Archive for the ‘Sports are Gay’ Category

Tears Of A Scorer Fading Away…

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

iverson

Force MD’s – ‘Tears’

Allen Iverson’s return to the Association in his original home in Philly was underwhelming. His timing was off and his energy was diminished due to his lack of, er, practice. Oh what sweet irony must taste like. Iverson will eventually regain the timing to play at the level that his body can sustain but will that be adequate for him to remain in Philadelphia? I wish Iverson was using this time as a tryout for Cleveland and, or Boston.

11pts for 38 minutes is not how I want to remember Allen Iverson.

iverson

On another Iverson note… Tim Donaghy, the disgraced NBA referee said in his new book ‘Personal Foul’ that players like Iverson, Rasheed Wallace and Ron Artest were targets of the refs for personal discipline that the Association had not meted on these players. Donaghy is successfully putting the league’s officiating on blast.

Is it possible that these games are no longer competitions but simply exhibitions?

Not For Long: Week 13

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

rg

This is gonna go down to the home stretch party people. No one is going anywhere in this year’s football pool so I’ve decided to sweeten the pot this year for even the poolers who won’t be walking off with the DJ Hero XBox game or a crispy pair of kicks.

This year we are offering a prize to the pooler(s)…

  • who have won the most weekly totals
  • who have the most points in a weekly total
  • who have the least points of a weekly total*
    *provided they submitted all of their picks for that week
  • King Blair Tea-Bagging U Hoes 104
    Flacco’s Mighty Unibrow 103
    THE UNSEEN 102
    titansfan78 102
    Don Majkowski’s wigbrusher 101
    theotherstevesmith 99
    Chief Okoye 99
    Slaug_ter House 99
    Home Cookin’ 97
    BigNat’s Bronx Brawlers 96
    furiou$tylez IS BACK BITCH! 95
    nuh nuh nuh… gone 95
    PurplePeopleEatersPause 94
    Vick Flair 94
    BXPittFan 93
    cocotaso 92
    DA’s Wonder Twins 92
    Dumb Penalties 92
    KoolMick_Lovin 91
    Suck a Dick Butkus 91
    Fearless Vampire Killers 91
    Brooklyn Gyrl 90
    BananaClipse 89
    JayWho??? 87
    CtrlAltMalik 82
    Jesse 82
    AC 81
    Ruffway Bruisers 79
    DirtyJerz 79

    Everyone is technically still mathematically eligible for the grand prize.

    With 16 picks per week make sure youi complete your sheets.

    Someone is gonna have an awesome new year.

    ThunderDome >>> SuperHead…

    Friday, December 4th, 2009

    thunderdome

    ^ Not THE ThunderDome, but something like her.

    I posted some updates on TWitter awhile back that rap music needed another superstar video vixen and why hadn’t some young, ready and able starlet adopted the nickname ‘ThunderDome’? Since SuperHead is off writing books now or what have you. It made me recall the story of a chick who rocked my world so hardbody I had to decline getting BJs from her lest she convert me into the Black Adam Lambert. For the sake of this drop we shall call her ThunderDome.

    I met ThunderDome at the City-As-School academy in lower Manhattan. City-As-School was an alternative high school for the kids who weren’t able to go to normal high schools for a variety of reasons. I could say that we were all hopped up on the drug NYC and once you got the Big Apple’s horse in your veins you would nod off in a normal school setting. Most days you sat in a semi-circle for a few periods and talked about the things you got into around the city. I was assigned a jobsite location where I would work and receive class credit for that. I was placed into the showroom of a fabric dealer who supplied high end furniture manufacturers with upholstery covering. That shit made no gotdamn sense to me until I started working for the rabbi and I saw how he would source those materials for his clients.

    ThunderDome was in my class and she was as fine as hell. She was built like a Amazon brick shithouse and she was only 16yrs old. I used to make her laugh along with the rest of the class because that was my true occupation – class clown. George Carlin does a bit about being a class clown and he describes my pathos to a tee. ThunderDome and I were cool but we didn’t connect past our classroom. I was into my shit primarily which consisted of running around the city stealing anything that wasn’t nailed down. ThunderDome was into her own lifestyle as well. I got a kiss from her on the lips when the school year ended but I didn’t have any way of acting on that gesture and truth be told is that I was still a virgin. I didn’t see ThunderDome again for several years and I never forgot her kiss. Come to find out that I had left my thumbprint on her heart also.

    I want to say the year is 1990 or 1991 but I will need one of my NBA gurus to nail down the year that Jayson Williams graduated from St.John’s and was drafted by Phoenix. Williams was having a draft party at this forgotten nightspot called MK. It was a beautifully ornate bank building that was retrofitted into the swankiest of swank nightclubs. As you can imagine the bar was wide open. I have been going to obamas since the late 1980s and Michael St.Michael was the queen of the doormen. I prA’li dapped Jayson Williams. I know I gave a big hug to my nig McNasty Conrad McRae. He and Jayson were tight. It was like a Riverside Hawks Gauchos reunion up in that piece and the ladies in the building were on that same level.

    There are different grades of ladies that follow the ballers just like there are stratified levels of players. Some ladies are like that dude that was nice but he never made it off the ‘hood park courts. Then there were the ladies that were like the college star who didn’t get the call up to the bigtime. These ladies are the chicks who got too hot, too fast. Their stars burned out quickly. Then there was the groupie that was a pro level thoroughbred. She had the thighs, calves and proportions that screamed first round pick. That was your girl ThunderDome. Wouldn’t you know that she spotted me up in the party and asked me what I was doing there? I let her know I was still getting around the city. Actually, I was selling cocaine in the clubs but that isn’t the kind of detail you volunteer.

