Archive for the ‘Sports are Gay’ Category

Why Black Boys Don’t Care About Baseball (ReMix)

Thursday, June 7th, 2007

m.j.

Let’s see if the New York Times will pick up this story…

Thirteen years ago was the beginning of the death for young Black boys attraction to baseball. It didn’t have to be that way because the most charasmatic athlete since MUHAMMAD ALI was about to put on a pair of cleats and attempt to hit a breaking ball. MICHAEL JORDAN had retired from the Association and he was contemplating bringing his rare air to the Major Leagues. Unlike the great two-sport athletes of our time like BO JACKSON and DEION SANDERS, JORDAN was in a universe all of his own. He was a national hero that had a global following.

m.j.

Baseball’s attraction for African American youth had been waning since the late seventies. Ever since we found out that REGGIE JACKSON was actually a Mexican Puerto Rican. Latin players were now becoming the rising minority demographic in the MLB and the Black players inside the league had all of the charisma of a wet paper bag. Great players like RICKEY HENDERSON were confusing to Black kids because he often talked in the third person. Right inside of the city that JORDAN ruled with his Bulls teammates there was a popular young slugger who himself was on the verge of stardom. His name was FRANK THOMAS and we shall heretofore refer to him as player hater supreme.

m.j.

Instead of welcoming JORDAN’s presence into the Chicago White Sox, THOMAS lashed out at him for his attempt at playing baseball. THOMAS argued that there was some kid somewhere that wasn’t getting the chance to play baseball on the highest level because of the roster exception that was given to JORDAN. Nevermind the fact that JORDAN wasn’t placed on the White Sox major league team, he was only offered a minor league contract and a chance to tryout. What THOMAS was really afraid of was that JORDAN would steal his little bit of Chi-Town shine. It wasn’t enough for JORDAN to own Chicago for six months out of the year, but now he was going to own it 24-7-365.

Because of FRANK THOMAS’ hate JORDAN was unmotivated to pursue baseball with the zeal that he normally displayed. He played a bunch of minor league games and he even hit a couple of minor league home runs, but JORDAN never got to shoot the shot on the MLB big stage. Too bad for us because that could have been the one thing to motivate Black kids to look at baseball in a real sense and not just something for which to buy an oversized jersey and hat.

m.j.

BEISBOL IS STILL STRIKING OUT ON STEROIDS…

Thursday, May 24th, 2007

barry bonds

GIAMBI’s comments = super hardbody

JASON GIAMBI has thrown the proverbial wrench in the machine by making his almost confession to a USA Today journalist. If he had admitted outright to taking steroids it wouldn’t have been as bad as the comments he made. GIAMBI said that the players AND OWNERS were both duplicitous with equal complicity (no Sylvester the cat).

JASON GIAMBI didn’t tell the whole truth to that Federal grand jury. He omitted the fact the team owners helped facilitate the steroids era by sponsoring the drug dealers trainers that had carte blanche access to the team’s clubhouses, weight rooms and practice areas. People seem to have forgotten how desperate major league team owners were after the season ending strike in 1995. The possibility of making each game a home run derby with souvenir baseballs flying out of the park was just too sexy to resist.

The good times evaporated and the shit bubbled over when BARRY BONDS obliterated the single season home run record. BONDS was arguably the best hitter in baseball already and the 350 ft. lines drives that he normally sprinkled around the outfield became 400ft line drives over the right field fences. BONDS was always this good, but he had the nerve to know it, and the gall to show it. I’m not surprised that Major League team owners threw BARRY BONDS under the bus. They knew that BARRY wasn’t going to put on the white gloves and tapdance around after his retirement like the G.O.A.T. WILLIE MAYS does. BARRY doesn’t have a gambling problem like WILLIE does either.

The real issue that JASON GIAMBI has brought to light is how much of America’s pastime is tied up in penthouse office suites by stuffed suits that care nothing for the integrity or perfection of the game. The owner’s greed begat the player’s greed. So as these rich bastards stumble and stammer over each other’s lies I sit nearly six stories up in the sky watching adults play a gotdamn kid’s game and trying not to get a nosebleed.

