Archive for May, 2009

Let’s Get Married…

Monday, May 11th, 2009

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I can’t think of a more vapid, devoid of romance song than this Jagged Edge remix featuring Run-DMC. This is the kind of jam that two people in their fifties might sing to each other after leaving the liquor store with a fifth of the sponsor(E & J Brandy) in the plastic bottle. The song sure is catchy though…

Thank goodness my folks didn’t play that song once during their reception this weekend. My good friend, DJ Dr.Phillgoode made an honest woman of Dr. Tanya. Believe it or not, but one of them is really a doctor. The ceremony was held at the incredible Bedford Stuyvesant landmark Akwaaba Mansion.

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I was running late for the festivities because I didn’t arrange my outfit until the last minute. It turned out that everything I wanted to wear is still at the dry cleaners. The dry cleaners is the OG storage for poor folks like myself. I hope my shit is still there when I go to pick it up this week.

I ended up in a corduroy suit looking like a dude who needed some February in his life. As always I had the lifestyle all over my body. I love my collection of bear ties. I have these in four different colors. I decided to pull out some classic cookie boot mocassins. There wasn’t too much dancing at this wedding so I was spared the sight of me having myself soaked through. I can’t wait for the winter to come back around so I can wear this outfit again.

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Nerdcore Maximus…

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

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I saw Star Trek 2009 with Chocolate Snowflake last night. The movie was excellent Hollywood fanfare deserving of the hype and praise being lavished upon it. I’ve decided to rename the flick ‘U.S.S. Enterprise: Origins’ since that is essentially what the story acts as. J.J. ABRAMS did a masterful job of incorporating the favorite fanboy elements with a new flavor for the folks that might not have been too familiar with the classic O.G. television program.

Combat Jack has a review posted on his site that I thoroughly co-sign so I won’t waste your time by duplicating tasks. Instead I will use what is left of my fried green tomato brain cells to discuss some of the upcoming blockbuster films being released in the next few weeks.

  • The Terminator franchise gets back to fighting off the techno dystopia with Batman’s CHRISTIAN BALE cast as the always under duress John Connor.
  • While the Transformer franchise is sure to have the most explosions of any film this summer with their Rise of the Fallen sequel (this flick is my 4-star sleeper, but I’m also admittedly biased)
  • Land Of The Lost starring WILL FERRELL looks to have some laughs for the whole family. DANNY McBRIDE along for the ride can’t hurt this film.
  • Night At The Museum brings back the original cast for more faux-historical hijinks. I think I will pass on this one since Blacks are always omitted from the historical context. Pasty skinned Egyptians? Stiller please?!?
  • I won’t see Harry Potter because that shit is gheyer than a bag of dildos at the bus terminal bathroom.
  • G.I. Joe will challenge the Transformers sequel for explosions in a feature film. The CGI for this is looking reee-derky. I have to see this film but it might end up being a PU~.
  • I’m considering the remake of ‘Taking Of Pelham 1,2,3’ because I like the work that DENZEL and TRAVOLTA have produced over the course of their careers. I have to wait for C.S. to have the OG movie NetFlix’d to her crib for a preview screening.
  • Now in the meantime and in between time I will try to cook up something retarded from my filmmaking adventuers…

    Which one of these pics says that I have truly lost my mind? I’m digging the last one.

    Literally!

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

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    IllDoctrine Is The Bast!

    Sunday, May 10th, 2009

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    JaySmooth makes videos what make me rethink my whole shit what I was saying…

    Like why I type shit like an effin’ retard.

    I’m Feeling Wonder-Full…

    Sunday, May 10th, 2009

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    The annual KeiStar Productions STEVIE WONDER tribute is going down in Brooklyn once again!

    I am happy for all the success that KeiStar Productions has attained as a promoter of the best soulful musical events but I miss the old days of partying at joints on DeKalb Avenue like 2 Steps Down.

    This party in Brooklyn will be like one of those old nights back in the day. Are you ready to go in?!? Are you down to break day getting your dance on? Please wear some comfortable shoes if you are a 6a.m.’er like me.

    Saturday May 16, 2009

    KeiStar Productions Presents

    WONDER-Fullâ„¢ (XI)

    Annual Tribute To Stevie Wonder

    Featuring DJ SPINNA & BOBBITO a.k.a Kool Bob Love

    Spinning All Stevie Exclusives, Covers, Samples, Remixes, etc…

    @

    The BK Studios Lofts

    525 Waverly Avenue (Btwn Atlantic & Fulton St.) Brooklyn, NY 11238

    **Advance Tickets Are Required For This Event**

    Click Here To Purchase Tickets Online

    Or In Person At:

    Fat Beats (NYC) 406 6th Avenue (Corner of 8th Street) 212.673.3883

    Pieces (BKLYN) 671 Vanderbilt Ave (Corner Of Park Pl.) 718.857.7211

    FANBOY COVER ART FAIL…

    Saturday, May 9th, 2009

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    The only thing better than when I get my check in the mail from XXL is when I get the new issue. XXL was my favorite magazine a long time ago and it is still holding down the same quality that I remembered made me fux with it from the gate. The art direction is great. In this digital age of downloading everything there is still something special about print mags and all that goes into rolling them out. Kudos to the masthead of XXL magazine. The current issue is on some collector quality shit.

