Archive for the ‘Sports are Gay’ Category

Charge It To The Game…

Monday, January 7th, 2008

omlinson

The first weekend of the NFL post-season is in the books. Here’s the breakdown for Sunday’s game day stats.

Next year is tomorrow for Tennessee and Tampa Bay…

Tampa Bay
E. Graham- 90yds overall = 9pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 15pts
M. Spurlock – Total = 0pts
J. Galloway – Total = 0pts
DEFENSE – Total – 0pts

Tennessee
R. Bironas – 2FG = 6pts / Total = 6pts

The Chargers and the Giants handled their B.I…

San Diego
L. Tomlinson – 61yds overall = 6pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 12pts
C. Chambers – 121yds overall = 12pts / Total = 12pts
A. Gates – 15yds overall = 1pt / Total = 1pt

New York
B. Jacobs – 50yds overall = 5pts, 2TD = 12pts / Total = 17pts
P. Burress – 38yds overall = 3pts / Total = 3pts
L. Tynes – 1FG = 3pts, 3XP = 3pts / Total = 6pts
DEFENSE – 2INT = 2pts, 1FR = 1pts / Total = 3pts

The Wheels Fall Off In Pittsburgh With No Bus…

Sunday, January 6th, 2008

romey rome

BTW, as usual when I do these pools some of you folks decide not to read the rules and the regulacks. Since the offending poolers are also two of my longtime supporters plus one of my XXL readers I have decided not to disqualify their teams outright but to simply remove the player from their roster that made their squads null and void.

YOU COULD NOT HAVE TWO PLAYERS ON YOUR ROSTER FROM THE SAME OFFENSE

No Brady and Randy Moss, no Manning and Harrison, no Tomlinson and Gates, no Terrell Owens and Folk. Go back and read the rules and the regulacks. At least y’all ain’t the type of negroes to give me any shit for this.

Let’s tally up Pittsburgh’s players as well as the Redskins since these cats are on vacay now…

Pittsburgh
N. Davenport – 48yds overall = 4pts, 2TD = 12pts / Total = 16pts
H. Miller – 85yds overall = 8pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 14pts
H. Ward – 135yds overall / Total = 13pts
S. Holmes – 49yds overall = 4pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 10pts
M. Spaeth – Total – 0pts
W. Parker – Total – 0pts
DEFENSE – 2INT = 2pts / Total = 2pts

Washington
C. Portis – 80yds overall = 8pts / Total = 8pts
A. Randle El – 96yds overall = 9pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 15pts
C. Cooley – 46yds overall = 4pts / Total = 4pts
S. Suisham – 2XP = 2pts / Total = 2pts
DEFENSE – 2INT = 2pts / Total = 2pts

The Seahawks and Jag players live on to fight another Sunday at least…

Seattle
S. Alexander – 45yds overall = 4pts / Total = 4pts
N. Burleson – 64yds overall = 6pts / Total = 6pts
M. Pollard – Total = 0pts
J. Brown – 2FG = 6pts, 3XP = 3pts / Total = 9pts

Jacksonville
F. Taylor – 50yds overall = 5pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 11pts
M. Jones-Drew – 72yds overall = 7pts, 2 TD = 12pts / Total = 19pts
M. Lewis – 16yds overall = 1pt / Total = 1pt
J. Scobee – 1FG = 3pts, 4XP = 4pts / Total = 7pts
DEFENSE – 3INT = 3pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 9pts

*I’ll do the totals for this weekend during the week unless one of you poolers is feeling ambitious.

RETIREMENT IS FOR SAPPS…

Friday, January 4th, 2008

sapp

No subliminals to SACH

One of my favorite football players of all time is hanging up his playing cleats this off-season, provided BILL BELICHICK doesn’t come after him in the spring. SAPP was an ass kicker from the gate. In high school football he gave JOHNNY DAMON a concussion. SAPP won numerous defensive player awards at the University of Miami although he never won a national championship with the Hurricanes.

SAPP seemed destined to play his entire football career in his home state when the Tampa Bay Buccaneers drafted him out of college. SAPP would go on to be one of the most respected defensive tackles evar. Think of a faster and stronger JOE KLECKO. Using his speed, athleticism and game smarts WARREN SAPP became a Hall of Fame player. I wonder if FAVRE will shout him out during these playoffs?

Are you ready for a homegrown DP Dot Com x NFL Playoffs Football Pool? I am. Let’s do a little something with the NFL post-season about to jumpoff.

