Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

MUGSHOT HAIRSTYLE MODELS: SUPER BOWL EDITION

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

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Mugshot Hairstyle Modeling school has been on hiatus while we tried to straighten out some of the financial aid issues of our students. In a floundering economy you generally see an increase in the number of Mugshot Hairstyle Modeling school applicants.

This week we travel to Tampa Bay Florida, the location for Super Bowl XVIII, to meet and greet some of the lovely Mugshot Models who are competing in the streetwalker face off. Prostitution is sometimes referred to as the oldest profession, but I have to disagree with this on two counts. First, what was the profession that gave people the money to give to the prostitute? And second, why are there no professional organizations for prostitution to aid these “professionals” with health care and legal services, when necessary?

Anyhoo, DP dot com has love for the ladies that take it on the chin while laying on their backs. If there is one place these professionals can get some shine it is here.

Pics are courtesy of The Smoking Gun dot com.

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The TruBlood category
I have to go with the icy blue clear eyes of the contestant on the right.

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The Me Love You Long Time category
How can you say no to a wonky eyed ho?

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The She Was Only 17, But She Was Sexy category
I favored shorty who looks like Janet Jackson’s illegitimate daughter from DeBarge, but then I realized how much I loved Hilary Swank.

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The Granny GoodeLove category
Grandma with the bangs and the floral print shirt had me at hello.

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The Prom Queen category
The off the shoulder look is still a winner 9 out of 10 times, but that is such a nice purple sweater.

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The Belle of the Bowl
Homegirl right here looks like she forgot to put on her facemask before she went out on the field.

Koch Records, Kill Yo’ Self!

Wednesday, January 28th, 2009

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I wondered aloud @ XXL if Koch Records was really the Def Jam Records that I remembered from my youth when the homey DJ DaddyMack hit me up on the Twitter that Koch Records had gone and killed they self.

Actually, they have dissolved themselves into their parent corporation. This can’t be good news. There was supposed to be a gang of records dropping under Koch including the homey Joell Ortiz’ latest joint. I think they were holding something from Slim Thug, Alchemist, Havoc and a D-Block project as well.

This fucked the fuck up economy is taking niggas out while they sleep like an Israeli helicopter gunship. It’s a good thing for Jim Jones that he stays wearing that 1929 soupline hobo swagger hairline. He might be the only cat that can weather this economic storm.

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EVERYBODY COUNTS…

Tuesday, January 27th, 2009

hope 2009

The Dept. of Homeless Services HOPE 2009 project went down last night. HOPE stands for the Homeless Outreach Population Estimate. The purpose being to create a point in time estimate of the homeless people living in the city so that services can be given to the areas that need it the most.

I participate in the survey every year because I consider myself on the cusp of homelessness. Bigger than living paycheck to paycheck is also the sense that if I needed shelter I would have no place to turn. That isn’t actually the case, but I like to act like it is so that I stay on my grizzly and I remain thankful for all the things that I do have. Can you even fathom someone living outdoors during this time of year? These are nights not fit for man nor beast.

I took on the role of team leader with my surveying group since I was the only one with the gift of gab. You have to know how to approach people in the ‘hood at 2am. As Chris Rock has previously identified most folks on the streets at 2am are up to no good. You don’t want to jump out on folks on some funny style shit because you will get nathan. Maybe some crazy eyes, but mostly nathan.

In the middle of our survey they base office sent a press team out to watch us complete the survey. They were like a bunch of folks who moved to New York City from Iowa. Even the Black dude from NY1 News who grew up in St. Albans seemed to be a bit of a greenhorn. No disrespect to the brother’s naivete because that is what you get when you leave the ‘hood to go to college and better yourself.

At least the brother was kind enough to put me in his segment that they broadcast. If you live or work in New York City you might should want to turn on your TV to channel 1. I get my Obama stump speech on where I tell people why they should feel a sense of obligation to volunteer for endeavors like HOPE 2009, or anything that is community related. Finally we have overcome Black people. The news is now featuring African Americans that have some intelligent shit to say.

NY1 News

Dear Momma…

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

momma luvs

Nothing gets a rap dude more emo than his jewelry or his momma. I’m no rap dude, and I don’t own too much jewelry to get sick over, but I am blessed to still have my moms. Homegirl is situated in the ‘A’ right now and even though we are a million miles away we are still connected – psionically umbilical.

Almost two weeks ago I awoke on Sunday and I couldn’t walk. I literally could not get out of my bed. My right hip was in mind-numbing pain. It reminded me of being in a car accident. What the fuck?!? I’m as grown as any grown ass man when it comes to dealing with physical pain, but the onset of this was so sudden and so wrenching that I’m pretty sure I called out to my mom. I needed her to take the pain away with her mom magic. She is in Atlanta though and unfortunately, as much as I have read my X-Men comics, I could not teleport to her. I fell back in the bed and slept the entire day.

Later that evening, after I had reawakened, I did my normal weekend routine: urinate, open the ‘frige door, sit down to my computer and then check my phone. I noticed on my phone that I had missed a call from the lovely Chocolate Snowflake, and my cousin Jennifer from Atlanta had called me twice along with another unrecognizable number with a 770 area code. Two missed calls from Jenni is kind of like the ruh-roh, so I called up cuzzo without even listening to any of the messages beforehand.

