Just as an aside… it’s 10:30 a.m. on Saturday and I am drinking a screwdriver made with Level vodka and Tropicana Tropics Orange Peach Mango juice. Deeeeelish.
After reading TONY’s blog I realized that I haven’t posted anything lately relating to the civic state of affairs here in New York City. Not that any of the 6 readers of this blog outside of NYC could give a fuck, but there are 7 readers inside the city(is it bad that I include myself, BILLY, JACQUI and MASTER P in that number?) Well anyhoo…
The local news has been centered on so many of the issues that we have spoken about since last year I feel somewhat redeemed that we covered these topics, but at the same time I feel cheated too since the website’s staff doesn’t get credit for uncovering these truths. Sour grapes is prah’lee not a professional look for me so I will just “let go and let flow”.
The biggest news item that comes to my eyes right now is the wrangling over the construction of a brand new sports complex, nay, baseball stadium for the Yankees.
If it were truly a sports complex then there might be another sport played inside of it other than beisbol. How crazy are these people to spend over a billion dollars for a facility that will only be used for half of the year. Then again, what the fuck do I know? The Yankees may make all of that money back in one season by raising ticket prices and concession fees. Anybody up for an 18in, $18 weiner? No brokeback, of course
The Yanks are two steps ahead of everybody else when it comes to thinking of ways to print their own currency. One plan that is being tabled will have the Yankee front office sell bits and pieces of their former building to allay some of the construction costs for the new one. I’m sure there is no shortage of homos fans that would pony up some serious scrilla to buy DEREK JETER’s locker room chair. Since the city is essentially giving their land to the Yankees and the taxpayers are footing the bill for the demolition of the previous stadium maybe the Yankee organization will cough up some dough to the city from their memoribilia auctions. Ha! Are you laughing now?!?
As you might imagine all the local papers have trumpeted the arrival of the new ballpark as a boon to the blighted Bronx eco-system (no bitches, not ecology, ECOnomy). The dailies have been given some pretty four-color architectural renderings to publish to make the people go “oooh” and “aaah”.
Shiny things hypnotize us and make us all a bit stupid and docile. I admit that I did crack a smile when I recognized some of the faux classis architecture referenced in the design. Crappy new arhitecture that cross references classic municipal design isn’t anything new. I thank GOD that I don’t live in Cleveland, St. Louis or Kansas City because the armpit of America is like the Wal-Mart wasteland for architectural design.
And back to the forecasted economic boon that Bronx residents will enjoy… Yes, yes and yes, there will be a whole lot of Mexican day laborers that will get to eat pork loin for dinner instead of just pork rinds.
They are even creating a special hardhat for these guys to wear so that they can give homage to their country. It’s kind of like that whistle while you work thing that Mexicans love to do.
I understand that there will even be jobs for the displaced Afghans that have relo’d to the Bronx. Somebody needs to give homegirl a hardhat too.
So all in all I find myself content that the construction of the new stadium in the Bronx will not mean a goddamn thing for me unless the Yanks remove all those young whores from Hunts Point.
Now that would be a tragedy.
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