Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

The Upcoming Rapper Recession…

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

know the ledge

It’s BXS list time again bitches.

Good news party people, Roc—A-Fella Records was just playing possum. They about to release a compilation with the greatest hits you never heard from Memphis Bleek, Amil and Christion. Fire bitches, straight fire.

Someone on one of these threads coined the phrase ‘Rapper Recesssion’. I thought that was pretty astute coming from the pool of degenerates that typically hangs out here at XXLmag dot com. The statement might be truer than most of us want to believe too. If the United States economy has a significant downturn like all the financial smartypants people are projecting then you can definitely kiss that Only Built For Cuban Links 2 album to the wind. No one is going to want to take a chance on some old rappers looking to relive their glory days.

How many of you went to see that movie called the ‘Bucket List’? My point, exactly.

So if dark days are ahead for the U.S. economy what the hell will some of these rappers do to make ends meet? Please don’t say sell drugs. The only hustling that most of these rappers really know about is the kind where a man sells his ass to another man.

True story.

What did your boy Rick Ross say? “Every day I’m hustling”?!? Extra [ll] to that song and everyone who rhymed on the remix from now on. So aside from becoming a prostitute which I am sure that some rappers will fall into head over heels[ll], I thought we could take a look at some of the professions where rappers might find the transition a little easier into something that keeps them lockstep with their lyrics.

Grocery store checkout clerk – Not the dude on the register, since most rappers suck with handling money, but the cat that asks “paper or plastic”. How many times have rappers talked about their brown paper bags? Plus it’s almost like asking someone whether they want the red top or the blue top.

Sanitation department crewmember – This should keep rappers busy as they put all that crunk snap crap that has been filling the airwaves for the last several years in a garbage truck.

Laundry room attendant – Fools always talking about how they work with pounds so lets see them clean a few pounds of stanky drawls.

Military service – How many times have you hears rappers talk about busting gats and shit? Too many to count. It’s time to make all these shooters show and prove. Send these fucks to Iraq or Afghanistan and tell them to keep it gansgta with some a-rabs that live in caves and haven’t showered in years. Dudes will come back stateside rhyming like the Fresh Prince instead of Frank White.

English teacher – KanYe West was invited to some college to give a commencement speech or some shit. The irony is that the college dropout is caking up way more than 99.99% of the fools with degrees. Soulja Boy and Lil’ Wang both dropped out of grade school, so maybe they could give back to the community by returning to school to become English teachers. Real schools might be too strict with their accreditation requirements so instead these fools could teach one of those English as second language classes that all the immigrantes go to.

One way or the other rappers better get their Plan B’s popping, and I’m not even talking about the abortion pills.

Can’t Vote Me Nothing by MAXINE

Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

ye tudda

Editor’s note: MAXINE explains that we shouldn’t hate the delegates, we should hate the game.

February 5, 2008 will be the largest primary election day in history. More people will vote, caucus and talk political rhetoric bullshit on this day than in any other day in the history of this Republic, I mean, the history of this Democracy. 52 percent of Democratic delegates are at stake, with 41 percent on the Republican side. 24 states will participate in “Super Tuesday” and will likely tell the story and set the tone of following state primaries.

Purple states, meaning those states that hold primaries for both parties, make up the majority of those participating and also hold the most delegates. See, delegates are what really matter, a candidate can win caucuses and primaries all day but if those states don’t have any delegates, it doesn’t matter. Delegates go to the Convention, and delegates cast the
votes the votes get the nominations.

Florida, along with Michigan was recently stripped of its Democratic delegates by the DNC because of disagreements over the date of the state primary, thus making any Democratic wins in each state in name only.

Super Tuesday can make or break the ass of any candidate in either party, some of history’s most popular candidates owe the watersheds of success to the first Tuesday in the earliest month of the election year. Bill Clinton got his Phoenix [No Roc-a-fella Records] on in 1992 when he rose from the ash to claim several key southern primary states, and their delegates. Clinton later of course, went on to win the Democratic nomination and later the presidency. Bob Dole experienced this same swell of support in his Republican bid in 1996.

With all the hoopla surrounding the 2008 primaries, let’s focus on the numbers but also the states and the amount of weight each carries. For example Georgia has approximately 102 delegates, New York has 232 democratic delegates, Illinois has 135 and California has a whopping 370 delegates. Now obviously all 370 delegates in Cali don’t count, matter, or even exist but the point is to make people believe their significance with out any evidence, nothing new. While GA, has the least delegates of the states listed, it still carries considerable weight in the bigger picture.

