The Walt Disney Company has more money than anybody on the planet. While all kinds of people are crying about the recession Walt Disney Co. is printing money from their Florida cult compound. The reason why these people stay so paid is that they market their products so efficiently most of us don’t even recognize that we are being sold shit, and then as soon as we spot the sales pitch we can’t help but consume because what they are selling is so effin’ cute.
When Chocolate Snowflake told me about the Bolt Bus after I proposed a weekend getaway to Philadelphia (yeah I know, ha!) I thought for sure this was Disney spending some cheddar to drum up the excitement for their latest animated blockbuster ‘Bolt’. I think this is the story of some dog who crisscrosses the country on Greyhound buses while trying to rescue Miley Cyrus. How else could a company stay in business charging people $1 to ride a bus from NYC to Washington D.C.? If the Chinese can’t do it nobody can.
I gave Walt Disney Co. too much credit though. It turns out that the Bolt Bus is a product of the surging gas prices that have put a crimp in the driving habits of most Americans. For an average fare of $18 you can travel up and down the Interstate 95 corridor from Washington D.C. to Boston. The best part of the Bolt Bus in my mind is the wireless service that each bus is equipped with. The bathrooms are even quite “deuce ready”. Lucky Star and Fung Wah need to eat their fortune cookie hearts out.
I’m not sure for how much longer the Bolt Bus will be able to make these runs with this level of service. Now that gas prices are returning to this stratosphere most commuters will return to their own wheels. Because the Bolt Bus requires that you purchase your tickets online instead of using a wad of folded up cash singles this excludes the masses of poor people, retards and terrorists that travel on the Chinatown buses. Catering to a higher echelon clientele isn’t what made the Walt Disney Company richer than God and it won’t help Bolt Bus stay in the black. So before my coach turns back into a pumpkin I’m taking a crap in this clean ass bathroom.
