Archive for December, 2006

Still Gay, And Still G.O.O.D. Music…

Tuesday, December 12th, 2006

legend

I’m gonna be the first guy on the internets to admit that I enjoyed the JOHN LEGEND debut album. No Boutros Boutros Boutros to that admission. While I’m coming clean I should also admit that I have a greatest hits collection from Krispy Kreme queen LUTHER VANDROSS. These albums are essential grown and sexy accessories and they can help to loosen the clothing up of even the toughest Black bitch you have evar tried to scrape. Of course, I say bitch in only the most loving and endearing of ways.

When my folks fom the Negro network called me up to piece me my quarterly allotment of record label swag they included two(2) R & B CD’s that they said I had to hear. I knew JOHN LEGEND had a new disk on the streets, but I hadn’t heard too much from it. I don’t listen to commercial radio too tough either and they only seem to play R & B from the person whose name I will not mention until he publicly apologizes to JANET JACKSON for calling her a nigger.

The other R & B CD in my package was from ROBIN THICKE a/k/a Vanilla MAXWELL. I’ve heard some of his stuff over the internets and at first I thought it was a MAXWELL comeback until I saw the video with LIL’ WEASLE in it.

weazle

ROBIN THICKE’s album is formulaic R & B which doesn’t make it trash, it just makes it predictable. Looking for love, falling in love and falling out of love. Rinse, wash, repeat. I will give dude a pass since it’s the first CD of his that I’m hearing and because blue-eyed soul isn’t in any danger of becoming trendy since white dudes are finding guitars again like Sam Ash were having a fire sale. THICKE whines all over the disk and its hard to not think about how much better this CD would sound if it were MAXWELL instead. The only knock against THICKE would be that his style needs some more evolving. If I didn’t get this CD for free from B.E.T. I would prah’lee still download it. I give this CD 1.5 LUTHERS

luther

ROBIN THICKE – ‘Lost Without You’

I like teasing JOHN LEGEND because he is obviously KANGAY’s kept man. Again, that means nothing when talking about his musical acumen for which dude is certainly talented. I don’t get the same fake piano playing that ALICIA KEYS exudes. LEGEND appears to actually compose his songs which is the rarest of all talents in a pop music driven market.

‘Once Again’ finds JOHN LEGEND doing what he is best at by creating funky, melodic, new millenium, new jack swing, new soul tracks. He drifts out of love and into wanderlust so often it’s impossible to figure out where his head is at (extra NO CLAY AIKEN) during any given moment. I think that’s why I enjoyed the album too. There’s nothing too heavy going on in here, even the track sung about a soldier waiting to get home to his lady(ha!) doesn’t feel weighted down. Basically, this is the kind of shit that I will put into the CD player when I take my ladybug to the Applebee’s drive-thru, or wherever it is you people go when you want to have a ‘classy’ night out.

LEGEND’s has a smoother than silk persona that evokes another R & B legend with ‘good hair’, Mr. LIONEL RICHIE. I’m not saying that JOHN LEGEND is on par with the capo of the Care Free Curl Mafia, but he is on his way to having a career that will get him extended runs in Vegas. LUTHER VANDROSS’ shiny sequined jacket may have found it’s new owner. ‘Once Again’ gets 2.5 LUTHERS and should be downloaded from lemonwire or whatever it is the kids are using.

luther

JOHN LEGEND – ‘Heaven’

JOHN LEGEND – ‘Stereo’

G DUBBZ TUNES OUT TONE DEAF CLONES…

Tuesday, December 12th, 2006

clones

In what has become a tidal wave of tremendous fuck ups the Administration has decided to go on a listening tour for advice on how to resolve the crisis in Iraq. The President has been lukewarm so far on the findings of the bipartisan panel that was convened to make a report on Iraq.

I can’t say I blame G DUBBZ either because going to Iran and Syria from a point of necessity makes G DUBBZ look weak, and let’s face it, being an American is all about appearances, and not whether you have enough money in the bank to pay for that new Mercedes in your driveway or that big screen TV in your living room.

I normally like to consult G DUBBZ on political issues, but frankly, I’m stumped myself. How did SADDAM control this nation that is seemingly filled to the gills with roadside bombs? Obviously, he was more than simply a tyrant because if that were the case and people had a foot in their azz everyday the Iraqi people would have been much happier to see us on their soil. It took the United States several decades to put SADDAM in his position of power. We don’t have the time or the luxury any longer to cultivate someone from that nation that can lord over the Iraqis totally. It’s a wild azz free for all with no end in sight.

