RAP MUSIC SNITCHES GET THE RICHES…

April 24th, 2007

carmen

NaS’ baby mama only wishes she had more to sell tell…

I will assume that most of you found the time to see 60 Minutes absurd report of the “Stop Snitching Culture” that seems to be pervasive within the disenfranchised center city communities. I call the report absurd because that is where you should file the information – theater of the absurd. Media outlets, acting like sharks sensing blood, have begun their multi-tiered attack on Hip-Hop by positing that the notion of criminal acceptability begins from the mouths of rappers. There is plenty of nonsence that rappers do perpetuate on a daily basis and the least of which I will consider is the idea that cooperating with police is a crime against the ‘hood.

In fact, that idea begins and ends inside of police precincts that have used tactics such as ‘Hell Night’ to wage a war of terror on poor communities since whenever supremacy wants to. The truth is this… From the time of bootlegging alcohol to illegal numbers up until the narcotics epidemics, the police have been an important conduit to perpetuating and regulating these illicit trades. LARRY DAVIS was almost assassinated when he decided that he would no longer be a street level dealer for the Bronx police precinct that ran his neighborhood. It is a police force that monitors these narcotics traffickers that has the center city residents in fear.

These police were allowed to kick in the door of an elderly women named ELEANOR BUMPURS and shoot her to death all because she filed a telephone complaint against harassing drug dealers in her housing project. This is the reason that the ‘hood has been told to stop snitching. Because nothing, but nothing, is going to be allowed to fuck up the police’s money machine. BTW, you won’t ever see something this real on ‘The Wire’.

Snitching is certainly admonished in rap music today, but is actually practiced quite often by some of the genre’s most prolific personalities.

  • FISTY SCENT turns states’ witness against KENNETH ‘Supreme’ McGRIFF
  • LIL’ WAYNE is the biggest snitch in the rap game
  • CAM’RON talks to police about his beating incident at Rucker Park
  • BUSTA RHYMES goes to the police about his violent B.M. (babies’ momma)
  • It looks to me like these artists have been reading this website more than they would like to admit…

    *Shouts to BOL for some of the above links

    The Association Playoffs 2007 Or MICHAEL JORDAN Finally Divorces MICHAEL JACKSON…

    April 24th, 2007

    jackson jordan

    Memo to JORDAN: Let’s see how much of that $150mil settlement ends up in one of DAVID FALK’s accounts.

    It might appear that I don’t like basketball as much as your average jig but that isn’t entirely true. Sure, I like baseball and football more than basketball, but I still represent my Blackness with a familiarity of roundball goings ons. I jacked the pic above from Nerditry. They were the winners of this years inaugural DP Dot Com NCAA FINAL FOUR Pool. I wanted to run another pool for the NBA Playoffs but I didn’t have the time to administer a pool and continue my charge to world domination via the internets.

    The Association seemed a bit more compelling last year with RON ARTEST in the mix. The league just looks like its been neutured to the point that I wish there was another cocaine scandal to make these kids look more interesting. If not for GILBERT ARENAS and KOBE BRYANT the NBA would be the perfect cure for insomnia. Thank GOD the playoffs finally arrived. Maybe there will be some drama on TNT this week. In the meantime and in between time leave it up to your boy DP to spice up the post-season.

    I’ll use this post to run a contest for the overall Association champs. Whoever picks this years’ NBA Finals winner will get a DP Dot Com prize pack. Make sure that you include the following info…

  • Winning team name
  • Runner ups
  • Number of games in championship series
  • Out of the sixteen teams that have begun the playoffs I see five or six possibles to own the NBA crown this summer…

    dirk

    DALLAS MAVERICKS
    By virtue of their league leading record I have to put them at the top of the heap. This Mavericks team doesn’t seem as explosive to me as last years group and I would never have picked last years bunch to make it to the Finals. So what do I know?

    nash

    PHOENIX SUNS
    Forget all the this and that about KOBE BRYANT being the M.V.P. for the Association this year. STEVE NASH had the hottest NIKE hoe this year and he will get the BOB COUSY trophy or the PETE MARAVICH trophy or whatever trophy is named after that white that kicked ass on the hardwood. Don’t sleep either when Phoenix gets all the lose calls during these playoffs. The league needs for their M.V.P. to at least play in the Finals.

    dunc

    SAN ANTONIO SPURS
    TIM DUNCAN has been the best player in the league for the last ten years for being able to make TONY PARKER and MANU GINOBILI All-Stars in the league. Similar to OLAJUWON he just does his thing quietly and efficiently. San Antonio needs another player on their roster for them to be the dominant team in the league again, but they are still good enough to come out of the West if the Suns or the Mavs get caught slipping.

    rip

    DETROIT PISTONS
    The Pistons are one of the few championship caliber teams where the weed carriers might be better than the weed owners. CHRIS WEBBER and RASHEED WALLACE offer glimpse of their former weed owning days, but the Detroit engine is powered by their guard play. RIP HAMILTON and CHAUNCEY BILLUPS are the sparkplugs.

