I am thinking of a master plan along with kitty cat. I suppose it’s time for me to grow up and get serious about being some kind of dude that writes shit. There’s only but so much that I can do for myself and kitty as a blogger. Real world writers don’t consider me one, and neither do journalists. It’s like bloggers are the Mexicans of the written word. No offense to all my Mexican blogger friends.
And why shouldn’t bloggers get the respect accorded to mainstrem media? Is it because we sit in our parent’s basement instead of a television studio? None of that should even matter. It’s just that I feel like we do the heavy lifting that newsroom editors get props for.
Do I waste your time with useless information?
Okay, but do I do that ALL of the time?
Alright, but don’t I at least write something decent once a week?
Once a month?
Maybe this is why I haven’t been able to break out of blogging. I suck ballsachs [ll] at writing.
Before I dropped out of high school I had an English teacher who hated my guts. She told me to kill myself. After I got my G.E.D. and went to college I has an English professor accuse me of plagiarism because she couldn’t believe the shit I wrote came from me. So I dropped out of college. I didn’t plagiarize that piece and I didn’t drop out because my professor’s didn’t believe in me. I left school because I didn’t believe in me.
The kid needed a pick-me-up this past week that I hoped would get my focus and attitude adjusted to finishing up my memoir about coming of age in the urban metropolis of NYC. I figured I would blow through one of my favorite buildings in the city to siphon off some of the energy that it has always given me. The American Museum of Natural History is a tremendous facility just from the standpoint of its exterior architecture. It invokes my earliest memories of American castlea like the mansions in Cape Cod and Newport.
Inside the museum it is simply an unbelievable head trip to see things that exist or previously did on this planet. The Smithsonian is of course the G.O.A.T. of this museum shit, but nothing beats the “pay what you wish” entry fee at AMNH. The first place you have to visit is the Hall of Biodiversity. Also known as the ‘Can’t We All Just Get Along For Thirty Million Years Room’. That’s where they have these exhibits of ocean life and a full-size model of a blue whale suspended from the ceiling. I had to go through to see my cousins the grizzly bears.
GOD created man the same way he made animals that is why some people resemble tigers and monkeys, some people look like birds and some folks smell like bears. I recognize my bear lineation from my ability to eat food off the ground and also the fact that I can sleep for several months in a row without pooping myself. Bears are also pretty resourceful as wild animals.
Nothing compares to the dinosaur exhibits in this museum though. I remember how big these animals appeared when I was a child. They aren’t as large anymore in my eyesight, but for whatever reason they appear even stranger now.
The flying dinosaurs are crazy. They remind me Terry the pterodactyl from Pee Wee’s Playhouse. I think of them as always smiling although there had to be some moments where a pterodactyl was sad, or at least melancholy. Now an animal with a smile is the O.G. shark. I believe it is called the sharkosaurus and if it isn’t then someone needs to copyright that name just in case sharkosauruses come back to life. Your attorney can subpoena them and be like, “You sharkosauruses owe us several million Paleolithic dollars.” Can you imagine the interest on that money now? I don’t think they used dollars back then, but if they did I wonder who was on the two dollar bill?
The point of this drop was that I was feeling sorry for myself for being a bum that eats tuna from the can along with kitty when I realized that the fish that I need to swim with are the sharks. Everybody loves Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. I really want to take my shit to that next-next but to do so I am going to have to go in deep. I may drown myself with emotion.
Shit can get so real…
