Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

DP Dot Com Football Pool Wk. 15

Monday, December 17th, 2007

miami

So Miami isn’t going to go winless this season?

Do you think RAY LEWIS is somewhere in Miami stabbing someone to death as we speak?

I’ll also wager that Alex2.0 came pretty close to blowing a complete stranger. She really, REALLY goes in hard for the ‘Phins.

The DP Dot Com Football Pool is all over the place. There are two more weeks to play with a veritable logjam [ll] at the top of the scoreboard. Here are my unofficial adjustments to the Top 10 poolers…

DubbleUP 114
Patriot Games 113
Are1 110
bears rule 109
alex2.0_is_stuck_in_neutral 108
BurDenDer 108
Furiou$tylez & BadNewsBears 108
Zilla Rocca 107
Hello Belize 106
53 Centers 104
Desert Sole 104
Godson Across the Belly…iFux 102

There are several poolers that are in the 90-100pt range as well and they are all mathematically still in the contest so don’t stop making your picks. You don’t want these free sneakers to just fall into anyone’s hands do you?

DP Dot Com Iron-Man Mini-Movie…

Wednesday, December 12th, 2007

iron man

First off, these are action figures, and NOT dolls!

Secondly, I am just getting myself hyphy for all the superhero films dropping next year.

Third, I have several more action figure movies planned so don’t be surprised when you see me getting my ‘Robot Chicken’ on over here. If you got a problem just keep in mind that the Huffington Post doesn’t make action figure video clips.

DP Dot Com = Huffington Post x Electric Company + Benny Hill

We’re NOT Candy!

Sunday, December 9th, 2007

cocaine

Time for some DP Dot Com investigative reporting from the frontlines of America’s so-called war on drugs. This news story is regarding the mint powder candy manufactured by Hershey Brothers and the glassine packages they are sold in.

Police alarmed at candy in cocaine-like packs

Just as a quick aside, have any of you wondered why the government doesn’t prosecute the corporations that manufacture the glass crackpipes and the tiny ziploc bags. What the hell else are you going to do with a crackpipe?

Seeing candy being sold retail in this manner just turned a lightbulb on in my head. The production process that refines narcotics, opiates and stimulants into consumable products requires an infrastructure. Companies like Hershey Bros., Nestlé and Cadbury/Schweppes have the factories around the world to receive the raw materials and convert them into street ready drugs. They also have the delivery mechanisms that transport their legal “candy”. Why wouldn’t they fill a fleet of tractor trailers up with that “nose candy”?

Big Chocolate is big business, just like oil, tobacco and medicine. The companies I just mentioned wield tremendous economic and political influence globally. So if they wanted to refine drugs they could do so without a person to stop them and if they want to give their over the counter sugar-laden confections the appearance of illicit drugs they can do the same. Are you prepared to tell the sugar dealers that you will no longer be an addict to their corn syrup high in fructose, or their evaporated cane juice (for all you organic motherfuckers)?

If you are a true American you will get high on anything you choose. Sugar, alcohol, cough syrup, house paint or powdered peppermint candy. It’s all some of us can do to escape the realization that we are simply the mouse running on the wheel inside of the cage. All I know is that the United States is filled up to the gills with narcotics, opiates and stimulants. None of the raw materials for these drugs are farmed here, but the end products find their way to our street corners and living rooms. Just like with rap music, the drug business follows the same guidelines, no matter if it’s Jay-Z or Frank Lucas the game belongs to the manufacturer and the distributor, never the retailer.

United We Stand…

Friday, December 7th, 2007

union

As the television and screenwriter’s guild strike enters its second month I made a trip to the picket lines to see if the writers were steadfast in their commitment to a better and more fair working contract.

Some of the writers had even decided to give up sex during the strike. Masturbation? Not so much.

Look out for a picket plaque that reads “ONAN 4 CONAN”.

For more information on the writers guild strike and what you can do to help these union members receive the equity for their work, go to the Writers Guild of America – East website.

THE DP DOT COM GUEST ROOM: CELEBRATING WEALTH + IGNORANCE = HIP-HOP

Thursday, December 6th, 2007

dumb

“Just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this…and totally redeem yourself!” – (c)Harry Dunne

Believe it or not, there was a time when hip-hop made sense to some people. Even though there were always the detractors who claimed that it was noise, or just “nigger talk”. According to De La Soul’s ‘Stakes is High’ there was some common sense element to it. There was a time before platinum grills, every other artist having beef with one another (can you even imagine Dana Dane and Kwame having beef??), and rappers issuing their disrespectfully immodest trite verses like “I can still sell a mill saying nothing on the track.”

During that previous time when things made sense, it wasn’t so much that the actions were any less ignorant, mind you. They made sense in that gangstas acted like gangsters. They beat up television hosts, got killed, caught rape cases, murder cases, even attempted murder cases. However, they did NOT, under pain of death, 1) strip, 2) kiss men, or 3) do the Soulja Boy dance.

Seems like lifetimes ago…

Like Harry from ‘Dumb and Dumber’ (classic shit), I start thinking that things couldn’t possibly get any dumber in hip-hop. Every gimmick’s been used, every glass of NyQuil has been sipped, every tattoo has been tatted. Even butterflies. On faces. Of “gangsta rappers” .

Then I’m reassured – “Yeah, Jah, you ain’t seen nothing yet!”

dumb

Case in point, we have the brilliant folks who designed these $50,000 diamond encrusted sneakers. Apparently $200 is not enough to spend on an immediately depreciable good. We need our finances to be infinitely worse. In fairness, though, these sneakers are encrusted with 11 carats of diamonds. “Woo hoo!”

What’s next? Platinum-plated prosthetics?

“Yo, son, my fake leg got SIX rubies in it, kid!!!!”

Holler.

GYASI

You got something on your so-called mind? You want to tell it to a thousand million people? Send it to DP Dot Com and we will put you up in our Guest Room.