Archive for the ‘Straight Laced’ Category

JILL SCOTT x BROOKLYN = 2-NITE!!!

Monday, August 11th, 2008

jill scott

Brothers, be forewarned:

Sisters will have the sassy swagger turned up to ten tonight.

Don’t forget that this is the FREE concert that Brooklyn has been waiting for.

I expect to see a whole lot of sexies with that silky smooth moisturized cocoa brown armfat.

You know that thick piece of meat that a sexy has right above her elbows.

armfatt

That meat is part muscle, from all the stuff we give the sisters to carry on their own.

That meat is also part fat, because it so, so very tender and sweet.

I like to grab that meat and massage it. Then smack it. Then massage it again.

If you like that meat as well I suggest you get yourself down here right after work.

I fucks with JILL SCOTT hardbody. She got the snap-rap anthem for all the armfat lovers.

Crown Royal

Note: You can’t bring in a cooler, but you can bring in food, and beverages provided they are NOT in glass bottles or cans.

C.S. has me carry one of those reusable bags from the supermarket which I fill with sandwiches, chips and green tea.

A veritable pick-a-nick negro I be.

Tempered Expectations for Barack Obama by 40 DAWG

Thursday, August 7th, 2008

barack

Editor’s note: Just like Bo Jackson, 40 DAWG knows that a hero ain’t nuthin’ but a sandwich.

As the election and football season draws nigh I am reminded of a previous black “first” that I was involved with that serves as a reminder to temper my expectations for presumed Democratic Candidate and political rock star Barack Obama.

It was my freshman year in college and as my beloved Temple Owls were closing in on another forgetful season, the winds of change were a blowing and it was pretty much cut in stone that the current head coach was on his way out. There were several choices out there but the name that kept coming up was this young up and coming defensive coordinator from Clemson University, who was responsible for one of the top defenses in collegiate football.

This (relatively) young coach had a pedigree of major college programs, won a national title as an assistant coach at Penn State and was even a member of the undefeated ’72 Dolphins. His coaching tome of defensive back drills was critically lauded as a handbook. Groomed and lauded by his peers, and stamped with approval by our illustrious alum and fellow Fighting Owl Dr. William H. (The Cos) Cosby. By our last game of the season the head coach was a lame duck and it was becoming a veritable free for all, the successor had been named, and in agit-prop mentality of the early 1990s, much to the chagrin of the current outgoing staff, I even wore a Clemson fitted to our last home came in salute to this new brother coming aboard.

Temple University was making history, for all the years brothers have been on the gridiron never had one cracked the head coaching fraternity on the highest Division 1 Level. Enter RON DICKERSON, suave debonair cat, with Billy Dee Williams looks and charm and did it with out ever taking a sip of Colt 45. Though he lacked any head coaching experience, he was named the first black/African-American/Negroe/whatever term you prefer, NCAA Division 1 Football head coach in history, and word to EDDIE ROBINSON we were proud. Here we were a program looking for a beacon of hope and in the throes of North Philly craziness we had a brother than was gonna take us to the next level.

ron dickerson

It was an interesting time because in my young college football career the idea of a regime change let alone getting an HNIC was mind blowing and I believed in my heart of hearts that I was gonna do my part to help this brother succeed. I was also interesting because I knew that for some of my teammates this was one of the few black male role models that many had and what a shining example he was gonna be. He was all spit and polished, said he was gonna buy a house next to campus and open his home to his players and be that surrogate home for his new extended family. Point blank we were all entranced. However if I ever had an example of “all that glitters ain’t gold” this was the true and living proof of that adage.

I will spare the reader minutia of his shortcomings, for the lines of fact, perception, and opinion tend to blur in a way that would come off more as “hood lore” rather than hard journalism. However, I do find comfort in stating that the mass majority of my former teammates can all offer their varying degrees of responses about him ranging from forgetful nonchalance to vigorous contempt.