I don’t think that it’s enough to ask historians and retired generals what they think about the situation. The best advisors that the Administration has are the clone troopers inside the desert. From the field generals down to the foot soldiers we should be able to hear their feedback without filters. They have the best assessment for the actual progress that we have made. Do they feel any safer since they have landed in Iraq? Do they feel any progress within the hearts of the Iraqis? Our soldiers in the dirt should be where we put our attention primarily, and not the armchair generals that sent us into the desert in the first place

PUDDING POP SUPERFREAK

Tuesday, December 12th, 2006

coz

I don’t want to risk the reputation of this website by becoming a haven for supremacist conspiracies. Although they are real and put into play every single day I don’t want to lose focus with the meta-reality that we can all touch. Still and all, something inside me tells me that BILL COSBY angered some really powerful T.I.’s when he attempted to purchase a broadcasting network. What in the world was Cliff Huxtable thinking? Doesn’t he know who runs this rap shiite?!?

There’s been a flurry of women coming up out of the woodwork accusing Dr. Huxtable of being a mezzler. Some of these women were as young as 18 when they say that BILL made them his version of the MICHAEL JACKSON ‘Jesus Juice’ cocktail which shall be heretofore known as the ‘Pudding Pop’. These women are claiming that the concoction was extremely potent and that they have even blacked out from it’s effects. Now I don’t doubt that COSBY has a taste for the tender young flesh since he has kids outside of his house, but I don’t want to say that he has to drug these broads to get at the poonahnee.

My proof is Flava Flav. Celebrity is enough of a narcotic that women will chase after Flav for a little bit of fame. Do I think that some naive, green, wannabe actresss has enough confidence to handle herself in the powerful world of COSBY’s showbiz connections? Hell naw! These chicks are giving COZ that young bootyhole after a night out with that dude. Yes, that poopchute sweetness.

I don’t want to sound like I am making a blanket endorsement for COSBY’s behavior, but isn’t a little fling with a mature, rich guy better than one of those crazy, emotional affairs with a young guy that ends in a domestic violence charge? Guys like COSBY can afford dinners at restaurants like City Crab, instead of eating takeout from Taste of the Sea in a styrofoam tray. What’s better than feeling like a high priced hooker? It’s got to do wonders for your complexion. My problem with these young whores is that they think the money train runs forever. If you blew all your chips on Manolo Blahniks and didn’t invest in a Hooker IRA Roth why should COZ have to still pick up the tab?

I can’t be mad at the curmudgeonly COZ either since he was a longtime pitchman for one of the greatest products known to man…

Jell-O motherfuckin’ pudding.

pudding

pudding

pudding

Who Is Gonna Take The Weight?!?

Monday, December 11th, 2006

eff the po

The rapper PAPOOSE deserves some kind of award for being the ONLY street poet to record a verse or more about the SEAN BELL murder. Oh yeah, my bad, GRAF has a track floating around the internets too. Hip-Hop is dead when here in the artistic birthplace of rap no one with a record deal wants to say shit about this man’s murder. Niggas will jump on a Jim Jones remix with the quickness to talk about their money stacks, but as far as recognizing the ‘hood and the people that eke out a living on the remnants of these crack strewn streets there isn’t even a peep. Not even a mixtape track from the Street’s Disciple who claims Queens all the time. Nothing from your boy FISTY either, who incidentally comes from the same neighborhood as SEAN BELL. These fools are the first to talk shit about picking up a gun against someone who looks at them sideways or steps on their sneakers, but the last to admit that their attitude influences a generation of youth. There are too many men in Hip-Hop raised by women alone. Bitchmade.

In the wake of the SEAN BELL murder I give you readers a lot of credit for keeping this issue front and center in your hearts. In only a few short years we were given the direct information on how the devil brought the pain of crack cocaine into our lives by trading guns and death all the way from Central America. We learned how the prison industrial complex is a private, for-profit entity that needs more bodies to help the shareholders increase their inhuman stock earnings. America eats its young, and soon little Black boys won’t be enough.

Do you realize the the Bloods and Crips organizations are supported by the government much the same way that the NAACP and Urban League are. Think about this… The Black Panther Party was into home schooling kids and free lunch programs before they were dismantled by the Federal government. Here it is three decades in and the Bloods and Crips are even bigger than they ever were. And still no free lunches for the people.

Who is gonna take the weight?

eff the po

The Monday Morning Quarterback Wk.14

Sunday, December 10th, 2006

ouch

I hope y’all are having fun right now. I know JESSE is. Some of you have really gotten a handle on the Bonus Points Heavy Roller system. It can make a bad week a good one and a good week a great week. Some of you clowns bubbled crazily while I had a worst week evar. Oh well, thank GOD there’s still a next week. Let’s add up the points…

THE DALLAS = 2 pts (61)
CANDICE = 11 pts (66)
“Ashy to Classy” 40 Blassie = 9 pts (64)
LM = 6 pts (64)
AMADEO = 8 pts (69)
JESSE = 14 pt (49)
Mr.KAMOJI = 8 pts (65)
SASQUATCHFART = 9 pts (64)
J trademark= 25 pts (51)
PRYNSEX = 11 pts (63)
S DOT = 5 pts (63)
ALEX2.0 = 7 pts (64)
ESBEE = 12 pts (39)

Duty calls me right now so we will pick this discussion up later this week. Here’s a quick prediction. Whoever gets to 100 points wins the pool.