Archive for the ‘Sports are Gay’ Category

The INTERN Rolls With The BUS

Friday, February 3rd, 2006

baby intern and the BUS

The INTERN tells us his story about meeting the BUS, Pittsburgh Steeler JEROME BETTIS…

My sister and I were at the Polaris Fashion Place doing some christmas shopping. It’s like the largest mall in Ohio, when I saw the BUS waiting on line at the Taco Shack in the food court. I was like, “The BUS! Would you be willing to kiss my nephew for good luck? He was like, “Good luck for who?” I was like, “Good luck for him of course. His dad was just layed off from his gig at Best Buy and his mother is morbidly obese. You could make the difference in his life to keep him from like killing people or becoming like a raging junkie.”

JEROME chuckled and he agreed to just take the picture. I hope he gets to win the Super Bowl in his hometown, but don’t take the Steelers to cover.

SERENA Got Back Like Cooked Crack

Monday, January 30th, 2006

got

back

like

cooked

crack

Dear SERENA Ba’ygirl a/k/a ‘Court Chocolate’;

I ain’t even mad at the lowriders because I love to smell sumthin’ stinky, but with all your scrilla you can afford to copp a nice ta-ta top instead of flip-flopping them sweaty wifey-b’s?

I still loveded you though girl.

Springtime for Hitler

Friday, January 27th, 2006

baby fenway

Pitchers and catchers report in 18 days.

The Evil Empire hasn’t made too much noise this winter other than thirsting over a certain long-haired Mexican centerfielder.

Stop crying Beantown. At least until October. Manny’s staying and Theo’s back.

Note to ChiSox: If no one saw you win the World Series then it doesn’t count.

No Brokeback in Philly

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

peep the eagle

America’s gulliest city has proposed a menage-a-trois with the owner of this website, but I’m thinking he will decline what is obviously Philadelphia’s obsession with ‘brokeback’ love.

Didn’t they used to call Philly the ‘City of Brotherly Love’? Yeah, it’s all making sense to me now.

NBA TIGHT PANTS G.O.A.T. SCORER

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

the g.o.a.t.

All you young people are all giddy because the ‘ass-snatcher’ from L.A. had a career game the other night. 81 points?!? KOBE couldn’t hold the jockstrap of the NBA Tight Pants Greatest of All Time Scorer.

no brokeback

WILT CHAMBERLAIN wasn’t just a great roundballer, he was arguably one of the greatest athletes of all time. At over seven feet tall and 275 lbs. he was fearsomely intimidating, but he had the agility and speed of players much smaller than he was. By the time he retired from the game he had been selected to the Tight Pants All Star team thirteen times, won two Tight Pants world championships (Philly and L.A.) and scored over thirty thousand Tight Pants points.

classic russell-wilt duel

That’s not even counting how many times he scored off the court. WILT was a wild playboy who kept his Beverly Hills mansion filled with so many beautiful women that he was even the envy of publishing mogul Hugh Hefner. And unlike KOBE BRYANT, WILT wasn’t a dry-snitch. When WILT stood up to the opposition, he towered over it.

wilt = bombata

That’s why WILT CHAMBERLAIN was trusted to safeguard that sweeet white poohnahnee. He wasn’t going to try to azz rape that sweeet white goodness like JELLYBEAN’s son would.

sweeeeeeeetness

WILT was a straight shooter and he scored a 100 points in a basketball game without ever even hitting a three-pointer. Let’s see if ‘rape-boy’ can top that.