Corporations, businesses, drug operations, and even the rap world are all representations of this delegation system created by the United States. At the end of the day it’s a caste system based on street credibility.

Make sense?

We clarify by asking the question of quantity or quality? Sure, New York has 232 delegates up for grabs, but how far does that number stretch? For example, how many NY rappers can you think of that have collaborated with rappers from Georgia? Go!

  • 1. Welcome to Atlanta-remix (Puffy and Jermaine Dupri)
  • 2. Money ain’t a thang-(Jermaine Dupri and Jay-Z)
  • 3. Walk it out remix-Jim Jones and what’s his name?
  • I could think of more but those were the first three that popped in my head, and as often when asked to make a list, I think from best to worst.

    One more?

    Illinois is carrying heavy weight, based on the history of political strife (I mentioned JFK in an earlier drop) and the level of creativity to come out of the Chi alone. Go!

  • 1. Kanye
  • 2. Common
  • 3. R.Kelly
  • 4. Lupe Fiasco
  • Are you getting the point? Illinois comes out strong immediately, Jay-Z (NY connection) to Kanye, Ye’ to Common, and Lupe Fiasco, etc. Now some places get serious rotation based on one or two people alone. Example, Ohio has Lebron James (Jay-Z connect) making James what we’d call a Super Delegate, heavy in stature and name but light on previously un-needed collaborations.

    Kind of like cross multiplication, this theory can be used to figure out who is coming out the strongest amongst the Democrats on Super Tuesday. For the dems we know it’s coming down to Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, turning this into Chicago vs. New York. Cross delegation homie! On the surface, NY is the clear winner, with Jay-Z being the major umbrella [ella ella] for Kanye and many others but because so many people are pissed at Jay, we can make an argument for lot of un-owned delegates who are making moves.

    Kanye West collaborated with DJ Khaled (remember, Florida has no delegates) on a song called “Grammy Family,” on that song, John Legend (Ohio) sang the hook. Also featured on that song was Consequence (New York), an honorary member of A Tribe Called Quest (New York), who you may remember had a small tift with a Chicago rapper by the name of Lupe Fiasco (Chicago) after a performance. Also performing at that event was Keyshia Cole (Cali) whose first album boasted of production by Kanye West (Chicago). Keyshia’s reality show is run by the Black Explotation Team, largely based in New York City and home of the Gawd-awful 106 & Park, formerly hosted by Free (Boston) who was rumored to be pregnant by Jay-Z (New York) who truthfully “wants to rhyme like Common Sense” (Chicago).

    It has been speculated (and confirmed by some) that at a concert at Madison Square Garden, an associate of Jay-Z pepper sprayed R.Kelly (Chicago) in the face, because of an interruption to the concert. During the interim, Usher (Atlanta) took the stage in an impromptu performance. At a recent rally in South Carolina, Usher made an appearance in support of Senator Barack Obama (Chicago), candidate for President of the United States of America.

    2/5/08= 15 1+5=6. 6 degrees of delegation, now you try.

    *Do you think about me now and then?*

    ye tudda

    DP Dot Com “Trickonomics” (c)

    Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

    dp bizcards

    I didn’t respect the fact that my technique for measuring the complex word count in rap songs would be such a resounding success in rap nerd circles so I probably don’t even realize the number of politicians and their economists that will attach themselves to my economic theories either.

    Let’s face it, DP Dot Com social theories are tried and tested through years of use of non-prescribed hallucinogens. A veritable acid test I might say if you don’t mind (puns always welcome here). But I digress…

    The idea I am presenting to you now is actually more of an environmental consideration than it is from an economic standpoint. Although as we elevate our thinking I hope we realize the symbiotic relationship of a healthy environment and a healthy economy.

    Peep this lineup of discarded coffee cups…

    cups

    These cups find themselves here because they do. This is the nature of a city with upwards of 10million people having access to it every single day. However, these cups will remain here almost indefinitely because the neighborhood is one of mostly vacant industrial use buildings. Place these same discarded cups in a tony, residential neighborhood and what do we get?

    Art.

    cups

    If not art, then they have at least become money, because they turn into work. Someone is going to have to clean that shit up. The wealthy neighborhoods form co-operatives and collectives that supplement the city’s services. By littering in wealthy neighborhoods you are creating jobs for street cleaning personnel, because there is no way some rich folks are going to allow that garbage to remain on their sidewalks overnight.