I ask you this… Who’s the fool?

barry bonds

The 2007 NBA Playoffs… Who The Eff Cares?!?

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007

freakball

How boring are the NBA Playoffs? Last year I told the NBA to do away with the East-West seeding brackets by simpling installing a 1 through 16 seeding bracket. If I could have seen Phoenix and Dallas in a high scoring Finals I would have been happy. As it is I will tune in to see what San Antonio and Detroit have to say.

I think basketball is swooning now because of the nature of athleticism and the parameters of the game itself. What if the goal were heightened three more feet? This would stop all these ridiculous dunks and maybe SHAQUILLE O’NEAL would start jumping again. I would totally support the use of dwarfs as basketballs. The NBA tried that bullshit microfiber ball this season and everyone hated it. Dwarfs are better as long as you don’t dribble them by their chipped teeth.

How about letting defenders use baseball bats to stop ball handlers from attempting layups? That should be good for a little cross-sport synergy with America’s favorite pastime. I just know that Major League Baseball would totally subscribe to almost anything right now to appear hip again. How about free cocaine night at the arenas and the ballparks?

Damn, I am like a marketing wizard.

I’m Rich And I Pitch, Biatch!

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007

the rocket

How in the world do you tell a child from any walk of life not to cheat or do drugs when all they can see is the reverence and honor bestowed upon these talented drug abusers in the major leagues of baseball?

ROGER CLEMENS has set himself up to receive $9,000.00 for every pitch he throws in a major league game. I normally enjoy STEPHEN A. SMITH as much as a migraine headache, but he blew up the Rocket in this column here(no pink wooden bats). Imagine if O.J. Simpson tried to get away with golfing all over the place like the Rocket does?

Okay, that last question makes no fucking sense whatsoever, but you are still reading this blog aren’t you?

If you are among the people that think that ROGER CLEMENS hasn’t doped his blood, please kill yourself at the next intermission…

the rocket

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Saturday, May 12th, 2007

almendares

NIKE killed shit last year when they released several different styles of kicks to honor the Negro Leagues of baseball. This year they turn back the hands of time and show love to the Cuban League teams and represent for their historic contributions to baseball. Word to LUIS TIANT Sr. and this other dude from that island who used to play baseball. I forget his name…

almendares

Baseball is truly a global sport and Cuba has a long and rich history with their love for the game. There are so many legends that inspired past generation to love the game. The Negro Leagues and the Cuban Leagues were both on the fringes of mainstream recognition, but anyone that followed the game knew all about the ridiculously talented players that existed in both leagues. NIKE’s first tribute to the Latin legacy of baseball is a pair of Dunks for the Cuban Almendares club team. Almendares was a little town outside of Havana and they were the chief rivals of the Havana club team. There is a legendary story about an Almendares pitching ace named JUAN MANUEL PASTORIZA who pitched both complete games in a back to back doubleheader. The first game he used his right hand to pitch, and in the afternoon tilt it was with his left.

almendares

almendares

almendares

almendares

The second pair of kicks that NIKE is releasing for this program represents the Azules de Veracruz which was a team based in Mexico City that played during the winters in the Liga Mexicana de Beisbol. It was in the Mexican Leagues where the stars of the Negro Leagues would mix and play with some of the stars of major league baseball. Players like SATCHEL PAIGE and JOSH GIBSON were international baseball legends and they were respected for their talent and sportsmanship. When America finally decided to legalize intergration of their greatest pastime it was unfortunately passed the time for a superstar like GIBSON.

The NIKE Air Max ’90 is one the their most comfortable shoes and the colorways really pay homage to the tropical aesthetic. NIKE along with the Negro League Hall Of Fame keeps hitting grand slams. Word to BUCK O’NEIL.

veracruz

veracruz

veracruz

veracruz

veracruz