A lot of people think that Wonder Woman’s power was contained in her golden bracelets that were bulletproof and her lasso of truth that would make even the most hardened criminal snitch on his confederates.
They would all be wrong though.
Wonder Woman’s secret power was the size of her Amazon cameltoe.
This is the shit that makes all women wonderful.
Poor little beautiful CASSIE can’t catch a break on the internets.
She cuts half her head off and everyone says that Dove from De La Soul still did it better.
Just like she lost last year wearing the same Wonder Woman suit as KIM KARDASHIAN. Let’s all agree that KIM has the actual Dominicana body type even if half that shit is made with high tech plastics.
Now CASSIE leaks some tasteful nudes of herself on the web to push up her sex appeal a few notches and just when maybe she had folks attention where we were listening to her denials of leaking the images as a publicity stunt the REAL publicity stunt goes down.
Nekkid pics of RIHANNA hit the web and caused Twitter to crash. Well, not really, Twitter was going down for maintenance in the afternoon anyhoo, but that happened right after the RIHANNA nudie leak so I surmised it was her milky soft asscheeks that caused the outage.
I have a couple of NSFW pics linked below so you can see which of these two pop starlets did the nipple rings thging better. Word to JANET JACKSON.
MIKE H. sent us this track off the upcoming mixtape ‘JOELL ORTiZ Covers The Classics’, hosted by Green Lantern
^ Butching up for the 2009 Handsome Boy Modeling School calendar [ll]…
Excuse me for getting back to the column so late. It wasn’t like I was doing a victory lap for being in the Vibe.com top 50 Hip-Hop Bloggers list. I know better than to be hyped for that shit. I still need some money to pay my light bill. My fat ass was camped out overnight at KFC with a fistful of coupons trying to come up on some free chicken. What on God’s green Earth is better than free KFC? Free pr0n you said? Hells chea!
Avoid ‘Pr0n & Chicken’ though
So what did I miss other than the leak of Eminem’s latest album? For all that consternation about white dudes taking over Hip-Hop I am hyped for Em’s return. He’s one of the dudes that you have to press rewind to grasp, and even then you hear some new shit on repeated spins. This is good news for the rap game. Not so good news for the rap game is the fact that the Grand Hustle record label has more confidential informants than they do platinum selling rappers.
Have we all come to grips with the fact that T.I. sang like T-Pain on autotune when the Feds put the squeeze on son? Let’s be grown-ups in our understanding of how the Feds play their game. Plus, I don’t know anyone who ever got pinched for arms trafficking that got sit in his livingroom while the trial was ongoing and make video clips and records while in his boxer shorts [ll]. That is a luxury reserved for embezzlers and money launderers like Bernard Madoff, and well, snitches.
Rap music adopted so many of the cultural nuances of the mafia lifestyle why wouldn’t rap then be filled with a grip of snitches just like the mafia? Anytime you read the news about a racketeering case the Federal government’s lead witness is one of the thugs, or one of the mobsters, or one of the bosses. Sometimes its an accountant too. Everyone becomes a singer when the Feds push up on you. And why not? Even Fed time is a bitch being away from your family. Unless you have a family like Gotti. Not Irv, the studio gangster using the stage name Gotti, but the REAL niggas that made the name infamously famous.
As far as mafia trends go snitching is pretty high on the list. Kissing other men on the mouth with your eyes closed? Not so much. But certain mafia tribes have certain customs I’m sure. Throughout the history of organized crime we have always seen the rat.
Most kids always confuse the rats with the dead meat. In Black communities the ‘dead meat’ was the person who had no affiliation with the mafia biut reported their dealing to the police as if that would help restore civility in the neighborhood. After the police ‘ratted’ this person out to the mobsters it usually meant a visit from the thugs and funeral music shortly following. The snitch has to be someone who profits from the illicit activity they are reporting. Most people don’t know the difference between a snitch and a dead person so I just wanted to plug that in as a public service announcement.
T.I. should have kept Alfamega along for the ride. It’s not like Alfamega snitched on him. That was some OTHER dude in the Grand Hustle band camp. Plus, how sick official is it to have a studio filled with rappers wearing wireless microphones, rapping on wireless microphones using Wi-Fi service to download season 5 of ‘The Wire’? Some shit like that could have broken the time-space continuum and unleashed a Bizarro reality onto the Earth. You know, the reality where people actually do what they say. Fantasy is reality in rap music, and snitching done been the new rap ever since a rapper talked about how many drugs they had sold.
Why is T.I. trying to ruin the fantasy with reality?
Parliament featuring GLEN GOINS – ‘Fantasy Is Reality’
If you are thinking that Doomsday has arrived for me because MANNYWOOD has been accused of cheating to keep his wood good and strong[ll] then you are sorely mistaken. El beisbol is the one who is suffering and so are the fans. No player is bigger than the game, but the game itself is altered. Even in a recession economy there are people paying a monthly mortgage to occupy seats in stadium for only a few hours.
Do those people give a fuck what any player does off the field, as long as it doesn’t hurt their performance when the captains of industry are sitting in those twenty five hundred dollar seats? BARRY, ROGER. ALEX and now MANNY are the best at what they do and if they could do it every single time they put on the uniform wouldn’t that make most fans happier than clams in shit? Did I just get the metaphor fucked the fuck up? You are gotdamn right I did, because beisbol doesn’t have their mind right either.
I wouldn’t mind seeing the economy of the game collapse especially since I always have to read in the papers about how players have ruined beisbol. These sorry sack cokehead sportswriters are total tools of the ownerships that own the daily rags these asshats write for. Players have yet to fuck the game up. Ownership is too busy doing that at every turn. If ALEX RODRIGUEZ wasn’t getting paid $30 million a year do you think the tickets and concessions at the new ballfield in the Bronx would be any cheaper?
There are three elements to sport. 1) The players, 2) The fans, 3) The people that capitalize on the relationship between 1 and 2. How great would beisbol be if there weren’t these overlords that sought to bleed the fans atr every turn for every dollar? The emotional connection from the players and fans of the game is to strong to break. A strike couldn’t do it and neither will steroids. Meanwhile BARRY BONDS, the greatest home run hitter of our generation is retired en situ, and ROGER CLEMENS is one flashback from CHRIS BENOIT’ing his family all because they gave the people what they wanted.
You want to tell me that these guys are overcompensated douchebags and you are prA’li right, but the team owners are sacks of shit 10x bigger than GAY-ROD sucking his own face in a mirror.
Related: iNternets Celebrity CASIMIR NOZKOWSKI made a video he calls ‘Baseball Card Movie’ which documents the passion, principles and peculiarity of memorabilia card collectors.