Archive for the ‘Sports are Gay’ Category

Revenge Of The Sith…

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

kobesan

I don’t think the Rockets can get away with manhandling the face of the Association. How many other Black dudes have gotten away with stealing the booty of a young tender… White? Exactly, KOBE is more connected than TIM DONAGHY was. At the end of the day you still have to hit the shots and KOBE shot better than 50% from the field.

The series started pretty chippy from the gate and I think Houston is lucky that TRACY McGRADY isn’t on the floor for them. McGRADY is too tender for the rough stuff that we will see as this series continues. I hope he retires already and just opens up his flower selling business in Florida. The Association is too hardbody for that dude.

Some people still sleep on KOBE’s toughness even though this guy has a decade in this league and a shitload of post-season wins. True, he doesn’t have a post-SHAQ ‘chip, but you know that shit is coming. If I could get in RON ARTEST’s ear I would tell him to fall back on trying to intimidate these Lakers, especially KOBE. These dudes ain’t neva skurred.

Remember that chin check CHRIS CHILDS served on KOBE? Where do you think CHILDS is now? He’s living in a homeless shelter as an alcoholic. KOBE BRYANT visits him during the off-season to urinate on him. I wouldn’t fux with KOBE if I was RON. Queensbridge swagger be damned, KOBE is from Philadelphia. That shit is more hardbody than Camden.

kobesan

Bay Watch…

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

jason bay

If you asked me last year right after the trade of JASON BAY to the Red Sox and MANNY RAMIREZ to the Dodgers I woiuld have told you that the Sox got jobbed. JASON BAY was a serviceable outfielder, but I didn’t believe he was the Yankee killer that RAMIREZ was. Boy, was I wrong. BAY has been lights out against Boston’s most dreaded rival hitting over .500 in the five games played this season with 3 HRs and 10 RBIs.

I love JASON BAY’s swing because it reminds me of MIKE PIAZZA [ll]. That is to say that I think he has the classic two-handed follow through of some of the best right handed hitters. What I am also learning about BAY is that he hasn’t changed his stroke from the one he used while in Pittsburgh.

jason bay

I owe a bit of an apology to RAFI KAM since I told him that roto-leaguers knew stats but they didn’t know players who had a feel for the game.

As of this moment Boston is in second place in the American League East behind Toronto. That is sure to change before the All-Star game. DAVID ORTIZ has been slumping and the rest of the Red Sox lineup has to get in gear. The teams offense has been primarily BAY and KEVIN YOUKILIS.

I’m sorry I slept on BAY. He may end up being an All-Star in July.

With only less than 15% of the baseball season completed I would give JASON BAY 3.5/5 swimsuit PAM ANDERSON’s.

bay watch

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

dp

It’s intra-mural softball season again and I have decided to get in the game to hopefully shed some of this winter hibernation weight.

Well, for me it wasn’t like I was hibernating, but rather drinking too much alcohol.

Anyhoo…

It’s time for me to take out the dusty old glove and the rusty old bats, but you can best believe my footwear will be crispy as ever, at least for the first game.

I’ve got my eyes on the NIKE MVP series of baseball cleats. These are like the ones that MANNY RAMIREZ wears.

mvp metal

Everyone on my team pitches a bitch with me for wearing metal cleats. Its not like I have ever slid. Evar.

I just like wearing what the pros wear even if my game is mostly fanboy meets waterboy.

mvp molded

I’ll prA’li end up wearing the molded cleats though since I will be playing first base again this year.

I’m something like MO VAUGHN and RUSTY STAUB combined with Mo’ Better Blues and a rusty nail. You don’t want no parts of this mang.

R.I.P. ERNIE BARNES

Saturday, May 2nd, 2009

sugar shack

BARNES was a former NFL lineman whose passion was for painting. I love this piece above for all the emotion and movement he described in the bodies.

BARNES was also the consummate humanist. BARNES said that he never painted any subjects with their eyes open because, “We don’t ever see each other, we are blind to each other’s humanity.”

Beast From The East Now Best In The West…

Monday, April 20th, 2009

chaunce

CHAUNCEY BILLUPS is tragically underrated. How steady and clutch had he been for the Pistons? How many teams has dude played for in the Association? I’m not saying that Denver will outlast Los Angeles in the Conference championship but if there is anyone that can add the hardbody center to CARMELO’s marshmallow personality it is BILLUPS. He is even more hardbody than KENYON MARTIN. Print that last line.

I was hoping the Rockets would have been the #2 seed in the West mainly because KENNY from Kenny’s Kitchen would have hooked the kid up with at least an extra chicken wing with my pork fried rice. RON ARTEST deserves some kind of award for the game he played this season in Houston. TRACEY McGRADY a/k/a Cupcake is done for the year and the Rockets are a better team without him. Rockets see L.A. in the second round though. No way in hell the league will let ARTEST manhandle Showbee BRYANT. Print that.

I need to start showing LeBRON some love [ll]. His coronation from the Association made me feel a kind of way, but who would know better than the dudes that made TIM DONAGHY a household name? What can I say about LeBreezy that hasn’t been said? And even if these contests were rigged it wasn’t TIM DONAGHY scoring baskets for LeBRON. If the Association were just going to gift the Cavaliers the LARRY O’BRIEN trophy there would be no reason for the Playoffs now would there? The Cavs do come out of the East this year though. Print that.

DERRICK ROSE is clearly the rookie of the year. Will Chicago take down the champs in the 1st round though? Chicago has been on a pretty mighty run when you consider P-City winning the DP.com NCAA pool, Obama being elected prexy, OPRAH on Twitter and KanYe getting his own sneakers with Nike and Louis Vuitton. I think that ruined all the good luck that the Bulls could used to get into the second round. Boston runs the Bulls out in six. Print that.