Archive for November, 2006

SPIDER-MAN 3 Is Gonna Be Huge!

Monday, November 13th, 2006

spidey

Best. Spider. Man. Movie.

Evar.

DALLAS PENN Hearts SPY Magazine

Monday, November 13th, 2006

spy

This year is the twentieth anniversary of what I will argue is the most influential magazine in the last… Twenty years.

SPY magazine was a monthly tribute to the festering underbelly of politics, economics and society in New York City and in America. They featured fleshed out exposes that illuminated the depravity and ginormous greed in corporate cultures like Wall Street and Madison Avenue. SPY magazine was that CEO’s personal assistant spilling the beans about who was bilking the company out of their retirement fund savings. DONALD TRUMP and his horrible hairpieces were always placed on Front Street.

spy

You can’t imagine the party that was thrown when SPY finally shuttered their doors. It was a great relief to the classless upper-class that they could finally return to their normal obnoxious state of being. They could kick up the legs and dance without SPY magazine nipping at their well-heeled heels. Here’s a rundown of some of the usual suspects that were featured in SPY magazine who might not have remained so prominent in the public eye if the magazine was still on the shelves. PAT ROBERTSON, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, BILL COSBY, NANCY REAGAN, LIZ SMITH, BILL CLINTON, MARTHA STEWART, PAUL McCARTNEY, DONALD TRUMP, OPRAH WINFREY, HILLARY CLINTON, GEORGE BUSH Sr.

spy

My english teacher in Brooklyn Tech H.S. would bring in all sorts of publications for us to read. From the New York Times to Vanity Fair to The Observer. All those rags were lily white and they spoke to me as if I weren’t good enough to touch the paper they were printed on, but SPY magazine made fun of the whole lot. It stripped away pretension and privilege by showing that those who flaunt it the most deserve it the least.

It’s true that I knowingly co-opted the ‘Seperated At Birth’ theme from SPY, but what I failed to remember is that they also used to run a ‘Celebrity Math’ feature. I will tell you in a New York City minute that SPY magazine’s writing is what has birthed my sense of quasi-journalism and as I scan the blogosphere and even broadcast television I can see that the spirit of that magazine lives on. From Gawker to the Daily Show there are an endless amount of outlets carrying SPY’s DNA code of spot on humor and razor sharp snark.

If I could have told the editor’s of the magazine twenty years ago that GEORGE BUSH Sr’s drunken son would be a two term president and that ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER would be governor of California and that DONALD TRUMP would climb out of bankruptcy to become the King of New York City real estate they prah’lee would have told me to go ‘Get A Life’.

spy

The Monday Morning Quarterback Wk.10

Monday, November 13th, 2006

ouch

I am so NOT baaaaaaalllin’ right now. This was a master upset weekend and I was on the wrong side of everything. Props to the J.E.T.S. and everyone who was flying high with those dudes. I can’t wait to look at the point total to see who caked up this weekend. I just know it’s gonna be nervous. Will CANDICE finally relent her grip on the number one spot? Who will be the high point winner? How real is this football pool?

A quick point for next week’s pool. RD submitted his picks 8 minutes after kickoff today. I’m not disqualifying him(this time) because he writes for the site, but from here on in if your picks arent recorded by Saturday, or the day BEFORE the first games’ kickoff your picks will be invalid. As we get towards the conclusion of the season I don’t want anybody to complain about cheating or anything improper from the pool management. We are still hungry for a sponsor for the grand prize winner and we don’t want our pool to seem mafia accessible like college football.

