Editor’s note: If no one in the world evar read this shitty blog again it wouldn’t matter to me because the one person that I can count on through thick and thin has already pledged her love to me. I don’t make it any easier on her than I should because I’m selfish and egotistical, but she is patience personified. Just when I want to quit and give up trying and return to my emotional basement she reminds me of what it is that made me believe in myself the first place – Love.
Dearheart,
As I’ve watched you struggle over the past year with your creative and personal commitments to yourself, and to your family, both biological and familial, I’ve often marveled at your tenacity. You hang on, gleefully reveling in the knowledge that though you may be 20 stories in the air, you are still 20 stories in the air.
What a view, you exclaim with utter sincerity, one fingernail dug in the ledge.
It’s scary to see the man I love walk the fine line, and sometimes slip, lose his grip, maybe even slice a toe. With each and every occurrence I’ve discovered that it is possible to both stop time and lose time, all in the same breath. How often have I lurched forward, hand outstretched to catch a flailing arm, only to realize that I am too far away, that you are on the other side of the glass, that the inches have betrayed us. And yet I rush forward every time, stopped just short of the reflection you wish me to see.
Your bravery is astounding. As is your willingness to lose your toes. I try not to reflect on what happens if you are shorn of your balance and have nothing left to lose. I hope that there is always more to lose, more to keep you hanging on.
My god, what a view.
