Archive for December, 2005

DOCTOR BILLY SUNDAY Explains ANAL BLEACHING

Sunday, December 25th, 2005

blacklove

LADIES!!!!

Do you remember when it was maintenance enough for you to get a manicure and a pedicure? Maybe you might even have your eyebrows threaded by the indian chicks if you were going to be giving up the cooch to someone for the first time. It seems to me that being a beautiful woman was always a process, but I am here to tell you that things just got a little more involved.

more blacklove

Because of crap stars like LIL’ KIM there are more women willing to participate in the classic Greco-Roman position for lovemaking. Whether you are an old French pro or a rookie, the most important thing is that you maintain your TCRB. That’s short for Total Colo-Rectal Beauty. You don’t want your lover to think that your poop chute has been traveled as frequently as an interstate highway. To return the youthful luster and sheen to your nether region Dr.WILLIAM H. SUNDAY advises that you practice some Anal Bleaching.

Anal bleaching is just one non-invasive procedure that supports the maintainenance of your Total Colo-Rectal Beauty. Vigorous washing and aloe vera baby wipes are all TCRB components that not only help hygiene but also assist in restoring the appearance of lost elasticity and youthful innocence.

what's love got to do with it?

Bottoms up!

MOMMY! Hide Me the Rethuglicans are Coming!

Sunday, December 25th, 2005

grand moff condi

Shouts to IAN from Different Kitchen for the above image inspiration…

These are interesting and desperate times for the BUSH administration.

G.W. has been busy trying to convince everyone that we aren’t actually looking at his hands in the cookie jar. Do you remember when BILL CLINTON emphatically said that he “DID NOT have sexual relations with that woman?” He tried the old Jedi mind trick on us that OBI-WAN used on those stormtroopers at Mos Eisley. These guys think that if they say something without cracking a smile we will automatically believe them.

This current administration has been so inept and so dishonest that I think we would be willing to accept almost anything for a president the next time around.

CONDARTH anyone?!?

condarth

BILLY SUNDAY’s Holiday Gift Guidebook

Sunday, December 25th, 2005

jose

‘MY LITTLE LATINO’ U.S. Servicemen Edition

The tag reads: “JOSE is from the Domincan Republic and he tried to make a better life for himself and his sixteen brothers and sisters by swimming to America.

When JOSE was apprehended by the Immigration and Naturalization Service while working at a K-Mart in Biscayne, Florida, JOSE was given the choice of deportation or enlisting in the armed services. Because JOSE isn’t an actual citizen of the United States, he is prohibited from carrying a gun but he supports the troops in other ways.

JOSE is an ambitious assistant chef, he is supervisor of the barracks cleaning staff and he plays the drums for the U.S. Army Corp Marching Band.”

Batteries not included.

strike up da band

BOONDOCKS 0n Broadway

Sunday, December 25th, 2005

lil' huey

T.V.’s most popular new show, the BOONDOCKS, will debut a live actor production on New York City’s famed ‘Great White Way’ early in 2006.

Editor’s note: That last piece of information isn’t true but I couldn’t think of a better way to post my baby pictures

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: J_LO

Sunday, December 25th, 2005

j_e_l_l_o

Merry Christmas to APPLE HALSEY. She sent me this one.