So what created this bevy of naysayers and malaise to a veritable racial pioneer of his field? Some of the circumstances;

As black players we felt that after toiling under white head coaches that some how our position in life would improved because we had “one of our own” running the show. A damaging fallacy that in a lot of ways worked out as well as thinking that West African chief was inviting you over to shake your hand with those tall ships looming out at sea.

Thinking that there was some common experience that he would be sympathetic and guiding as an authority figure to impressionable young men, who were still learning the ropes of life themselves and trying to pass Math 101 at the same time. He failed immensely on “being there” for his players who probably believed in him (and wanted to) more than he believed in himself. (More or less it generally came off like Dave Chappelle on Oprah. Where as Oprah could have guided Dave as elder and success blueprint she chose to talk at him rather than to him.)

I use these two examples to show that although they were character flaws of the man himself, in several ways they were self-inflicted disappointments because our propensity to suspend critical thinking and assessment of those who look like us that have never been in such positions of authority. Which brings me to Barack Obama.

In no way am I any less proud of what Obama has achieved at this point in the game. In fact I remember the pride I had when I realized I was going to be part of history playing for the first black football head coach in NCAA D1 history, and the feelings were quite similar. However I implore you to not invest everything in the mere melanin tonality of the figurehead. Sometimes we get so caught up in the aspect of “change” that we lose the objectivity to wholly critique the situation at hand, especially when its one of our own.

So in essence I’m imparting a brief overview of a similar experience to not lose sight of where you are in America, and make sure that at least one of your current wrongs are righted during his presidency. If not have the fortitude and wherewithal to make sure you make a way to survive regardless. For if we all sit there thinking “we made it” upon his election you’ll be in for a rude awakening once the hangover wears off. So ease back on the witty tees and celebrity endorsements because ultimately he’s got a job to do that goes a lot farther than “First Black President”…

I close this lengthy rant with a conversation I had when this coach was going to take the job. One of our academic advisers who was also proud of the coach-elect asked me:


“How does it feel to have a black coach?”

“Its cool, but its not everything, I just wanna win.”
“Really, I thought it would mean everything.”
“Hell I’ll play for the head of the Klan if he can get me a national championship.”

The point is this, we can not get caught up in the person, and absolve them from their job which is to get results. Dickerson wound up going 8-47 (.145) and is currently out of coaching. Barack Obama? Well we’ll just have to wait and see….

(BTW – If somehow you Googled yourself and find this write up Ron, I wanna thank you and your elastic spine for teaching me very valuable life lessons at such a young age. I still await the day to sit down to talk to you man-to-man, we’re going on 11 years and counting… #68)

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Tuesday, August 5th, 2008

dunk hi

Shout out to the ‘Nova Cats and my main man ROLLIE MASSIMINO. Illadelph flavor from 1985.

Speaking of Philly, the BADU show at Wingate was kind of meh.

I don’t blame ERYKAH totally although she did hit the stage nearly two hours after the posted showtime. By the time she came out most of the peoples were baked. It’s hard to get excited after working eight hours, waiting in line for two hours and then waiting two more hours for that bitch to sing. I say bitch in only the most loving, endearing manner. I fucks with BADU. I paid good money to see her sweet brown booty at Radio City Music Hall.

I splashed off with a pair of navy Dunk Highs in the classic Villanova colorway. ‘Nova actually won the NCAA’s wearing these in 1985. Word to ED PINCKNEY.

The flash pink laces were courtesy of NIKE iD @ 255 Elizabeth.

Heads ain’t ready, but that is the story of my existence.

dunk hi

dunk hi

And The South Stays Losing…

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

love

If you think this drop is about some rap music regionalism I may have pleasantly surprised you. Maybe not pleasantly surprised you though…

Report warns of AIDS ‘crisis’ across South

This news bugs the shit out of me for several reasons. Firstly, I don’t believe there is an AIDS virus. I know of a few folks who have died from AIDS related illnesses and by a coincidence they were all gay men. They were all people who were extremely healthy and fit.