    d'wayne

    MIAMI HEAT
    By virtue of being last years’ champs do the Heat make this list. So much shit would have to happen in order for Miami to make it to the Finals this year we should discount these dudes automatically. They are really an 8-seed playing in the 4-seed slot.

    ben gordon


    CHICAGO BULLS

    The Bulls are my sleeper pick for this years’ Finals trophy. True story, I was at the NIKE I.D. Design Studio working on a pair of Dunks over the summer and SMUSH PARKER and BEN GORDON were up in there chillin’ doing the same. BEN GORDON’s shoes looked better than mine only because NIKE gave him access to their VIP materials like ostrich leather and gold-plated laces, but let’s see BEN create the amount of content that has him working on four websites simultaneously. Yeah, I thought so.

    CLEANING YOUR KITTY…

    April 23rd, 2007

    clean kitty

    From being a public access talk show host to an overnight internets celebrity, sex therapist ALEXYSS TYLOR keeps her shit realer than most. Real raw and unky that is. Study her lessons well and you will become a master of penis and/or pussy power.


    ‘Dick Will Make You Slap Somebody’

    CANNONDALE FOR SALE…

    April 23rd, 2007

    cannondale

    By looking at me now you would never know that I was an avid cyclist for many years. Several ridiculous accidents finally took their toll on my body, but I occasionally still enjoy a spin around Prospect Park on my Klein mountain bike.

    My true love is my Cannondale Shark track bike. Like all official track bikes it has a fixed wheel gear ratio and because it’s a Cannondale the tubing is high strength aluminum and light as a feather. Track bikes don’t have a laundry list of components and where it matters I used all high grade Shimano parts. I even changed the handlebars to Modolo bullhorn bars for that sexy aggressive profile. It’s a beaut of a horse and if you have ever ridden a fixed wheel bike then you already know that the Cannondale Shark is like the Murcielago of that shit.

    I peeped this video one day on YouTube and it was totally reminiscent of my experience spinning through New York City Manhattan. Until humans evolve and gain the ability to fly this is the closest thing to that feeling…

    cRap Music Fantasy League

    April 22nd, 2007

    crapper

    First off, let me thank everyone that registered to play in the DP Dot Com cRap Music Fantasy League. It seemed like a really good idea at the time. What kept it from blowing up were my limitations at computer programming. If there is an Excel or spreadsheet wiz that fucks with DP Dot Com holler at me on the e-mail and let me know if your interested in helping me get this thing popping off the right way. You wouldn’t know it since people don’t acknowledge it but I spend tons of my scrilla sending people all kinds of shit when they help the website or participate in contests that I run. Help me out and I guarantee that you’ll at least get a fly pair of kicks in return for your effort.

    The premise of the cRap Music Fantasy League is that each player runs their own record label which has eight performers. At least one of them had to be a female rapper and also they needed to have one R & B singer (male or female). The label owners could even opt to have dead rappers on their label’s roster with the understanding that “dead rapper’s get better promotion” – (c)Jadakiss. The cRap Music Fantasy League is like a popularity contest and whichever artists can keep themselves in the media spotlight are the ones that will bring you the higher score. But ultimately, the cRap Fantasy League is a points driven game and certain favorable events in the course of a artists career will garner that performer points. Certified gold and platinum records were worth points to your label, but since this was a cRap Music game other events had value as well. Arrests and convictions including jail time could move your label up in the standings and death of someone on your roster was a surefire way to win the contest outright.

    Not that we want any rappers to die or anything, but there are a few that could just kill themselves and the world would be fine with that. Anyhoo, I asked the label owners to submit their rosters and label names several times. Here are the labels that made it through into the league’s registration process…

    WINDBREAKER Records
    BIOCHEMICAL SLANGIN’ ENTERTAINMENT INCORPORATED
    COCAINE BLUNTS
    COMBAT JACK
    XOCOLATL CITY BALLERS
    STONY ISLAND ENT.
    TyCOON ENTERTAINMENT
    COMMERCIAL Records Inc.
    DEAF JAM Records
    SMOKED OUT Records
    STATELY PLUMP BUCK MULLIGAN Records LLC
    BLACKLIGHT Records
    INCARCERATED SCARFACES Records
    BLUFFINGTON Records
    ACTion Records
    DUBBLE UP ENTERTAINMENT
    COBBLESTONE Records
    BROOKLYN MINT Records
    BLUE & CREME ENTERTAINMENT
    JOHN BROWN MUSIC
    GIVE UP THE GOODS ENTERTAINMENT
    CHRISTIAN MUSIC RECORDS
    MENTAL CALISTHENICS RECORDS
    SQUADRILATERAL RECORDS
    JAYWALKERS ENTERTAINMENT

