Mom was cool enough to go on a date with me last Saturday for her birthday. We went to see CHAPPELLE’s flick even though her book club had been whooping and hollering about Madea. Mom kept it ghetto with me as we snuck in some Wendy’s chili, fries and two frosties. She isn’t a big fan of CHAPPELLE but she does like purple grape drink so I thought she still might enjoy the film.
The night was more about getting her out of her house and doing something different. Don’t get it twisted, she does get out of the house. Mom is a Lord & Taylor frequent flier and they have a parking spot reserved for her in Manhasset. She still makes her midnight PathMark runs for Haagen Daz Light Cherry Fudge Truffle. I remember when she drafted me a few weeks ago to drive to a PathMark in Suffolk county just because the ice cream was on sale two for one. You should have seen me driving on the Southern State at 90mph just to get her and her ice cream home before it melted.
If my dad were still here he would have been her CO-D in the driver’s seat. No matter how much he complained about my mom’s idiosyncracies he supported them to the fullest. I laugh sometimes when I think about how he told me that I was her most willing soldier, but it was really him. I am so grateful to the great GOD in the sky that I was granted the opportunity to see the two of them together when my eyes had finally grown up. Loving people is the hardest thing to do on this planet. Even harder than refining uranium. There are going to be so many times where you think about how easy it would be if you just walked away. The children will become devils and the in-laws turn into outlaws. But walking away is for cowards. My parents were courageous and they were crazy in love. That crazy break shit up in the house to get your point across kind of love. There has been a lot less broken stuff in their house these last few years but the committed intensity of their love has never waned.
My folks worked their asses off at loving one another and that would be evident whenever one of their birthdays was approaching. For my dad’s 60th birthday my mom called in everybody who was near and dear to my dad. She made people drive up from Virginia and fly up from Atlanta. I was conscripted to work the grill and she brought in catered food from one of Long Island’s best soul food restaurants. My mom made sure that my dad was surrounded by his dearest family and friends. That afternoon in their backyard might have been the happiest that I have ever seen my dad. Upon reflection it symbolized his farewell party. Dad didn’t make it to see his 61st new year.
I have a few other things planned for mom for her birthday. Tonight my brother, his wife and their son will go to the house and have a quiet gathering. Mom, C.S. and I are going to an off-Broadway theatre the following night. I felt like going out to a movie with mom on Saturday is what Dad would have done. Alright, Dad wouldn’t have snuck the food in, because dad was classy, and I’m just ashy. Dad would definitely have let mom know how much he loved her, and she loved him. That job falls into my brothers and my own hands now. We should be happy and proud to accept it. Dad has already shown us how its done.
Happy birthday Mom.
Love forever,
Darry, Kito and Dad
