Archive for April, 2008

MIAMI’s FIRST AND LONG…

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

jake long

Miami Dolphins’ savior, first round pick from Michigan JAKE LONG is being rumored to be the NFL’s anti-christ. The talk is that the first pick requires so much money in a guaranteed signing bonus that if he turns into a bust it will bankrupt the team that signed him.

I don’t believe that shit for a minute…

The NFL has a gaggle of sponsors who clamber over one another to be seen on game day as the “official” so and so of the league. Last season, the NFL made billions for itself on the whole, and then generated trillions of dollars in consumerism. The money to pay these players is certainly available, but the greedy franchise owners don’t want to bite into their mega-profit margins.

Think for a second about the billions of dollars in ad revenue that was accrued from the Super Bowl this year (I say billions because the 2006 contest totaled $1.59B in ad money). This league is making ridiculous money and they only have a season where they play one tenth the number of games they do in baseball. NFL owners need to respect these draft picks and pay them their money.

Its not like the owners give a shit about the veterans who are physically decrepit from years of running into other people at full speed, and mentally unstable from years of taking lord-knows-what painkillers and pills.

POLITRICKS 2008: Poll Dancing Fatigue…

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

brak

Remember when the early polls gave New Hampshire to CLINTON?

If I hear the results of another poll I will kill my television. I am so campaigned out that I don’t know if my brain will survive the trip to November. These fools have been in the news since the G Dubbz administrations mid-term elections of 2006.

The real problem for me, the average American voter, is that I know all this bullshit about these candidates that is wholly irrelevant to the job of being the president of the United States. The mainstream media outlets parade countless talking heads in front of the camera who know absolutely nothing. What are these fucks talking about? I don’t know, and I don’t care.

The NYTimes stopped being a reliable source of information for truth to my eyes when they helped the district attorney railroad those teenagers falsely accused in the Central Park jogger rape case. The NYTimes is putting BARACK OBAAMA’s candidacy on those same railroad tracks. I can’t help but read the New York Times even though I know it is all about stuffwhitepeoplelike, but that is ultimately why I can’t put it down either. I too want to speak the cultural language of supremacy. At least I want a heads up for when chattel slavery is re-enacted.

MAUREEN DOWD’s NYTimes Op-Ed: Wilting Over Waffles

You have to read her writing to really understand how she speaks when she isn’t feigning her airs of gentility. DOWD certainly uses the ‘ger’ spelling of the ‘N’ word. Maybe she thinks she is entitled to that since her father was an immigrant from Ireland? Maybe her acerbic N-word entitlement comes from her being a lipstick lesbian? For whatever reason that she thinks HILLARY CLINTON has shown BARACK OBAAMA unworthy of the democratic party nomination she is still part of the problem.

The problem is that mainstream media is a celebration of the cult of personality, and BARACK OBAAMA is the only presidential candidate WITH a personality. It has become impossible to deny him, and at the same time he is making every other candidate look as hypocritical as they truly are. OBAAMA has found a way to appear even more sincere than BILL CLINTON did. For that reason alone you are going to have to elect him as a president. Eff HILLARY, and her minions, and their subtle politricks of supremacy.

Guerillas In The Polygamist…

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

mormos

Say what you want about how goofy these broads look, but then also peep the fact that the Texas sheriffs are still clocking their booties.

Whether you want to admit this shit or not, the United States of America was founded on all sorts of deviant and unnatural behavior that was subsequently co-signed by religion. From the mass genocide of indigenous peoples, to the murders of mostly women who were accused of witchcraft, to the chattel slave trade and even the bombing of Iraq. All of this subversive shit has been preceded by someone holding a bible in their mitts.

In a country of 300 million people there is a shitstorm of religions that even I haven’t heard of. I have heard of the Latter Day Saints movement though, and I have heard that some factions support the ideas of polygamy. In the ‘hood we call the chicks that support polygamy ‘babies’ mommas’. And chicks in the ‘hood are way more fashion forward than these ladies. What are those stuffed shoulders all about? I don’t even care enough about this religion to rank on their sartorial style.

Here in Brooklyn you can see enough goofy shit from the different orthodox sects that live here whether they be Muslim, Jewish, Hebrew or Zoroastrian. At least the freaks on this side get to raise their children. I can’t justify moving children away from their parent(s). We all know that it takes a village. Its just that these Mormons in Texas were really ’bout it. If some kids were being harmed or molested then I could see why law enforcement would need to kick in the doors, but these kids are pretty much normal, except for the Howdy-Doody haircuts.

Where were the police when the catholic priests were fingerbanging their parishoners sons?

DP’s Montreal Recap: Habs > Bruins…

Monday, April 21st, 2008

rocket

If all Canadiens were as good as their hockey team from Montreal then maybe Canada might be worth leaving America for.

There is this ridiculous myth that Canada is where Americans can see the idealism of our culture in full effect. It isn’t the truth. Canada is just as fucked the fuck up as we are. Albeit, they have better health care. The United States pwns Canada for the simple fact that I can buy sneakers here for $20. The SB Dunks were marked up to $160.

For as bad as the United States can seem sometimes, and with everything going to hell in a handbasket, I still wouldn’t trade in the U.S. for a country that doesn’t respect baseball as the height of human achievement. Especially since they figured out how to make beer so damn well. The grass always seems greener on the other side, but I’m here to tell you that the only green grass in Quebec worth a damn is coming from this white that rides a fixed gear bike and has dreads.

I am posting a few more pics from my long weekend in Montreal. If you were considering making a jump to Canada I’d say you could do better with a trip to Philadelphia.

koivu

Condominiums are the new white picket fence. Montreal loves swagger jacking Paris’ steez. The real Montmarte neighborhood shits on Montreal and leaves the skidmark in the bowl.

koivu

I fucks with subways hard. I keep a copy of the subway map for every city I visit. Montreal’s subways are clean as hell and they run frequently. No homeless people or candy selling kids as far as the eye can see. I wonder if GIULIANI is patrolling the subway system in Montreal now that his presidential bid is kaput?

koivu

koivu

True story is that I never saw a group of Black people together. I saw one couple other than C.S. and I. Montreal definitely suffers from brownskin diversity as far as humans are concerned, but I found some colored people to pose around. Too bad for me they were fruity mannequins.

koivu

Get your meat from Schwartz’. [ll].

koivu

Was I wrong to be annoyed at all the record stores in Montreal? These people are stuck in the 1980’s. No one here in the States cares about deejays anymore.

koivu

The bodega in the ‘hood outside of the Olympic Park. Looks just like the Bronx.

koivu

Hanging out in the woods of Mount Royal.

koivu

Canada became Urine Nation.

DEPANNEUR = BODEGA

Monday, April 21st, 2008

depanneur

The bodega culture is the universal worldwide quest to consume inexpensive food, beer and lottery tickets. It attracts poor people all across the globe. Canada and their fancy socialist universal health care has no exemption from the plight of poor people. They just get better medical treatment.

As usual, there is always a church within short walking distance to the vice vendors.

depanneur
Speaking of bodegas…

What are you doing this Thursday?

The i.C.’s want you to come to our screening of ‘Bodega’ at the Donnell public library in Manhattan at 6pm.

DONNELL LIBRARY
20 West 53rd Street
(btwn 5th and 6th Aves, across street from MoMA)
New York, NY
212.621.0609

Did I say it was FREE?