    Think about it, because I haven’t.

    CHOCOLATE CITY: The Movie…

    Monday, January 28th, 2008

    p funk

    Can ya’ dig it C.C.?

    Did you know that the Ambassador likes to promote fascinating happenings on her spare time? I am a promotion machine when I feel the cause merits the attention, and this is one of those instances. Hear me out, this is worth your while – especially if you live in D.C. or give half a shit about the district and what’s going on in it. And I know there are some of you in the general area reading this. Even if you’re not from the area, you’ll be able to appreciate this because countless cities (if not all) across America are facing this same exact issue.

    Two people by the names of Ellie Walton (a filmmaker for *Washingtonian*) and Sam Wild (a London based journalist) have created a documentary which focuses on the gentrification that is occurring in the taxed (but not represented) District of Columbia, entitled “Chocolate City”. Peep the trailer for the movie…

    What makes this film stand out, in my opinion at least, is that it focuses on gentrification from the point of view of the people who are facing the negative effects of it – the citizens that are losing their homes. The people who aren’t the ones making money off of the change that’s occurring in their neighborhoods. You would think that in a city that is probably most known for its political atmosphere that issues such as these would be garnering more attention, but in true American fashion, issues like these just kept getting swept under the rug because they go along with the ever-popular capitalist mindstate. Where there is money to be made, dammit, the TI’s are going to continue to exploit that opportunity.

    If you live in or around D.C., or if you’re really ambitious and would like to make a trip to the area, there are a couple screenings coming up where you can catch the film…

    ambassador Jan. 31st, The Marvin Center at George Washington University (time: TBA), 2121 I St., NW

    Feb. 10, Busboys and Poets, 4pm as a part of the Our City Film Festival, 2021 14th St. NW

    For more info, check out http://www.choc-city.org/


    BOB JOHNSON = Bloodsucker x Whipcracker…

    Thursday, January 24th, 2008

    whipcracker

    I’m surprised that so many people were shocked when B.E.T.’s founder and former bigwig BOB JOHNSON was trotted out to crack the whip upon BARACK OBAAMA’s back. Every jig on the internets who is supposed to be a few bars above the average spearchucker was amazed that BOB JOHNSON could get so slimey with his shit.

    First of all, get a late pass and freshen up your intellect with a DP Dot Com drop on the nature of the cracker. The whip cracker wasn’t always a white. Sometimes the master used one of his Blacks to crack the whip on the back on upstart young buck. The response from the people was similar to the one that you all had when BOB JOHNSON opened his mouth. Jaws dropped and people just shook their heads without any further action from their bodies.

    For over a year I kept this New York Times feature article on ROBERT JOHNSON in my apartment clutter. I often reread it and reflected on it to remind myself why I NEEDED to hate on B.E.T. so much. The article was peppered with quotes from JOHNSON that summed up his commitment to the African American community that he saw through his television network. JOHNSON didn’t assume the position as the H.N.I.C. to make Black Entertainment Television the broadcast arm of the NAACP.

    There was a singular focus for B.E.T. and that was to make money. Period. Point blank. The news programming at B.E.T. was cut away because A1) Negroes were NOT watching it. Jigs (and quiet as it is not kept, voyeuristic white) were watching rumpshaker videos until them ho’s from Spelman had to fuck up game. BOB JOHNSON came into the game as a whipcracker and that is how he became a Black billionaire and the go-to nigga to keep motherfuckers in line.

    BOB JOHNSON was used to get off a point that the CLINTON camp surely wanted to make without… inhaling. Yes, BARACK smoked woos, or whatever. Hell, it was the late 80’s. We were all dabbling in a little bit of the white girl (no MARY-KATE OLSEN). Cocaine is such a hardcore drug in the American pysche that trippy hippie LSD heads like the CLINTONS seem tame by comparison. Middle America knows meth, crack, not so much.

    This is why a ROBERT JOHNSON is an almost invaluable operative to a CLINTON campaign showing signs of early desperation. Someone is going to have to pick up the slack of RON BROWN, not that BOB JOHNSON could ever hold a spoon to RON BROWN’s sachs. At the end of the day when push comes to shove we are still living in Amerikka and most people will just fall back on the fear that was programmed into them since childhood.

    Word to Zwarte Piet.

    zwarte piet

    zwarte piet