So now it’s time to add up the points and see what the drilly is. Cross your fingers…

THE DALLAS – 3 pts (37)
CANDICE = 2 pts (42)
TIFFANY = 4 pts (37)
40 DAWG aka Sgt. VERNON WATERS = 4 pts (39)
J trademark= 4 pts (21)
LM = 3 pts (39)
AMADEO = 6 pts (40)
JESSE = 3 pts (29)
SHONQUAYSHAH= 5 pts (41)
Mr.KAMOJI = 4 pts (40)
EL A IN THE D = 5 pts (29)
SASQUATCHFART = 6 pts (32)
PRYNSEX = 5 pts (35)
S DOT = 3 pts (34)
ALEX2.0 = 8 pts (40)*all four (4) Bonus Points
ESBEE = 4 pts (10)*
RD = 3 pts (31)

**TRUE STORY – I wrote this out on Sunday night after the first half of the Giants – Bears game. When I woke up this morning to go to work I checked the final score of the late nite game and lo and behold the Da’ Bears spanked the Jints**

I’m blown away that there were 11 points on the table and no one other than ALEX2.0 scored more than 8 this week. Get your weight up party people. CANDICE is still the truth. She picks weeks to be down on her picks and no one else can seem to touch her. I don’t expect her to go through a slump for the rest of the pool so if you don’t com razor sharp you are going to start to feel the squeeze out. Six more weeks to go and it’s going down to the wire.

da bearsDA’ BEARS – DITKA AND DALLAS

GAYME Is The Doctor’s Advocate (extra nullus)

Sunday, November 12th, 2006

In what I suppose you would call art imitating life you can see the situation that JAYCEON TAYLOR has found himself in and you wonder if all of his imagined and actual tribulations stem from a romantic relationship that was doomed from the start. Here is an artist that was part of a record label (Aftermath) for several years before he could finally release his first CD. The inner politics of the label’s business transferred his material to another label subsidiary (G-Unit). In effect, he was passed down like a groupie goes from the talent down to the roadies. That fact alone is enough to spoil someone’s self-image especially when you are rebuked by your mentor and your childhood hero. All is fair in love, war and business, and I think that the GAYME situation with Aftermath, G-Unit, FISTY and DRE is a combination of all three.

Can you imagine how GAYME must have first felt when DRE told him that he didn’t have to strip dance any longer? Here was DRE, his hero, his white knight, rescuing him from a life of hustling. But GAYME started playing DRE too close. There were other hustlers that needed DRE’s warm touch and at 26 years old GAYME wasn’t getting any better, he was only getting older.

Having your heart broken can make you do some strange shit. How else do you explain the erratic behavior that JAYCEON has exhibited since the release of his multi-platinum debut CD? Senseless arrests and unprovoked aggression are the stereotypical cRap artist protocol, but GAYME seemed to be crying out for help in a public forum. He had something that he wanted to say and gangster cRap music has no love for them ho’s or love songs that don’t speak of material love. GAYME wanted to tell DRE that he loved him, but the doctor wasn’t making house calls. The doctor wasn’t even picking up the phone. So GAYME did what he had to do. He went into the recording studio and he crafted a love letter to DRE. Over classic DRE inspired west coast beats GAYME has put his heart on the line.

I guess gangstas can make love songs after all. That’s why GAYME is the doctor’s Advocate. Extra super meta nullus to this entire post.

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Sunday, November 12th, 2006

This is going to be the final Sneaker Fiends post for the year since I don’t plan any new acquisitions until 2007. I hope that I can illustrate inside this post why the sneaker passion is a serious thing for me. I consider my shoes to be art, wearable sculpture if you will. There is a design aesthetic contained in the shoes that I appreciate. A craftsmanship that can’t be fabricated by just anyone. I like to imagine that my shoes are made by a little old man in the mountains of China. His hands have assembled so many shoes that he could shape a pair from memory without a cut sheet or a spec.

old man river

The shoes that I am describing in this post are called the NIKE Air Max 1 CLOT a/k/a ‘The Kiss of Death’. The details contained on this shoe are incredible. First you have to consider the premium materials used in making the upper. Calfskin suede, ostrich leather, snakeskin and a clear plastic panel in the forefoot. When you wear these shoes you need to have your sock game on 100. The coup de grĂ¢ce for me is the printed graphic on the insoles.

NIKE only released a very limited number and many a collector spent an evening camping out in front of their favorite sneaker emporium to score these. The shoes retailed for $175.

NIKE Air Max 1 CLOT