Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

Hi-Rises Stand Tall While Real Estate Falls…

Tuesday, March 17th, 2009

stuy town

Here’s a supreme article about the declining fortunes of one of the families of real estate barons here in New York City.

Clash of the Utopias

The TISHMAN-SPEYER corporation purchased the Stuyvesant Town – Peter Cooper Village from Metropolitan Life back in 2006. When the value of real estate tumbled because of the bubble being broken, their fortune took a direct punch in the mouth. It’s just deserts for them too. New York City is controlled by a tiny group of families that own the majority of the land we use.

One of the first “so called” improvements the TISHMAN-SPEYER developers started to do after their purchase was to plant trees all over the open lawn spaces. The longtime tenants and residents hated this change because it removed the sight lines from the interior courtyard that had existed previously. Didn’t we just have a discussion regarding the benefits of design when considering high rise developments?

stuy town

The open lawn area at Stuy Town is perfect for picnics during the summer and other outdoor activities all year around. The reason that Stuy Town works as a high rise development modeled after Le CORBUSIER’s master architectural plans is because of the core values of the residents. Even during the KOCH Administration, New York City’s lowest period for economics and morality, the Stuyvesant Town – Peter Cooper Village remained a haven for its residents.

It wasn’t because Black folks weren’t allowed in either. It remained safe because poor people weren’t allowed in. Poor people are devalued and disenfranchised and this causes them to devalue the things they come into contact with. Poor people are disproportionately accosted by the police. This makes poor people angry and volatile. Poor people were barred from entering this community because of all the ways that they are marginalized and mistreated and the residents of Stuy Town didn’t want to live that way either.

stuy town

Peep the aerial photo of Stuy Town. The buildings layout forms an almost castle like barricade from the rest of the city. The ills of the East Village didn’t penetrate Stuy Town.

It remains to be seen if the TISHMAN SPEYER family will be able to continue to manage this crucial property in Manhattan. The developers have been converting many of the buildings into dormitories because the kids that go to New York University generally have parents that can foot the bill for their children’s living expenses. You all know how kids treat dormitory rooms right? These buildings could look like shit within the decade. The economic downturn could force the developers to admit tenants into the housing complex that have serious economic challenges. Like Section 8 users. That is when Stuyvesant Town becomes Co-Op City.

Co-Op City is the world’s largest cooperative residential housing development. Co-Op City is 4x the size of Stuyvesant Town – Peter Cooper Village(see voided area in image below). Co-Op City fell the fuck off when they were forced to accept poor tenants into the development. The poor tenants mixed with those who had middle-class aspirations and they made the two groups unidentifiable. Now everyone that lives in Co-Op City is considered working class (read: poor). The economy is about to make all of working class. When that happens there won’t be any residential development that will be safe.

stuy town

Money 2 Burn…

Monday, March 16th, 2009

joker

One of the most hardbody scenes in the Dark Knight movie is when the Joker presides over a pile of burning cash. Something like a few million or a billion. The amount was astronomical, but what made the scene all the more perverse was the realization that dawned on you that the Joker never even gave a fuck about the money. It was never about the money to him at all, but the thrill of watching everyone else squirm, yell and scream because the cash was all that ever mattered to them.

I feel like I am witnessing that scene all over again except the Joker is now replaced by a faceless giant called the banking industry which takes money from the government, the insurers and from me, all simultaneously. While still keeping a straight face and telling me that it is out of money. The banks aren’t out of money. I am out of money. I am the one who needs the government bailout. I’m buying a loaf of moldy raisin bread for a quarter out of the back of some African lady’s minivan. I’m buying warm coldcuts from some Puerto Rican guy on a skateboard.

Meanwhile, the banks are playing everybody for chumps because we are. And its our own fault too. We are the ones that preferred the convenience of plastic to paper. With all of this convenience comes a price.

That bill hasn’t arrived yet.

THICK CHICKS FOR THE WIN!

Monday, March 16th, 2009

jessica

Remember last month when I told you that chunky JESSICA SIMPSON was one of the baddest bitches on two wheels? Some of y”all dudes str8 up slept on her talking about how the ‘Dukes of Hazzard’ JESSICA was better. Chea ya’ right! It looks like the reason I was sweating the thick chick JESSICA is because in times of economic uncertainty the same neural receptors that favor accumulating resources also favor full figured women.