Here are the Rules...

You can only pick one(1) player per team. So if you chose Tom Brady as your QB you can NOT Randy Moss as a WR. Take your time and use strategy when assembling your team. You will only get points when your player plays so be careful of the 1st round byes and teams you think will only play one game. Your team must consist of…

PLAYERS
1 QB
2 RB
2 WR
1 TE
1 FLEX(could be a running back, wide receiver, or tight end)
1 Kicker
1 Defense/Special Teams

SCORING
6 pts- TD Rushing, Receiving, Passing
6 pts- Defensive TD, Kickoff Return/Punt Return for a TD
6 pts- Defensive Shutout
3 pts- Field Goals (4pts- 40 yarder, 5pts- 50 yarder, 6pts- 60 yarder)
3 pts- Defense holds opponent to 9 points or less
2 pts- Defensive safety
2 pts- Two point conversion (Rushing, Receiving, Passing)
1 pt- Every 10 yards Receiving, Rushing
1 pt- Every 20 yards Passing
1 pt- Defensive sack, interception, fumble recovery
1 pt- Kicking extra point
0 pts- Any yardage on punt/kickoff returns

* If a punt or kickoff is returned for a TD the D/ST gets 6 points and if you have a guy like Wes Welker as one of your WR’s he will also be credited with 6 pts if he ran it back. So in that scenario the Pats D & Welker will be credited 6 pts.
* RB has 73 rushing yards and 10 receiving yards(total yards – 83) he will be credited 8 pts.
* If a QB has 200 passing yards -1 rushing(total yards – 199), he will be credited 9 pts. If he has 199 passing yards &1 rushing(total yards – 200), he will be credited 10
*This is NOT for just the first round, but the ENTIRE playoffs so once your player is out you cant pick up another you have to play a man or two or three down.

Here’s what my squad looks like…

QB – Tom Brady
RB – LT(omlinson)
RB – Fred Taylor
WR – Donald Driver
WR – Plaxico Burress
TE – Jason Witten
FLEX- Joseph Addai
K- Rob Bironas
D/ST- Tampa Bay

The first game tomorrow is @ 1:00pm EST so if yuou don’t have your roster in the comments by then it will have to be a next season thing.

sapp

DAMNED YANKEES!

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

leyritz

Real talk is that ROGER CLEMENS, ANDY PETITTE and CHUCK KNOBLAUCH owe this nigger JIM LEYRITZ some money in his commmissary. Those fools were the shame of the Yankees until drunk ass LEYRITZ decided to merc’k a bitch with his Ford Expedition.

Okay, maybe JIM LEYRITZ didn’t wake up one morning and say, “I’m gonna kill the Jews today.”, but that is what he did when he got behind the wheel of an oversized sport utility vehicle after drinking himself silly.

While Senators and homo ass sportswriters act like steroids is the biggest problem facing professional sports the truth is that alcohol has been ruining athletes for the last fifty years or more. Human growth hormones and alcohol both shred your internal organs as if you were eating glass shards, but no one has been accused of vehicular manslaughter while hopped up on Creatine.

Yeah, there was that time CLEMENS tried to impale PIAZZA with a broken bat.

Being a Metropolitans fan, I enjoy a slight bit of satisfaction at the schadenfreude of the Yankees organization although I really found myself in hardball heaven watching TONY LaRUSSA’s arrest video. I guess LaRUSSA thought he had a DUI exemption since he manages the team that plays in Anheuser-Busch’s ballpark. No dice TONY, and St. Louis sucks ass again.

Who’s laughing now NELLY?

DP Dot Com Dubbles Up In 2008…

Monday, December 31st, 2007

ryan grant

Happy New Year to RYAN GRANT, the Green Bay Packer’s All-Pro running back. It’s all coming together for homeboy right now. A little over a year ago it wasn’t even known if he would play football anymore. RYAN stuck to the program and now the Packers are favored to get to the Super Bowl this year. Coincidence? Never.

DubbleUp stuck to the program and maintained his focus to get to the DP Dot Com Football Pool. This was exceptional too considering he missed a week of picks. Let me know what size you wear playboy. Nike Dunks are coming your way. Conversely, I want to send something out to Angry Citizen for scoring the lowest of everyone who submitted their picks every week. Just to show that it’s not where you’re from, but where you’re at and if you eff with DP Dot Com you are always a winner.

Happy New Year party people, let’s get together again on the other side. We got a lot of shit to talk about.

Peace…