DP: Jenn what’s up?

Jenn: Darry did you hear the msg?

DP: No, what happened?

Jenn: Your mom fell and broke her hip!

DP: Damn!

So that was what I was feeling earlier in the morning. I was hurting because my mom was crying out to me. I got the details from Jenni on what had happened. Dukes was making her post-Sunday services Wal-Mart run and fell down in the parking lot. She was stabilized in the hospital, but because of all the pain she was given morphine.

Damn.

You don’t ever want to eff with morphine, even if you eff with morphine. I swear that it’s like being outside of your body and watching the rest of the world pass you by.

I told my cousin that I needed her to make sure that my mother signed nothing without my consent. You need to have a security guard alongside your bed when you are in a fucking hospital. You could be in pain or trauma and one of those staffers or a doctor will hand you a clipboard that says you will donate your eyeballs to them while you’re still alive. Jenni and my mom’s BFF were on the case and they weren’t going to let her get the guinea pig treatment that happens to folks without an advocate.

When I spoke to Dukes the next day, her voice could not belie her misery. My mom is normally a bit anxious and concerned about minutae that isn’t important in the moment. So naturally, even though she’s laid up in the hospital, she’s worried about my younger brother.

Fuck him! Your shit is fucked the fuck up right now!

Of course I didn’t say that to my mom. That’s her baby. My eyes roll, but then we get to the business at hand, which is her surgery. We both agreed upon the replacement of the hip as needed, instead of the less remedial nuts and bolts job. Surgery is some serious shit though party people, especially when you are put under general anesthesia. Thank GOD my mom pulled through the procedure. She is in a rehab clinic now in Smyrna and I am getting my shit together to go see her.

I had planned on getting back to Atlanta in March for her birthday, but this circumstance has pushed the date forward, not unlike the release date for KanYe West’s 808’s & Heartbreak. So I am calling this trip multiple sclerosis and hip break. The theme will be to see if I can give Dukes the spirit and the courage to get back up on her own two. She is telling me that her multiple sclerosis is preventing her from rehabbing effectively. I don’t buy that shit. My mom is pissed that my dad got on the spaceship without her. She has family and friends in Atlanta but she is ultimately alone for the first time in damn near forty years.

Being alone is scary and depressing. Except for me. I’m a loner in my own right. Poor C.S. has to deal with my mood swings and my temper tantrums a lot too. She is a sweetheart of a woman. I hope I don’t lose her, but I lose them all eventually. In the meantime and between time I have to focus on getting my paper up to jump to the ‘A’. Sadly for me this means no sneaker acquisitions for a couple of months. I will need to be in a fucking rehab myself. What I also need is a little help from my friends.

Some of you have been very generous and kind to support this website by clicking the PrA’li button over to the right. I appreciate that from my heart and I kindly need you to touch that button again. I need to drum up the scrilla for a ticket to leave New York City on or around the 12th of February. The prices right now are approximately 2 bills so that should be something that we can all muster. I am not asking you to donate any more that $5 because this economy is fucked the fuck up for all of us. At the end of the day it is PayPal who wins since those bitches will take $.45 from the five spot.

I thank all of you folks for investing in this website with your money and also your time, because time is money. If you could do me another favor and leave me a note in the memo section about which drops you favor on this site and I will make sure that I create a post for you. Please don’t be shy either. Go into the archives and find something that you fux with. I have over 3100 drops here at DP dot com. There has to something that makes you spend your time with me.

Life goes on for us all, my internets family.

And I won’t stop the bodyrock until I am on that spaceship my damn self.

GIVE HOPE, IN REAL LIFE…

Monday, January 19th, 2009

hope 2009

Do you feel like making a difference in the city that you live in?

Every year the NYC Dept for the Homeless organizes a citywide survey designed to put a clear estimate in place for all the people that may need their services. The survey is called HOPE. This stands for Homeless Outreach Population Estimate. The HOPE survey is crucial for establishing where the DHS agency’s services are most critically needed.

For the last few years every night that DHS has conducted the survey it has been colder than a witch’s tit on the streets. Can you imagine living outside during these nights? People do that shit and more. You will see some things during the survey that you may have only heard rumors about. People are living in parks and sleeping under bridges.

Last year I found myself canvassing Brownsville, Ocean Hill and East New York. We encountered homeless people and even some transgender street prostitutes on Pitkin Avenue. Even at 2am that area of Brooklyn was alive and energized just like I remembered it when I was a teenager walking around with my friends drinking 40ozs. and puffing White Owl blunts.

I’m not promising any of you some kind of adventure or the issuance of a street credible ghetto pass, but you will understand from this night how important your time was as a volunteer for this effort. This is how you repay NYC for giving you all the enjoyable restaurants, and shopping, and entertainment options that you take advantage of. Please give a few hours of your time.

Register for DHS HOPE2009

Let me know if you sign up and where you are going to be sited. I will be in Queens this year in the boondocks near the airport. Ugggh. I would rather be in Manhattan, but nonetheless I am all in. I just wish that some of you will join me in turning political rhetoric into real hope.