Archive for the ‘Straight Laced’ Category

Sesame Is What’s Hot In The Streets…

Friday, November 13th, 2009

sesame street

Rafi Kam was right when he said that the Internets Celebrities owe a debt of respect to Sesame Street (Saturday Night Live as well, but that’s another drop for another day). Without the production of the Children’s Television Workshop this world would be too mean and scary for children. The monsters on Sesame Street were our friends and they looked out for us. They held our hands and they sung to us.

You can’t imagine the transformative power of this programming even today when kids can navigate gaming consoles well before they can speak in complete sentences. Everyone is failing the children from the parents, caregivers, and up to the educators but never Sesame Street. This is still the single place that children can be adults without the burden of paying bills. Children are spoken to with eye contact and love in the center of the message. Thank you Sesame Street, without you this world would be even more fucked the fuck up.

This weekend, my favorite library in the Brooklyn, the central branch at Grand Army Plaza is hosting a 40th anniversary celebration for Children Television Workshop’s Sesame Street. They have so many activities and events scheduled I almost want to rent myself a child. If you are lucky enough to have someone in your life that you would like to introduce to the perfect world of Sesame Street please don’t hesitate to find yourself at the Brooklyn Central Library this Saturday.

Ol’ Dirty Bastard would definitely be there.

But then again, Wu-Tang is for the children.

The Sound I Saw…

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

roots

I just cribbed that headline from a great book that Chocolate Snowflake’s father published.

I always get that feeling when I attend a Roots Jam Session at the Highline Ballroom. There’s always a visual element that perfectly complements the musician’s performances.

roots
roots
roots

I try not to take the Roots for granted like I did back in the day. They were in NYC as often as they are now it seemed and the scene they were helping to build was still not the developed headliners and showstoppers that we know these people as today. The whole Rawkus movement along with what we would come to regard as the neo-Soul genre was just finding their footing. When you are building something substantial the footing is attached to the foundation and the Roots are the foundation for soul music.

The first sound that man ever made was the sound of the drum. This was the call to listen up. Man was trying to imitate the thunder from the sky because it told him to pay attention to his surroundings. The second sound that man tried to create was the song from his mouth. The song held the instructions that the drum told you were coming. When the drum and the song complement each other we learn about our world. We evolve to a higher plateau of understanding.

The final Roots Jam Session will be next week Tuesday. The Roots will continue to perform I’m sure because this is what they do, but I won’t take them for granted that I will the chance to commune with them again as I have at the Highline. This has been one of the most inspirational periods for me as a writer to be around a group of people that love what they do so much they would do it for free.

It’s now time for me to embark on my journey to deliver my journals and tell everyone I know about the sound I saw.

roots

Nuevo-Groove Baby Making Music…

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

gv

What the fux is Nuevo Groove?!? I have no gotdamn idea, but I am sure some asshat sitting in a record company office will love the name. Plus Future Funk was already used for some shit. My folks over at OKayPlayer just turned me on to a band called Gordon Voidwell and they are the leading Nuevo Groove band in America.

The mistake I am making from the outset is trying to describe Gordon Voidwell because all the reference points would be for shit I have heard previously. Shit like Funkadelic, Afrika Bambaata, Prince, Shalamar, Devo all have their own unique sounds and so does Gordon Voidwell. I’m in a place where I can fux with this band right now.

I was feeling that Shafiq/Plug Research mixtape something serious and that joint was all over the place. The Gordon Voidwell ‘Voided Checks’ mixtape stays right in the pocket. That funky pocket, where I keep the “loud pack”, if you can dig where I am coming from. Take a listen to some of these tracks and tell me what you think.


‘Ivy League Circus’


‘Planet Love’ *this mah jammmmm!


‘White Friends’


Das Racist – ‘Shorty Said’ (GV Remix)

Gordon Voidwell fux with Das Racist hardbody. This is why the world is so damn church. The world is a big place, but the folks that operate under the same cosmic sine/cosine frequency is the small subset. We usually find each other one way or another. Now that I’ve found Gordon Voidwell I’m gonna go along for the trip. Are you coming too? [ll]

Gordon Voidwell in concert for FREEEEE!
11.03.09 8:00pm @ Brooklyn Bowl
61 Wythe St.
Cost: $0 – FREE.99

Voided Checks Mixtape – FREEEEEE Download

gv

ADULT SWIM FTW (almost)…

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

adultswim

Aqua Teen Hunger Force is still one of the lynchpins in the Adult Swim programming bloc. It’s good clean retarded fun. Even when it isn’t good and clean its always retarded. And for me, that’s what matters most.

Just don’t fux with Carl’s football picks.

The BeYONCE Factor Gets Crucial With ALICIA KEYS

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

a keys

I haven’t done a BeYonce Factor in a very long time. Mainly because no one can compete with her. She is like the Godzilla of pop music starlets. Who from her era hasn’t she crushed? Ashanti? Dead to me. Amerie, Ciara, Keisha Cole are all fractions of BeYonce. Even Christina Aguilera and Brittney Spears are washed up next to BeYonce. Who wuld dare try to rise up and challenge the current queen of R & Backside? It looks like we found a contestant in the homewrecking chanteuse ALICIA KEYS.

The internets have been buzzing with the story that ALICIA KEYS is dating Swizz Beats who is suppose dto be married or some shit. Waitaminnit? ALICIA KEYS dates guys? Swizz Beats dates women? I guess mutual beardism is the new beardism. *shrugs shoulders* ALICIA is also co-starring alongside Jay-Z in the music video anthem for New York City ‘Empire State of Mind’.

You folks remember how the BeYONCE Factor works don’t you? It’s really simple and here’s a quick rewind of the format for all of you folks scoring from home or the office…

Jig, spic and priveleged celebs will be rated on a scale for how close their game comes to that of the pinnacle of all jiggaboo goddesses – BeYONCE. In parentheses are the factors that give each candidate a high or low score depending on how we at the website rate them. If a subject does exceptionally well with a factor then they will receive the full allotment of points (100).

1) Can you say her name – (the more‘Black’ sounding the name of the candidate, the higher the number of points)
2) Can she pay her bills – (cash rules everything around us – does the candidate have any?)
3) Is she a survivor – (has the candidate had to endure scandal/controversy?)
4) Baby boy – (has the candidate ever had an abortion?)
5) Cater to you – (would you want a backrub from the candidate?)
6) Dangerously in love – (is the candidate in a relationship that can’t last?)
7) Bootylicious – (this should speak for itself)

Okay, so the criteria is established. Let’s see how ALICIA KEYS stacks up…

a keys

1) Can you say her name – Alicia is hardly as ghetto fab as BeYonce – 50pts
2) Can she pay her bills – Alicia holds down a gang of Grammy awards – 100pts
3) Is she a survivor – Alicia hasn’t had to fight through bad press from former bandmates – 0pts
4) Baby boy – No pregnancy rumors. Evar – 0pts
5) Cater to you – Alicia is fine as wine – 100pts
6) Dangerously in love – Alicia is rumored to have broken up Swizz Beats marriage – 100pts
7) Bootylicious – I’ll let the pic below answer that – 100pts

a keys

ALICIA KEYS only comes up with a total of 550 BeYonce Factor points when we include the 100pts she gets for being a superior actress to BeYonce, and even then that isn’t enough for her to topple Bey from her perch on the top.

Read this and weep ALICIA KEYS stans. BeYonce is still the boss of this shit.