    When I tell you that ThunderDome was a fine woman… I’ve been fortunate in my travels to have known some badass chicks but this woman is the GOAT, mainly because she stood like a goat. Stacked to the max is what the OGs would say to describe her. If there was one thing I was good at it would be to play that role and I was on some stunting shit this night. You would laugh at how I can act like the fool who bought out the bar. I held her ears hostage for the rest of the party telling jokes and talking drunkard shit. I told ThunderDome she was coming home with me. She gave me that look like I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I thought I did, but I was wrong. ThunderDome was about to put my shoes on a spaceship. We left MK and took a cab to Queens. I was in the cab making out with her trying to put my tongue on her lips. This is when ThunderDome stuck her tongue in my mouth and down my throat. Her tongue penetrated the holes in my gums where my recently extracted wisdom teeth used to sit.

    If I had any wisdom I would have just payed for her cabfare to the Bronx but I had wanted to taste this woman from since I was 16 and I wasn’t about to let this chance slip through my fingers. My second floor flat was empty for the night. My roommate Polotron was off somewhere on his shit so that meant we could romp through the whole apartment. We got into it the second we entered the flat. ThunderDome was equipped with some of my favorite fetishes at the time. She had these big dinner plate areolas and her nipples looked like penciltip erasers. ThunderDome was the first chick I ever saw shaved completely on her snatch. It totally resembled a peach down there. I had my face all the way in too. My mission was to wear her labia like a ski cap and use the lips to tie around my jaw like a chinstrap. My tongue was a wandering that night and I was hungry like the wolf.

    Now with all of our kissing, sucking and rassling I somehow ended up on my back. ThunderDome did some coy shit like nibbled on my flank and stuck her tongue in my bellybutton. But when she brought her face onto my manhood that is when she started to change my world. She got at me like you see it go down in the pr0n flicks. This never ever happened to me before. Yes I’ve had my dick sucked you clowns. No I never had anyone toungue kiss my taint. I don’t even know what that shit is but ThunderDome knows what the fux it is and how it works. The rest of this drop is gonna be some of the realest shit I ever wrote on this page. ThunderDome grabbed my asscheeks and spread them open then she put her tongue in my dootchute. That shit made me make some kind of crazy noise like a dinosaur wearing a helicopter backpack. Its hard to describe suffice to say I was being freaked out.

    ThunderDome had to be exhilarated by my yelling because she went into my butt even more with her tongue. That shit was crazy. First figuratively, then literally. This wild broad stimulated my prostate so mean that I had an involuntary deuce come down. It wasn’t a full log but it was a turtlehead. The illest part is that she kept on sucking my dick. Oh my fuxing God. This woman is crazy, and I am loving it. I got up off the bad and pulled off the sheet. I wiped my ass with the bedsheet and then I climbed on top of ThunderDome and proceeded to gorilla dagger her pussy. I can’t front to y’all either when I tell you that I kissed her in the mouth. Yes, the inside part of her filthy, nasty, dirty, beautiful, gorgeous mouth.

    When I got up off her to climax she nearly tackled me just to receive in her mouth. Oh my fuxin’ God. ThunderDome was righteously nasty and freaked out I just had to stare at her for what must have been an hour. I wasn’t appalled in as much as I was aghast. I just had some real live pr0n movie shit happen to me in real life. You couldn’t tell me I wasn’t that dude right then. Forget whoever got this treatment from her before me because when you think about that shit later on you might could realize I wasn’t her first assmunch. I came to understand later that ThunderDome was a busy woman. She saw me playing that role of a go-getter and that is why she tried me out.

    When I woke up the next morning to go to work for the rabbi ThunderDome had already left. The only proof that I hadn’t been having a freaky drunken dream was the shitty sheet on the bedroom floor. I had a hundred dollars and some loose grams in my jeans pocket from the previous night. I could have sworn I had more money than that when I realized that a little yard was a small price to pay for the experience that I had. For the rest of the summer I saw ThunderDome at various club and industry parties and if I had some trap on me that I didn’t mind blowing (puns always intended here at DP.com) I would spend it on her. I never let her eat my ass again tho’. That shit was too fuxin’ good. You don’t want to get accustomed to that shit tho’. I’m sure many a motherfuxer has been turned out by ThunderDome. I knew well enough to stay in my lane this time so at least I wouldn’t have to throw away any more sheets.

    Bizarro B-Ball…

    Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

    bizarro

    What else can you call the team with one of the Association’s worst records serving a facial to the team with one of the league’s elite records? The Knicks should make GALLINARI their franchise player for at least the rest of the season. When you have a white guy who can pop from the arc and pull down double digit rebounds picking up Iverson would have been nothing more than Affirmative Action and we all know that AA shit is dead and stinking.

    Around the Association…

    Iverson back to Philly. Who the fux cares?

    New Orleans is asscheeks with CP3, Okafor, West and Posey? Byron Scott took the fall but there is something rotten in the Hornets lockerroom.

    Adam Morrison will have a championship ring before LeBron James does.

    Kevin Durant > LeBron James

    The Tiger By William Blake…

    Sunday, November 29th, 2009

    tiger wuss

    Tiger, Tiger, burning bright
    In the forests of the night,
    What immortal hand or eye
    Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

    In what distant deeps or skies
    Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
    On what wings dare he aspire?
    What the hand dare seize the fire?

    And what shoulder and what art
    Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
    And when thy heart began to beat,
    What dread hand and what dread feet?

    What the hammer? what the chain?
    In what furnace was thy brain?
    What the anvil? What dread grasp
    Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

    When the stars threw down their spears,
    And water’d heaven with their tears,
    Did He smile His work to see?
    Did He who made the lamb make thee?

    Tiger, tiger, burning bright
    In the forests of the night,
    What immortal hand or eye
    Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?