    Fuck around in this economy of diminishing profits and my words might be prophetic. Copp this issue for that reason alone.

    I have to tell you that I take my comic book shit hell’a seriously. That is where my first writing influences came from. I wanted to create the stories where my favorite heroes never died and never got old and never failed to be heroic. The best written single issue in my mind is X-Men #137. In this issue Phoenix commits suicide because she realizes that she can’t control the Dark Phoenix anomaly that exists in her body. Shit was a real heartbreaker for me. I wanted her and Cyclops to get married, but that wasn’t what the writers decided her fate would be. That book made me grow up a little bit more than I expected. The world is a real place where even comic books have to reflect the ultimate truth.

    Excuse my digression…

    This month’s XXL issue features Eminem cast as the Punisher. This is a character that Marvel Comics has taken several attempts at creating a feature film vehicle for. They ended up with a big PU~ at each turn. I like the Punisher character but he is pretty didactic and without the compelling depth of the top tier heroes. The Punisher emerged from his supporting character status under the scripting of FRANK MILLER. If you aren’t familiar with MILLER, but you enjoyed the Sin City and 300 films I advise you to copp the graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns. That shit is the greatest piece of American literature in my mind.

    FRANK MILLER was writing the DareDevil comics and he gave the lead character a series of satellite semi-heroes and villains that were so complicated and crazy it made DareDevil the hottest comic series for that period. There was DareDevil’s love interest Elektra, the Punisher, the Kingpin and the most insane, malevolent bad guy of all time, aside from the Joker, of course. His name was Bullseye and dude was the essence of 7:30. Bullseye was a str8 killer. Not even for money, but for the love of looking people in the eye when he slew them.

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    I’m sorry that Eminem didn’t select Bullseye as the character to embody the persona he raps as under his new album. When you listen to some of these lead-in singles like 3AM, Bagpipes From Baghdad, My Mom and even Beautiful we are listening to the diary of a madman. A joyous, unrepentant maniac. This album is the type of shit that only Eminem could release. The complex lyrical ability of a Redman on speed, with the cultural cache of a Johnny Cash. The album is rebel rockhead retard revelry. Eminem will certainly have the bullseye on his back as the album seeps into the mainstream. Any school massacre, DUI, terrorist incident or accidental death will be blamed on the Relapse CD. It’s that subversive, and that well written. Eminem isn’t the Punisher. Eminem is clearly the psycho-sociopathic Bullseye.

    Bullseye got a contract from the Kingpin to kill Elektra, but when he discovered that she was the lover of his arch-enemy DareDevil he decided to do the job for free. I hated Bullseye for merc’king Elektra. She was hot. Bullseye did not give a fuck. On some secret comic book nerd shit when a character kills someone in cold blood the Comics Code Authority requires that the character who committed the murder has to die. Because Elektra had killed people she was required to die and Bullseye was given an exemption for killing her. Yeah, I know, believe me that there was nearly a nerd riot after Elektra’s assassination coming a year or so on the heels of Phoenix’ suicide.

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    DareDevil would end up kicking Bullseye’s ass totally and repeatedly, but that is still no reason not to assume the character of Bullseye. There isn’t anyone in the Marvel Universe who has the body count of Bullseye on Earth prime. If you wanted to imagine yourself as a wanton serial killer with no boundaries and no morals then you would have to be Bullseye. I think even the Joker has to give Bullseye his props. Those two together would be a problem. This new Eminem album is a fucking problem too. I almost wish he used the artist name Slim Shady or eM Manson. The character that spits throughout this album is definitely a drug addled lunatic. If the beats were better this album could have been a classic.

    The beats by Dr.Dre are so formulaic at this point. The pianos, the drums, the synth shrieks, it’s all that shit he has been using for the last fifteen years. The sound isn’t bad, but it lacks the creativity that Eminem’s lyrics are bringing. There are still some stand out tracks on the album and it plays pretty well on a rainy day. I’ve been loving the DOOM album ‘Born Like This’ for all the lyrical complexity and production that it has displayed. I would love to hear this Eminem album remixed with some of DOOM’s darker production. Then we could really see the effects of excessive pill popping.

    With several songs over five minutes and a couple tipping the scales at over six minutes I don’t know how much of this album we will hear on the radio. And frankly, I don’t think radio wants to go this dark into the wormhole of MARSHALL MATHER’s mind. I’m keeping this joint on my iPod though. When it comes to lyrics Eminem is on target like Bullseye, too bad XXL’s cover art wasn’t.

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