Archive for the ‘Sports are Gay’ Category

HOME RUN 1985

Saturday, November 19th, 2005

I love my home.
The center of the world(NYC).
Get anywhere in the tri-state in about 15 minutes.
At the corner of 34th Av and 113th St.
The Louis Armstrong School.

I open my window to receive
the orgy of noise that is the summer.
Empty playgound echoes the sound
of pennies tossed from a tenth floor terrace.
Endless drone of piston provoked rubber rings
as Z28’s and 240 SX’s float upon the Grand Central.
Shrieking, creaking, groaning, moaning on elderly rails
the elevated flails for Times Square.
Thunder screams from a DC-37
polished aluminum bird leaves LaG.

And with all of this going on
still the sweetest song.
36,749 strong

When #18 takes a leather wrapped ball of string
and places it in the rightfield parking lot.

straw man

N.F.L. Week 11 Picks by GENEVA JONES

Friday, November 18th, 2005

are you ready for the football?!?

You kids are in luck this week. The website’s #1 investigative reporter, GENEVA JONES, left me with her football picks for this weekend. Trust us, if there is one thing that our O.G. GENEVA knows for sure it’s her football. Back in the days at her alma mater University of Wisconsin – Madison, GENEVA was known to have gone from playing a tight end to ending up a wide receiver. With that kind of talent we are lucky that she plays for our team. So from the mouth of GENEVA to your local bookie may the force be with you.

1) BUCS over FALCONSRON MEXICO is way overrated and on the football field he doesn’t last much longer.
2) BRONCOS over the JETS but not the spread. The JETS suck but JUSTIN McCAREINS is my new baby daddy.
3) GIANTS get up in that EAGLES ass (plus the points). Why does it make me giggle when I say that?
4) DALLAS does DETROIT but doesn’t cover the points. Sorry bossman, but +12 is too much for your ‘Boys.
5) SUPER UPSET PICK : N’AWLINS reigns over NEW ENGLAND

PHILADELPHIA = Gulliest City in the U.S.

Sunday, November 13th, 2005

t to the izzo

There must be some angel dust in the tap water in Philly.

It’s not just that the Philadelphia Eagles have fired their best playmaker, TERRELL OWENS, but they are in danger of not even making the NFL playoffs too.

And to add a fire to the flame (pun intended), the Philadelphis Phillies relief pitcher URGETH URBINA was arrested in his hometown of Caracas for allegedly attempting to kill some people with machetes and gasoline.

Note to Self: Cancel dinner plans at the Venezuelan churrascaria pronto.

NBA JIGS BACK IN ACTION!

Thursday, November 10th, 2005

allen illy

Why didn’t y’all tell me that the NBA season was back in effect? I went to a party for my man 50 grand from the NY JETS – DeWAYNE ROBERTSON and there was a dearth of the hott azz pieces of poonahnee. I understand that the JETS suck anus and that is as good a reason as any to not attend a party for one of the players, but c’mon??? What groupie follows the standings?!?

So it turns out that the NBA season has gotten underway and all the hott azz groupies have shifted their priorities to the fools with the guaranteed contracts. Who needs to know a teams overall record when there are young dumb 18year olds running around with a grip of bank?

Things look pretty bleak for my Knicks and I am not talking about gay azz MEMPHIS BLEEK. They are still winless in the early part of the season. And who knew that the New Orleans Hornets were playing out of Oklahoma City?

Yeah, I know, who cares…

Who’s Next?!? BIG PAPI?!?

Thursday, November 3rd, 2005

we wuz robbed!

Yes I know its like 100 days or so before catchers and pitchers have to report to spring training, but the resignation of THEO EPSTEIN means I will have to wait like another 86 years before the Red Sox can win another World Series.