah, I’d rather be with you

I’d rather be with you until I’m through
Oh, yes I do
I’d rather be with you until that day we’ll fly away
I just love that smiling face in the early sun
If I can’t have you to myself, then life’s no fun

I’d rather be with you, yeah
Yeah, I’d rather be with you
I’d rather be with you, yeah
Yeah I’d rather be with you

Posted in Ghetto Celebs, Lust = Love, When I Reminisce... | 2 Comments »

More Mothers I’d Like To F…

Friday, July 21st, 2006

brit

I knew that y’all would be freaky for that vintage poon like ZILLZ and me. It’s just a better feel all around. I remember this baseball mitten that I had for years and I took it outside every spring to play catch with my dad? Before we would go outside to the park my dad would take a little bit of baby oil and rub it into the center cup of the mitt. Dad’s know how to soften up the leather rubbing it well. After he did that the mitt was ready to catch balls.

The same goes for these M.I.L.F.’s that we listed today. You rub these sweet things down with a little oil and they will be catching more balls than you can throw. It’s not about the quantity though, it’s about the intimate feel that only a mother can give. They know how to be tender to us when we need that reassurance, and they can be stern when it’s time to correct our step. Moms are dope. Every woman should be mom. Every man should love a mother, but not his own. We don’t cosign that type of shit here at this site.

M.I.L.F. (from 30yrs old to 49yrs old)

STACEY DASH
Honestly, STACEY DASH’s pics in the recent issue of Playboy turned me out. Didn’t her B.D. CHRISTOPHER WILLIAMS pass away inside the drive thru at a Mrs. Winner’s restaurant in A.T.L.?

PHOEBE CATES
I wanted to give her my mogwai since way back in the ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’ days. Remember that scene when JUDGE RHEINHOLD gets caught out there beating his manhood out to a daydream of her? No brokeback to remembering J.R. masturbating.

JASMINE GUY
JASMINE owes us a piece of that stinky power U. since the first episode of ‘A Different World’. I am going to try to break the headboard with her forehead for all of the high-yellow AKA cotillion debutantes that would never let me smell it.

G.I.L.F. (from 50yrs old to 69yrs old)

SHEILA E.
Another one of PRINCE’s ex-ladies whose bath water I would drink from a champagne flute.

CYBILL SHEPHERD
When she was a teenager she let fat ELVIS beat out her seat. She was from Memphis, he was a god, yada, yada, yada. I would take Burger King’s sloppy seconds so you know I am down to moonlight with CYBILL.

FLORENCE HENDERSON
Mrs.Brady likes Black rods. Why do you think she spent all those years trying to learn how to fry chicken in Wesson oil? Hey Mrs.Brady, how large was that Black guy that schtooped you last night?

LaTOYA JACKSON
Do not sleep on LaTOYA. I would hit her before JANET because LaTOYA has a clef in her chin. Clef chin = cum cup.

G.G.I.L.F. (from 70yrs old to eternity)

DIAHANN CARROLL
Way before she was a bitchy blaristocrat she was an entertainment triple threat. A dancer, a singer and a top shelf pin up model. Put that ‘DreamGirls’ wig on the shelf tonight baby because we are gonna get sweaty and dirty.