    Because of the number of labels as compared to the number of desirable cRappers in today’s cRap music landscape you will notice that many labels share similar artists. The only key to success was having the combination of cRappers that would be leading the industry during the opening months of 2007. Here is a list artists who were points leaders during the first quarter of 2007…

    jigga JAY-Z = 1750 points
    Jigga was the M.V.P. beast of the league on the strength of a double platinum certification for his recent album ‘Kingdome Come’ and the myriad amount of licensing deals he caked up with in the first quarter. Redsigning Cherry Coke… Selling Roc-A-Wear for $200mil… GM x JAY-Z blue?!?
    akon AKON = 1000 pts
    If we excluded South Africa, AKON might make more money than the GNP of all of Africa. Through a string of successful R & B hits this over-synthesized pop singer has been tearing up the U.S. charts. Only ROBIN THICKE plays the radio more than this dude.

    biggie NOTORIOUS B.I.G. = 1000 pts
    Notorious B.I.G. was a solid pick because this year happened to be the tenth anniversary of his murder. With an album release and countless media coverage this sleeper pick could have put you over the top.

    lil' wayne LIL’ WAYNE – 750 points
    I’m curious as to why LIL’ WAYNE is so popular. He doesn’t seem to be too talented a wordsmith and he speaks in a disjointed and somewhat retarded manner in interviews, but maybe that’s what the people relate to nowadays. Anyhoo, you can’t go wrong picking him for your roster because the powers that be love little, snarly, gremlin-looking Black men for their minstrel revivals.

    fisty FISTY SCENT – 750 points
    I’m used to FISTY being such a juggernaut in pop culture I thought for sure he would dominate the league. Surprisingly enough, we didn’t hear too much from him at all until Cam’Ron decided to awaken the sleeping giant with his taunts of Fisty’s government name. I’d keep Fisty on your roster if you have him because he’s liable to break out with more book deals and prah’lee a snack cake liscensing agreement or some shit.

    jeezy YOUNG JEEZY = 750 pts
    Who is inspired by this dude? More people than I could imagine. Despite looking like a seal with jewelry on JEEZY the Snowman makes his RIAA quota.

    young buck YOUNG BUCK = 750 pts
    BUCK might be finding himself in the same place as a former G-Unit star if he doesn’t get his mind right. Fisty Scent doesn’t take kindly to subordinates who appear unloyal. With all the popular cRappers coming from the southern region I don’t consider BUCK a keeper pick in the cRap Music Fantasy League.

    windbreaker LUDACRIS = 500 pts
    After cutting off his trademark mane LUDACRIS has become a mediocre cRapper. cRappers like T.I., WAYNE and JEEZY dominate the southern region and LUDACRIS may have his eyes on Hollywood now anyhoo. He’s a good pick if you have some inside information, but if not leave him off your squad.

    ciara CIARA = 500 pts
    She is certainly talented and beautiful. And bigger than all of that it’s finally been agreed that CIARA is actually a woman.

    fergie FERGIE = 500 pts
    When people call her rap band the Black Eyed Peas they didn’t realize that FERGIE took that to literally mean pee her pants. I guess her impromptu golden showers have helped her achieve greater than golden certification from the RIAA.

    nelly furtado NELLY FURTADO = 500 pts
    Do you remember that brief scandal about R & B chantueses giving up the booty to their producers as exchange for their production skills? Do you think NELLY fucked Timbaland? If we find out that she did I am retracting all of her points.

    lilwow LIL’ BOW WOW = 500 pts
    How crazy is it that LIL’ BOW WOW is still a teen idol. You know this dude is like 32 right? He has that shit that dude Webster had where you don’t grow up anymore.

    foxy brown FOXY BROWN = 500 pts
    FOXY has become rap music’s hot ghetto mess. She makes REMY MA look like she has her shit together. From probation to arrest back to another probation warning, FOXY is begging the courts to assign her a stint in a supervised halfway house. Pray for her ass.

    chris brown CHRIS BROWN = 500 pts
    While USHER is busy taking care of other people’s baby mamas CHRIS BROWN has stepped in to fill the void.

    bussa BUSTA RHYMES = 250 pts
    What the fuck happened to BUSTA?!? Do you think it’s the after effects of steroids? Whatever it is BUSTA looks like he is going to have to give a minute of his life to the county lockup.

    camron CAM’RON = 250 pts
    Not too much going on with Cam’Ron except some ‘hood videos.

    lil flip LIL’ FLIP = 250 pts
    After beating up T.I. a few years ago I thougtht that Lil’ Flip’s career would be done, but lo and behold, he releases another album that I prah’lee won’t listen to.

    devin DEVIN the Dude = 250 pts
    DEVIN’s latest album ‘Waiting To Inhale’ was a fun romp through the mind of a tragic weedhead.

    redman REDMAN = 250 pts
    The return of REGGIE NOBLE means that Hip-Hop isn’t dead yet.

    After totaling up the labels with the highest scores I award the title of DallasPenn Dot Com Crap Music Mogul to DEAF JAM Records. Send me your address and your shoe size for your free pair of NIKE Dunks.