The Miami Heat are poised to offer stocking fetishist DWYANE WADE more than $17mil a year to spend on pantyhose and M.A.C. lipglass for kissing SHAQ’s ass.
The running of the bulls started early this year when the Chicago Bulls mascot was charged with running from the authorities.
BEN WALLACE to Chicago!?!
The Knicks still suck.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!
You know the ADDICT had to represent for my peoples in Bahia. The good folks at the NIKE Design Studio let me blaze my own joints that give a shout to all the kids that ‘Joga Bonito‘ in Brazil. As usual, the design program features materials that aren’t available online or at any retail locations. Please study the pearlized green leather at the heel and the toebox.
The other feature that put these over the top is subtle to most, but to true sneaker fiends GOD is in the details. A gum cupsole is a sick throwback to old school sneaker design. Sorry players, but you can’t freak a separate cupsole online either. I feel your pain. There was a glitch in the matrix the day that I had these shoes fabricated so I couldn’t get the contrast stitching feature. Too bad for me. I guess I have to go back and do another jawnt.
Sou Da Paz.
Cheers to all my readers in the U.K. I hope you guys are enjoying your World Cup victory over Portugal, not. You Brits also have the Wimbledon tennis tournament in full swing. The best story out of Wimbledon so far is how a group of “contractors” skated off with 300 cases of champagne valued at $175k. Too bad it wasn’t Cristal. The other story coming from Wimbledon is the one that I want to focus on.
SERENA WILLIAMS is absent from the tournament to rest her chronically bruised knee. Her sister VENUS had been favored to win the tournament and some people would have liked to see the sisters duel each other again on the grass courts in England. Instead SERENA rehabbed her ailing knee by shopping and making cameo television appearances. This angers the T.I.’s that run this tennis shit, otherwise known as the International Tennis Federation. The T.I.’s then unleashed their T.I. pitbull to bite SERENA on the arse.
Where else could a gifted, yet classless athlete find shelter and even celebrity, but under the T.I. umbrella. JOHN McENROE somehow managed to will himself to several major tennis titles while having nothing more than a bad attitude and a worse sense of timing. JOHN should thank AAUM that his DNA reflects more of JAPHET than HAM or SHEM because his tirades could have made him a mere footnote like DENNIS RODMAN (coincidentally, RODMAN also smashed JODIE FOSTER too).
So now this half of a fag starts to complain that, “if SERENA was worried about her tennis instead of designing clothes, then maybe…”
Dear JOHN… Fuck you! CHOCOLATE SHE-HULK will never give you any of her muscular sweaty goodness because you are a fag. In the JAY MARRIOTTI sense of the word.
This is the same prick that critcized JAMES BLAKE for having dreadlocks, and saying that YANNICK NOAH was the only player great enough to wear his hair that way. HO SIT DOWN! That’s enough from your lips JOHN McEN-HOE. Go back to being a nettlesome homo in your little tennis shorts somewhere else. SERENA and VENUS are champs and they would have kicked your whiny azz even when you were the pride of Forest Hills.
Watching the tournament at Wimbledon this weekend reminded me how much I cram to understand what’s really good with SERENA WILLIAMS. Her sister VENUS is as dope as a bump of Double Dragon (circa Taft housing projects 1993), but SERENA is the truth. And when it’s time to get fly SERENA knows how to step correct.
I remember there were the rumors that she had a slight case of P-funk, but I have to be honest with y’all… I’m kind of into that. Just not too funky. But I dig chicks that can get a little musky and sweaty. In my mind sweat ain’t nothin’ but GOD’s natural lubrication.
I can imagine being in the locker room after she has had a grueling match with some chick that the crowd wanted to win. SERENA is all sweaty and emotionally spent and I start to towel dry her muscular shoulders and behind her neck. I tell her to lift her arms so that I can place the soft cotton towel around and betwen her chest. I massage her as I dry her body to alleviate some of the tension that she has built up. It’s difficult to be SERENA WILLIAMS because everybody wants to see you fail, but she manages to perservere. As I am drying her stomach with the towel, and my arms are wrapped around her, my lips kiss her clavicle. I then begin to suckle upon her neck and work my way up to the soft skin right behind her ear.
Damn, Monday morning came quick.
And so did I.
A Boston vs. Mets World Series would be like 1986 all over again. I don’t know how the Mets would fare this go around.
Holler back if you have any extra tickets at Shea this season.