Archive for November, 2005

BILLY SUNDAY Begs the Ladies:
NO MORE HYPHENS PLEASE!

Thursday, November 3rd, 2005

omaroacha MANIGAULT-STALLWORTH

On sight unseen I can pick out the professional Black women in a symposium or conference just by reading the names listed on the program. Not because Black women have first names that ethnically seperate them from others, but because Black women now have surnames that ethnically red flag their presence. Is it my paranoia or does every Black woman that gets married now retain their maiden name? The first major example for me was Ms.HUXTABLE, the beautiful PHYLICIA AYERS-ALLEN. She dropped the AYERS-ALLEN for almost a decade while she played the part of the better half of AHMAD RASHAD. Who, by the way, I have never really smelled without his moustache(no homo). Now Ms.PHYLICIA has returned to the AYERS-ALLEN surname, and not a moment too soon. From esteemed authors like, ZORA NEALE-HURSTON and BeBe MOORE-CAMPBELL, to social critics and teachers like KIMBERLY CHABOT-DAVIS one thing is for certain. Black chicks are getting their hyphen on!

I can imagine the sociological reasons for this trend. Black women have made tremendous progress in all aspects of american society. They have come from the maid’s room to the center seat in the board room. Black men are lagging far behind their supposed counterparts on the educational front when considering the completion of grades 10 and above. With all this effort, the reward is an economic independence never imagined in previous generations. Who would have imagined that the most beloved woman in American culture would be the 200 horsepower, automatic transmission, gift giving OPRAH WINFREY. If she says a book is good then it must be true. If she says that Black men’s closeted homosexuality is the reason why there is an epidemic of HIV affecting Black women… IT MUST BE TRUE! Oprah’s poo really does smell like roses.

So I get annoyed when I see Black women credited with something and their name is hyphenated. I am not annoyed with these women, but instead, it’s their player hater husbands that have me pissed off. If you know that your wife is ballin’ out of control, you should take on HER last name. VERONIE K. STEELE-SMALL of the Los Angeles County Fire Department is the first African American women to be promoted to the rank of captain in the Dept’s history. Her husband should have had the good sense to realize that her maiden name of ‘STEELE’ was way more gangster than his last name ‘SMALL’. Her joint even has the final ‘E’ on the back as well.

This is completely a new world in a new millenium. The post 9-11 era is all about changing the rules for perception on everything. If my girlfriend has a better sounding last name than SUNDAY or she is making more cheddar than the kid, then we will rock her last name no problemo. This way we can keep those (-) characters where I am used to seeing them… on my checking account statment.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH:
Ms.JACKSON

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005

her brother is clayface

DAME D’ASS Got A New Suit

Tuesday, November 1st, 2005

McNugget

Yo I swear I was about to write a glowing post about DAME D’ASS this week. Something to the effect that without him there would have been no ROC-A-FELLA Records and without him JAY-Z would still be rhyming like one of the Fu-Schnickens, but then ol’ Chicken McNugget head goes and gets himself a new suit, and I’m not talking about one of those rags from RACHEL ROY. Your boy done got himself a lawsuit.

Two Los Angeles producers have filed suit against DAMON DASH claiming he stole their idea for B.E.T.’s hip-hop reality show “Ultimate Hustler”. JOHN COLEMAN and JOHN RHODES filed suit in Los Angeles Superior Court Oct. 11 charging DASH with breach of implied in-fact contract and breach of confidence, AllHipHop.com reports. The lawsuit claims DASH stole the premise for his show from the plaintiffs’ reality show pitch, “Mogul,” which they registered in February 2004 with the Writers Guild of America. They claim they met with DASH in March 2004 and asked if he would be their show’s host and he agreed to keep confidential what they revealed about their show. Before anything was finalized on their show, they claim, DASH got his “Ultimate Hustler” on the cable B.E.T. network. The suit seeking unspecified monetary damages also names B.E.T., Damon Dash Music Group, Dash Films and Huck Films.

RECKLESS EYEBALLIN’ 101

Tuesday, November 1st, 2005

b'z p'z

Even though Mother may not have her cap tight that is still no reason for TOURE to trip.

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!?
GET YOUR HAND OUT MY POCKET!

Tuesday, November 1st, 2005

handsfree

In a move that is certain to cost me more money at some juncture, the Federal Communications Commission has approved the acquisition requests of telecom mega-giants S.B.C. and Verizon.

S.B.C. will buy out American Telegraph and Telephone, which recently merged with Cingular and Verizon will assume the shares of M.C.I. which is the parent company of Sprint.

All these changes mean that the last remaining telecom company that I don’t owe any money to yet is T-Mobile.