Archive for May, 2006

I Blame RUSH LIMBAUGH…

Wednesday, May 17th, 2006

pierce

Even though teenage drinking and teenage smoking have reported declines the truth is that teens are still getting high. How they are getting high I want to blame on the obese talk show host RUSH LIMBAUGH.

Since the Florida district attorney has allowed him to plea down from the illegal possession of prescription drugs there has been a boon of teens using their parents’ stash of OxyContin and other assorted prescription pills. Why? Because it doesn’t appear to be illegal. You don’t have to score your fix inside a darkened alleyway like those other people. Prescription pills are delivered over the counter and there is no stigma attached to that even if you receive say, 2,000 pills in a 6 month period like RUSH did.

In the meantime, the end result is that there is a generation of drug dependent young people who can’t work to pay down the federal deficit or help the social security system retain its solvency.

Somebody pass me the dutchie.

MITCH ‘BLOOD’ GREEN: That Jig’s STILL Crazy

Tuesday, May 16th, 2006

blood

So on my way home to the edge of the planet(Long Island, NY) I rode the subway with professional boxing and street thug legend MITCH ‘Blood’ GREEN. MITCH has an engaging personality and when I called him “champ” he opened right up and kicked it with me.

MITCH was more famous for what he did outside the ring as much as for what he accomplished inside the ropes. When MITCH ran into MIKE TYSON one night after hours in Harlem, he suffered his greatest defeat. MIKE gave ‘Blood’ a bloody nose that required a few stitches for good measure. That was the beginning of the end for MITCH. He was managed by DON KING and advised by ROY INNIS. Both men conspired to defraud him of all his earnings. MITCH still had choice words for TYSON, but he doesn’t feel like calling him a homo anymore. Instead MITCH now just uses the word asshole. MITCH criticized TYSON’s expenditures and said that deserved to be broke if he is going to buy “lions, tigers and baboons.”

blood

The story of MITCH ‘Blood’ GREEN is still played out in the entertainment business. Soon I expect to be riding the subway with JIM JONES and TONY YAYO. Much props to MITCH GREEN. Too bad for him that DON KING runs this rap shit.

DICK’s REEYATCH, BEEEYATCH!

Tuesday, May 16th, 2006

bossman

The Vice President’s financial disclosure forms are public info and it seems that the high price of gas won’t be a problem for him.

If I ruled the world
Huh, huh, huh, huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
I’d love all the girls, I love ’em, love ’em baby!!
Black diamonds and pearls, ooh yeah, yeah
If I ruled the world…

The 2006 She-Man Prom Photo Album

Tuesday, May 16th, 2006

shim

You demanded it. Your overwhelming enthusiasm with the annual H.A.M. awards has forced BLU CHEEZ to dig further into the internets for the kind of content that you, the viewer, wants to see. Really crazy people living really crazy lives doing really crazy things. On Sunday at the commencement for Spelman College, BILL COSBY was telling Black women to ‘man up’ since all the bothers are in prison now. Guess what BILL, they all aren’t in prison, but the sisters still need to man up because the fellas are dressing down. I blame white tees.

I don’t know what to say to BLU CHEEZ about this collection. It is disturbing on several different levels. You are compelled to stare at it like a car accident. Trying to make heads (no B.B.) or tails (extra no B.B.) out of the wreckage. This was evidently a special event because the scenery appears hand made and not store bought. Maybe it was a graduation ceremony and these students are moving up to a newer, larger, more prestigious academy where they will be taught the special art of ‘tucking’ and ‘sashaying’.

Maybe it’s just a bunch of trannies who rented an auditorium and decided to do things up the only way they know how – absolutely fabulous.

The 2006 She-Man Prom Photo Album

The DA VINCI CODE Is Bringing People Together

Tuesday, May 16th, 2006

j.c.

What’s the one thing that Muslims and Roman Catholics can agree upon? It’s that the DA VINCI CODE desrves two thumbs down. And TOM HANKS hairstyle was meh.

The two groups have come together in Bombay to protest the release of ‘The DA VINCI CODE’ in theaters. The biggest issue with the movie is the theory that JESUS was married to MARY MAGDALENE and she got preggers with his seed. I like the notion of the big J.C. doing his freak-a-leak with the whore stripper exotic dancer that rolled with his crew.

I think it’s funny too that people in Bombay object to this movie when that is one of the places in southern Asia where you can score 13yr. old poon on the regular. Just so long as your not J.C.