A few weeks ago CURTIS JACKSON considered embroiling himself in a beef with the King of All Jigs over weedcarrier MASE’s status with G-Unit. Good thing for FIDDY that his handlers gave him another scheme to get promotion.
The last person in Hip-Hop that you want to fuck with sideways is PUFF DIDDY. He has single handedly ruined the careers of countless rappers, producers and staffers within the entertainment industry. We all know where B.I.G. is now, but what about CRAIG MACK, SUPERCAT, TOTAL, SHYNE, BLACK ROB and the irrepressible SUGE KNIGHT? It’s gotten so bad for LOON that he has taken to doing barbershop holdups in Harlem.
From a business aspect FIDDY is a maverick Hip Hop impresario for channeling his thug character into book deals and feature length films, but FIDDY’s character has a shelf life. DIDDY however, is built to last. He might very well be Hip-Hop’s QUINCY JONES. There was never an artist that Q couldn’t take production credits from. Just saying good morning to Q at the office meant that you owed him points off your album. Until DIDDY came along there was no other producer that actually produced less. Still there is one ability that DIDDY possesses that not even the great Q can do.
DIDDY can resurrect himself from the dead.
Do you know how many times DIDDY has been thrown under the bus only to get back up again? At this point you have to reognize that he is the greatest negro ever second only to Jesus Christ and even J.C. couldn’t bring himself back to life as often as PUFF.
Let’s take a look at a tale of the tape on how a DIDDY vs. FIDDY matchup might have played out…
| ENDURING PUBLIC IMAGE second rate magazine mugshots |
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ENDURING PUBLIC IMAGE jetskiing in a tuxedo. |
| PRIME TIME ROMANTIC DYSFUNCTION |
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PRIMETIME ROMANTIC DYSFUNCTION J. HO |
| FIDDY ARCH NEMESIS RATING JA RULE +5 |
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DIDDY ARCH NEMESIS RATING SUGE KNIGHT +10 |
| FIDDY EARLY HIP-HOP AFFILIATION ONYX |
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DIDDY EARLY HIP-HOP AFFILIATION I.O.U. dancers. |
| TOP TALENT TO RECEIVE GUNSHOTS Himself. |
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TOP TALENT TO RECEIVE GUNSHOTS Notorious B.I.G. |
| CELEBRITY CLOSELY RESEMBLING FIDDY Fred G. Sanford. |
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CELEBRITY CLOSELY RESEMBLING DIDDY BOBBY BROWN |
When you add up these factors you will agree that DIDDY is just way more hardbody than FIDDY. It really wasn’t even close, once you take into account that DIDDY is famous for shooting while 50 became famous for being shot.