It’s like there’s something in a man’s brain that tells us that lean times are in front of us and then that everlasting biological survival mode kicks in and we start to eyefuck all the ladies with the big drawls. I feel like I have been ahead of the game for some time. From the gate I only fuxed with fat OPRAH. The slim OPRAH was like an evil robot. Most chicks don’t look right either when they downsize from thick to thin. You just knew ANNA NICOLE SMITH was about to crash and burn when she slimmed down.

Watch how many thick chicks become pop starlet superstars the longer our economy stays fucked the fuck up. JENNIFER HUDSON. KELLY CLARKSON. MADEA?!? We are about to find out how much our collective conscious can handle the idea of being impoverished. I wonder if this is how shit was during the time of PAUL RUBENS (no Pee Wee Herman)? Thick chicks were the cats pajamas back then too. If the stock market tumbles just a little further I may have to eBay myself the Queen Latifah swimsuit calendar.

latifah

DP.com CRACKHEAD THEATRE…

Monday, March 16th, 2009

Right now it is 4 in the morning and I am wide awake. I am posting this video to my YouTube account since I can’t sleep. I haven’t even been drinking Mountain Dew blue either. I just have a hard time sleeping.

So for all my folks that are like me and can’t sleep during normal hours I have made the video for you. 40Diesel co-stars during our adventures in the Bronx. It’s a strange land this borough is. The only part of New York City that isn’t an island.

The Bronx is it’s own land. It’s a no man’s land. But if you can survive living in the Bronx you can basically live anywhere on the planet. Calcutta, Baghdad, Johannesburg, Lisbon, Cairo, Gaza, Rio, wherever. The discounted and disenfranchised find a way to make their own lane.

DP.com Crackhead Theatre celebrates those people. This is their story…

EFF YOU MOUNTAIN DEW BLUE!

Sunday, March 15th, 2009

md

Many of you internets are aware of the upcoming South By Southwest Music and Media Conference kicking off tomorrow in Austin, Texas. Unfortunately for the iNternets Celebrities our film submission was denied by the organizers (read: h8rs). I still wanted to attend the attend the conference or some parts thereof because it celebrates the online culture in a way that no one else has tried to approach.

To add to all of that, my homeys from The Smoking Section and Nah’Right are hosting the best party evar in Austin.

Rarely do I ever want to leave New York City, but in this case I feel like I need to take part in this conference and attend the panels and forums that discuss the integration of new media into art and culture like film and music. The big problem that I have with making this trip independently is my money situation. I’m already late with March’s mortgage payment. Even though I would consider this trip as a “working” holiday it is still far too frivolous for me to accept prA’li donations. But what my prA’li friends have shown me is that there is a loyal support base on the internets for DP content.

Now is the time to let some corporation pay for the entertainment and information we provide here at DP dot com. The readers of this site here have certainly paid their dues by contributing their attention span to my endeavors (I calls that mental bandwidth). I don’t want to sell out to just any corporate behemoth either. I would love to sell out to the company that I actually fucks with. I love Mountain Dew Voltage which we shall forever call MTN DEW Blue. How awesome would it be if these folks were the underwriter for my trip to Austin? Retarded awesome should be your answer.

Listen, I also watched the television news special that accused Mountain Dew of rotting kids teeth and I have also heard the rumors that Mountain Dew is out here shrinking brother’s sachs and the what not. I don’t believe none of that shit. Sure if I didn’t ever drink anything else but Mountain Dew that wouldn’t be good for me, but it is way better than coffee when I need that blast. It doesn’t give me the shakes either. What do you think I use to fuel my overnight weblogging sessions that go until 5am somedays? Mountain Dew blue is that fuel and I ain’t ashamed to say it. I wish that Mountain Dew blue was getting the throwback treatment like the classic flavor.

So here’s the rub… Mountain Dew products are made by PepsiCo. Guess who is also one of the major sponsors for the SxSW Conference? Yep, PepsiCo. How difficult would it be for PepsiCo. to fly me (and someone else to hold a camera) down to Austin for the Thursday to Sunday end of the conference? We will shoot a few videos of our time there and the things we experienced similar to the iC’s trip to the Sundance Film Festival. I think that shit is totally do-able and I will be boycotting Mountain Dew blue until they confirm my plane tickets. I pray that I don’t have to ratchet this boycott up another level.