Conversely, I should have have some disease eating through my vital organs as I type this shit out. What with all the McDonald’s, White Castles and Waffle Houses that I have frequented in my almost forty years my kidneys should be Mcnugget shaped. Diabetes, heart failure, or at a minimum a stroke should find my door. These diseases are preventable however, and most importantly, they are detectable.

The second issue I have with the supposed AIDS virus is the fact that it has no standard viral fingerprint. All viruses have a molecular fingerprint that you can observe through a microscope. AIDS/HIV does not contain one. What it does have is a socio-economical fingerprint that clearly attracts gay men and economically disenfranchised women of color. Particularly Black women.

In the past the only way I connected gay men and Black women would be that these two groups have the highest fierceness quotients, and the most shiny stuff in their respective closets.

The news on AIDS for the last decade has been the rate of infection for African American females and no one is saying the right things. OPRAH will create an entire broadcast about the Black men who live duplicitous lives as heterosexually married gay males and that only serves to undermine the perception of Black females decision making. Marriage is so far off the radar in America that the phenomenon of the down low brothers still couldn’t account for the tremendous spike in new infections.

No one is shouting out loud that the numbers do NOT add up. The rate at which African American women are contracting AIDS is impossible. Mainly because Black chicks are not giving up the pussy like that. Yes, Black chicks are fucking. Sure, Black chicks are even engaging in sex that would be considered high risk to some. But that is such a small minority of the minorities that you would have greater luck having sex with a unicorn.

Black chicks are not giving up the loveslot without using a condom. Then it all made sense to me…

I’ve told you previously to avoid the spermicide with Nonoxynol-9 in it since that shit is a bleaching agent. That shit is usually on condoms too. What if condoms have been putting a bleaching agent inside of Black chick’s boxes? What is so strange about that? Do any of you respect the allegory of the Trojan horse? Remember how it was issued as a gift, but at night it transformed into a slaughtering and killing machine?

The capitalism contained in selling people high-priced, privately-owned, patented medicine is what fuels any health crisis. If the next president thinks he can scold people instead of creating a progressive change to the manner in which we do societal business, you know, how we care for one another as a society, then I don’t need a male version of OPRAH WINFREY in the White House.

Back In The Basement…

Monday, July 28th, 2008

back to the future

When I first started coming on, er, to, yeah, to the internets it was for all things pr0n related. Natch. I didn’t fuck with the blogs too tough since I didn’t think I would be interested in reading about the lifestyle or the opinions of people who sat in their parent’s basements.

Fast forward ten years into the future, which would be the present right now, which is technically the past since it happened a few seconds ago and here I find myself talking to you from… My parent’s basement. What an ironic turn of fortune my life has been.

If we were having this very conversation twenty years prior it would have been about me leaving my folks on a sour note to strike out into the world on my own. The adult world is tougher and even more ruthless than I could have imagined. I have survived here with my guile, wit and charm. And even then, sometimes only by the skin of my teeth.

But now I am home again. Wherever my mother is will always be my home. Peace to all my fam that is without their old Earths. I will be that dude one day myself. Until then I shall remain the Black Peter Pan, sans tights and fairy booties. Forever 14yrs old for those of you that have forgotten the feeling. Reading my comics, keeping my sneakers in their original boxes, still loving the girls, but scared to touch them because that is how they gets pregnants and the what not.

Let’s have fun this week and reminisce on when we lived with our parents and they paid the phone bill…

The above pictured vehicle is a motorcycle/car hybrid from BMW. The Clever concept car will be powered by compressed natural gas and reduce our dependence of fossil fuel energy as well as reducing our carbon dioxide emissions.

Comic Con in San Diego is the largest comic book and fanzine related gathering on the planet. In the last five years or so that Hollywood has increased the output of superhero and comic book related blockbuster movies Comic Con has become a more important screening venue than Sundance or the Tribeca Film Festival. Some O.G. fans of Comic Con are feeling a kind of way now that superheroes have gone mainstream.

If you still haven’t seen the “Dark Knight’ film. Please kill yourself. Now.

The following video is of an internets celebrity who is my hero. Go Buckeyes.