Archive for the ‘Sports are Gay’ Category

Meet The Maricóns…

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

minaya

The Mets should just fire WILLIE RANDOLPH already. Just let him go so that he can get another job somewhere else. Put his ass back to kitchen duty or wherever you put the jigs on a boat that can’t find its way. The Mets need someone who speaks that shit. He can be brown-skint, or even a Black, but he had better talk that shit.

Rewind to what GARY SHEFFIELD said last year. He said there would still be Black ballplayers in the game, but they wouldn’t identify themselves as such. Latin American players have internalized supremacy to the fullest. A dark-skinned Dominican would jump out a window if you called him a ‘Black’. Why do you think they try so hard to get the African roots out of their hair?

pedro

Sheeeeeeeit, Dominican hair salons are world famous for helping African American women get the ‘Black’ out of their hair. Who the hell wants to be Black if they have the option to be something else? And who in their right mind wants to take directions from a Black? Certainly not the Mets ballplayers. If you can’t hire a white to manage these homos at least bring in another Latin. Where is MOISES ALOU’s dad at? That old Latin santero had the 1995 Expos purring like a Ferrari.

I will admit to being a little surprised at the Mets inability to play for RANDOLPH. Even though he is a Black, he is a Black that wins shit. I thought that players respected the dudes that won shit as players? Even JOE GIRARDI is having a tough go with the Yankees and you can tell by JOE’s surname that he is a white. Plus, its the Yankees. We’ll be inaugurating TRACY MORGAN as president of the United States before the Yankees have a Black as a manager. Dollar bet on that one.

If these Latin fags can’t play baseball for a Blackman then bring in some fuck to get this shit straight [ll]. The Mets should have hired GIRARDI. He stayed in the game for as long as he did because he was great at catching balls.

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Monday, May 26th, 2008

hyperdunk

hyperdunk

I don’t get too crazy for release dates on shoes because that usually means camping out in front of some retail space overnight. I like my shoes a lot, but my Boy Scout days are behind me now. Still and all I have been known to catch a few hours of shuteye on the subway.

So trust me when I tell you this it is big. The NIKE Dunk Hyperflight is the first shoe that I am ready to pull out the pup tent for. I am down to pull a 48-hour stint in the same drawls like I was at Camp Alpine. I actually pulled a 84 hr mashout in the same boxers during a tilt at the Bronx House of Detention. I had to throw away ALL of that clothing.

My point is that I need these kicks like that.

NIKE goes in crazy like they did when they created the original blue Foamposites a/k/a the PENNY 1’s. I don’t even know what the materials of this shoe are. My eyesight tells me there are carbon fiber strands that act as structural elements during tension and torsion. The shoes invoke the design and purpose of bridge cables. Each of those carbon fiber strands adds more focused stability and support than a simple sheet of material. I imagine that when these shoes are properly tied up you might be able to complete some amazing feats of athleticism.

Is it the shoes?

I haven’t seen NIKE put together a viral push like the campaign they are mustering for the HyperDunk. Sneaker fiends already want the shoe on G.P. After the LakeShow’s successful run in the Association’s playoffs combined with these YouTube videos this might be the most sought after shoe since the Air Jordan III.

WE THE BEST!

Monday, May 19th, 2008

manny being manny

You are #1

For all the negative publicity that he has garnered during his career MANNY RAMIREZ is finally getting his due as one of the best hitters ever in the game of baseball.

For years the baseball sportswriters have posited RAMIREZ as a player who is selfish, or totally carefree. They were trying to have it both ways describing a player who could care less for interviews from a media that constantly disrespects Blacktino players.

But when you look at the numbers you can’t deny MANNY his Hall of Fame status. Only a few days in front of his birthday and only two(2) home runs short of 500 I salute ‘MANNY Just Being MANNY’.

That would be a sick show on Univisione. Not as great as ‘Sababo Gigante’, but still good.

The Association: Prodigal Son Triumphant…

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008

kobe

I hope that Chinese whorehouses have plenty of K-Y jelly on hand because KOBE is going in hard this summer[ll].

You knew this was going to happen. Let’s just say that NO ONE in the Association wants it more than this guy. And by that I mean the LARRY O’BRIEN trophy. He’s going to get it too.

Check out Nerditry’s coverage of the NBA playoffs so far.

ROGER CLEMENS, American Hero…

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

rocket

You can’t handle the truth, just ask BILLY X. SUNDAY

What is wrong with all of you people acting like Roger Clemens is a criminal? Do you even know what took place between him and his teenage friend? Do you know how many teens would love to have a close personal friend like the future Hall of Fame pitcher? If I were from Texas I would prA’li say that teenage girl should thank Jesus for her friendship with Roger Clemens.

Wasn’t it Jesus who said something about bringing the children to him? Even if something sexual did occur I’m sure that it was only for educational purposes. Roger Clemens helped that young woman eduficate herself on her own beautality. People should be giving more credit to Roger Clemens for being a mentor to this girl and talking to her about things that she felt embarrassed to discuss with her parents.

Things like the Rusty Trombone, or the Teabag Moustache. What about the Chinese bowtie? You are never too young to learn Kegel exercises either. Where is a fifteen year old going to learn the proper way to do these strengthening exercises if not from a first rate veteran professional athlete? Now when she goes into the world she will be fit in body and mind. Without Roger Clemens guiding hand who knows what fate might have befallen this teenager.

Now on the other hand we see Robert Sylvester Kelly producing pr0nagraffiti with teenagers you know it is just wrong. I could see if this were the Isleys, but you see what the IRS eventually did with them? There is nothing educational or endearing about urinating on another person. Even if the act is consensual. What twisted man would even consider touching the unused flower of a teenager in that manner? These are heady times people and our morality is being confronted on every street corner. These are the days that we need to celebrate the real patriots that display our freedoms.

Thank you Roger Clemens. You sir, are an American hero.